I Thought I Was A Devil

Bella

Bella stood there quietly wiping her tears, her eyes were slightly red and moist. She used her palms rub the water off the corner of her eyes before raising her head and glancing at my face filled with various emotions, her lips trembled, but she couldn’t bring up the courage to speak, Victoria’s words echoed in her head. I sighed while taking out my handkerchief, and offering it to her. She takes the handkerchief wiping her face, her gaze fixed on me.

Bella: Why?.....(she gulps her spit, feeling confused and anxious)

Me: Hm? (I tilted my head)

Bella: Why are you doing this?....why are you so hell-bent to get a worthless woman like me to join your team? (Her lips trembled) I am useless….. pathetic…..I….I always thought….that if I am good at studies…people will start looking up to me….they will start speaking with me….(water rolled down her cheeks as she tries to speak) NO BODY EVER SPEAKS WITH ME!! And…I understand….I am gross….a gloomy girl….bookworm….I don’t know how to express my feelings…..I don’t know how to make friends….(she keeps on wiping her eyes till it’s swollen) Everyone approaches me, only when they need something….they know Bella will always be there to help….I thought, I could become close to Victoria, but I was wrong, no body needs me….why was I born?....I should disappear…..I should…..yeah….(She sighs feeling detached)

I could feel eyes staring at our direction, the whole class was quiet, some were in disbelief, some found it entertaining, mostly no one cared. It is amusing how ignorant we can get towards someone’s miseries. I fell short of words, there was hesitance.

Me: (I sighed) Bella, you are not worthless, each and every organism on this planet has their unique characteristics, we are born to contribute, and no one can measure others worth, we are meant to co-exists. It’s just, humans feel entitled and superior to everything in their surrounding, its not your fault that some idiots fail to understand your value, it just means that you are beyond the capabilities of their judgement.

Bella: Easier for you to say…..Anne, I don’t want to become a burden for your team….I am sure that you will find a far better teammate than me. (She says while returning my handkerchief)

Me: Bella, I know what I am doing. (I said sighing even more, I felt tired, there was an emotional turmoil going inside my own mind, I was running out of patience, but I didn’t wanted to fuck this up, after coming this far) Anyways….it’s not my team in first place. So, why don’t we ask Julie regarding her thoughts before you make any decision? Trust me, no one will force you to do something against your will. (I smiled faintly before stepping back and letting Julie take care of the situation).

Julie: (she pulls Bella in a warm hug) You can cry if you want, I don’t know what you will decide but one thing I can promise as a captain, from now on, you won’t feel lonely. (She says before kissing Bella’s forehead)

Bella: But…..(she buries her face on Julie’s chest, trying to stop her overflowing emotions) I am…. Useless….I don’t know how to play sports, I am bad at studies….I am good for nothing…

Julie: Practice makes us perfect, we all are learning something new each day, its true that some are born with talents, but most of us sharpen it. So stop having such negative thoughts and start working on yourself. Giving up will only mean that you have lost interest in breathing. (She says wiping Bella’s tears) We won’t force you to join, but I would be grateful if you do, you would be a valuable asset of our club. (She smiled brightly)

Bella: (she stares at Julie feeling loss of words, something felt different, her heart was finally light) You cannot regret later. (Julie nodded slightly) Alright…..(her cheeks looked rosy with excitement) I am ready. (She wraps her arms around Julie’s neck giggling like a child)

I felt satisfied watching them quietly from far, Choon joined the conversation and congratulated Julie and Bella. There was someone else, who was monitoring the whole scenario with anger and frustration, Christina stood at the far end of the classroom tapping her feet impatiently, it seemed like everything was getting out of her hands, her eyes were fixed on me, she knew that she need to do something before it gets further spread. She walks out of the classroom along with her sidekicks, our eyes met for a second, there was a smirk on my face.

Jules: mhm~ you know Bella, you seem like someone who writes pervy stuffs in secret. (She says with a wide grin over her lips)

Bella: W-What….(she gets flustered)

Me: (I wrapped my arms around Jules’ neck and chocked her) Bitch, how dare you ruin a wholesome moment?!! (I pinched her cheek feeling frustrated)

Jules: ARG!!!! WHERE IS THE FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!!!! THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY!!! (she says while struggling to free herself)

Me: freedom of speech doesn’t mean that you get to say anything that crosses your head, you motherfucker! (I said while tightening my grip)

Julie: A-Ah….Anne….I think you should let her go….(she says out of concern)

Choon Hee: Anne, teach the dog some manners will you. (She said while finding the whole situation amusing) Fight, Fight!

Jules: stop fueling her pride! Agh! (She says while trying to tickle me)

Me: doesn’t work on me! (I was about to knock her out)

Bella: H-How did you know?....(She finally speaks up, her response was mixed with embarrassment and confusion) I-I thought it was a secret…..(she bites her lower lip nervously we all stared at her surprised, I let go of Jules who shamelessly approached Bella)

Jules: (she places her arm around Bella leaning towards her ear) So~ you do write pervy staffs huh?

Bella: Bit….I write some novels….that’s it….(she blushes out of embarrassment)

Jules: (she smirks) You will let me read some, won’t you?

Bella: (nods slightly) if you recommend me something spicy in return.

Jules: (she turns her face towards me stretching her arm while giving me a thumbs up) I approve, she is besto, perfecto decisiono. (She nods in agreement)

Me: I will kill you……(I said in a low voice)

Jules: (she shivers down her spine) Julie! Seeeeeeeee, she always threatens meeeeeeeeeee. (She says while squeezing out some tears)

Choon Hee: Fighting! (She says excited)

Julie: Calm down guys. (She said while laughing nervously)

“These people are crazy….” I could see what I am getting myself into, what the hell is going on in my life?

To be continued....