I Thought I Was A Devil

Part XIII

An ambulance arrived, meanwhile, I was trying my best to keep her conscious, sitting on the footpath, I kept Hana sis's head on my lap slashing water on her face and tapping her cheeks, we somehow bandaged her legs to reduce the bleeding, she was taken to the hospital in the ambulance as I accompanied her, my clothes were covered in her blood, I held her hand tightly while calling my parents with my free hand, I informed them everything from the beginning, and asked my mother to call Hana sis's parents and pass the information to them. I sat outside the operation theatre, my head resting on my palms, I was depressed and blamed myself for whatever happened, I can't forgive myself, if only....if only she didn't get involved....if only I got the courage to tell my mother about Ayame....but would that have prevented this from happening? My brain was jumping from one thought to another, everything is my fault, how can I let this happen, I knew this would happen if only she didn't bother about me if only she didn't love me, I ruined her life, now she is laying on that hospital bed fighting for her life....was helping me worth it? I should have been the one laying there not her, she should have been smiling and enjoying her life before getting selected for the national team, but what now?...what about her?....what if she dies?....why do I even play this damn game!! What did you get from ruining someone's life Anne! No...why me....it was Ayame...it wasn't me who hurt Hana sis....why....why is Ayame safe while Hana's sis is half dead because of her....

I could again hear those dark voices whispering in my ear, "They are enjoying their life, after hurting your dear Hana sis...how could you let this happen, Anne? How can you sit here quietly while they are celebrating? Make them suffer with your own hands! Take revenge for Hana!" even the devil was angry this time, it wasn't the sweet honey tone that seduced me years ago to hurt Helena, rather it was a furious tone that demanded bloodshed. I took out my phone, from my pocket subconsciously, and dialed Jiro's number, "Gather as many boys as possible and wait for further instruction" I told him before disconnecting the call, I stared at the operation room's closed door, with my lifeless eyes, my lips shivered twice, waiting for a ray of hope, the door opened, as the doctor walked out of the operation room restlessly as one of the nurses approached him. I got up from the chair, and my body trembled from fatigue, making me realize that I have been sitting for a long time, ignoring my body, I walked toward the doctor.

Me: Doc....Hana sis...? (those were the only words that came out of my dry mouth)

Doctor: (he looked at me with a dark expression) Sorry kid...currently we can't say anything for sure, the girl you brought has lost lots of blood, and we don't have her blood group currently available in our hospital, so we are trying to search in other blood banks, but don't worry, we are trying our best. (he gives a professional smile)

Me: W-Which blood group? (I asked in a low voice looking down feeling more guilty)

Doctor: AB-.... Now if you please excuse us, we are busy (he was about to leave when I called him again) Yes? (he looked at me)

Me: I have AB-, please take my blood. (I said kind of excited as it gave me hope)

Nurse: (she looks at the Doctor before putting up a sweet smile at replying to me) Child, you can't donate blood until you are 18.

Me: B-But it's an emergency! What if something happens to Hana sis?! (I said in a desperate tone, both the doctor and nurse looked troubled by my 'childish demand') I have the blood group and am fit enough to donate, so please take my blood and save Hana Sis's life!

Douglas: Enough, stop creating a scene in the hospital and causing trouble for the workers. (he stood behind me, I looked up to see his frowning face) You have caused enough trouble already, go there and sit quietly (he points at the seats before focusing on the doctor) I am AB-, please go through the necessary process.

Nurse: Please come with me for the blood test, before the donation. (she says leading the way as Dad followed)

Anna: (she sits beside me giving me a warm hug) Please don't listen to your Dad, it was not your fault...

Me: It was my fault.....(I buried my face in her chest while hugging her as if trying to find a safe place to protect my last piece of sanity)

Anna: (she remains quiet for some time as she stroked the hair that fell on my face) Hana's parents are out of town, they will be coming tomorrow...

Me: I ruined her life...didn't I? (I said with a weak voice giving out a dry cough due to my dehydrated throat)

Anna: Let me bring you some water... (removed her hands and was about to get up)

Me: (I held her back, hugging her) Please stay....(I looked into her eyes, with an emotion that I didn't understand but she understood me and held me in her arms kissing my forehead, as waited for further news)

After the blood transfer was completed, Doctor informed us that Hana sis was out of danger and was currently unconscious, we can meet her after she woke up, Mom suggested that I return home, but I refused, I wanted to stay there the whole night, mom had to go back, Dad stayed to accompany me, that whole day I didn't eat, sleep and hardly drank any water, I was feeling dizzy. I saw Dad meeting the doctor privately and they were discussing something, I couldn't hear, my eyes were blurry and my body ached from tiredness, I don't remember when I passed out while sitting on the seat. The next day, when I woke up, Hana sis parents have already arrived, and my mother was standing with them, Hana sis's mother broke into tears while they had a conversation with the doctor.

Hana sis's mom: Disable f-for life? (she cries while my mother tries consoling her)

Me: (I murmur to myself with my dry lips) D-Disable?..... (It felt like someone hit my head with a hammer as it starts aching badly)

Doctor: You can meet her, just don't overcrowd (he leaves after saying that)

Hana sis was already shifted to the general ward, she was conscious now and was in a position to speak and attend to people, Doctor told her parents, Hana sis may have to be in a wheelchair for her whole life, so to prepare them mentally, while Hana sis's parents went to meet her, my mother forced me to have something to eat and made me drink water. My head continued to ache, but I felt a bit refreshed after eating. The devil's voice kept on whispering in my ears, I felt emotionally drained, and the only thing I could think was revenge, I got up from the seat and told my parents that I was going to the washroom to freshen up, the blood on my clothes have already dried up, I wanted to wash my face, and get rid of the blood on my body, I walked in the bathroom, standing in front of the basin, I washed my hands with soap, and slashed water on my face, staring at my reflection, I murmured to myself, "Ayame....run....before I get you...."

To be continued.....