I Thought I Was A Devil

Season 2 Chapter 18

It was my birthday, I sighed while picking up my phone and dialling Maria’s number, my parents have went to waterpark with Angela to celebrate her birthday, I choose to stay back at home. It was my plan to send them away so that I can enjoy some peace of mind, plus the main point is that I got my mother’s credit card to spend some money on myself, this is my birthday gift from my beloved mother. I kissed the credit card “best birthday present ever!!!!!” anyways, where was I? Oh right, calling Maria. The phone started ringing as I crossed my fingers hoping Maria to pick up the call.

Maria : You bitch, you knew I won’t be able to ignore you on your birthday. (The voice sounded like irritated murmuring)

Me: How are you?....(I asked in a low tone filled with guilt)

Maria: Alive. If you are done, I am disconnecting the call. (She said frustrated)

Me: It feels like Antarctica. (I gave out an awkward laugh)

Maria: Lame joke… (she sighed) What do you want?

Me: Uhm…Maria…I am going to Germany….to start a new life…with two acquaintances….so I thought of letting you know regarding my decision. (I hesitated)

Maria: Anne…why the fuck are you telling this to me! Do you think I will praise you?! You bitch!! You didn’t pick up my calls since last three years and think that you can come back to someone’s life after ignoring them?!! Are you an idiot!! I kept on calling you!! I thought you are dead!! You know what?! It would have been better if you had died! (She disconnected the call)

I blinked and stared at my phone, this was the first time Maria has showed angry, and it was justifiable, I felt guilty and I deserved the scolding. My phone started vibrating as I received the call trying to hold back my laugh.

Maria: (she spoke at a low voice filled with guilt) Are you alive?...

Me: Physically. (I replied instantly)

Maria: I am sorry for taking out my anger….(she hesitated while speaking)

Me: I didn’t mind. I deserve your scolding, but I won’t apologize. I had my own reasons, and my apology won’t fix the broken promises…but I can try to make sure that the mistake isn’t repeated….but then again, there is no guarantee…(I sighed, I know I should be reassuring her, but I can’t give her fake promises)

Maria: You bitch, you didn’t change even a single cent, Anne when will you learn to open up?...and what are these acquaintances, can’t you just call them friends? (She sighed)

Me: We aren’t close enough to be called friends, moreover, you know very well that I hate getting involved in meaningless relationships. (I said in an emotionless tone)

Maria: Right….but do they feel same about you? Have you ever reflected the fact that they may be considering you as their dear friend? (She sounded disappointed)

Me: Then it’s their problem, I never asked them to become my friend or gave them false hope that they are my friends….so I don’t understand why should I need to reflect on my actions. (I was genuinely confused)

Maria: Brooooooo…..you are beyond help jeez…..(she starts laughing) I feel bad for those who are handling you. Anne, even if you are a genius….you are hopeless, you idiot!! But you don’t treat anyone badly, so that’s the positive thing about you, you know what? I was being jealous thinking you will replace me with your new friends….but damn bro! (Her voice was excited)

Me: Why would I replace you?....(I felt more confused) What are you talking about? You are making me confused….did you hit your head or something?....

Maria: You won’t understand my anxiety….I only have you beside my parents….(I could feel her sadness through the changing tone but I didn’t know how to reply) Anyways….have a good day. (She says before disconnecting the call)

I pouted before throwing my phone on the bed and started tidying up my room, I found some old photographs and a small box, it contained a diary and my harmonica, I haven’t touched musical instruments since last 10 years after I vowed to stop singing and dancing for Angela’s sake, and I am glad that I took the right decision….She has come a long way, I touched my rusted harmonica feeling nostalgic before closing the box and locking it. I opened my drawer and rummaged through the contains to find a cigarette but the cigarette package was empty, I packed my luggage and changed my clothes before going downstairs to my parents room, opening my father’s wardrobe I took out a package of cigarette and shoved it inside my pocket before locking the wardrobe and walking into the kitchen, I opened the fridge to check for leftovers, there was a small note along with a dark chocolate cake, I rolled my eyes while taking out the cake from the refrigerator, “Wow, they remember my choice this time, am so grateful” I thought sarcastically, I know my mother brought this cake for me, or else father would have fucked up again.

I took a knife and removed the happy Birthday part carefully, then cut a large piece of cake placing it on a plate, then grabbed a soda opening up the can I gulped it down my throat then let out a loud burp. Taking a table-spoon I started stuffing my mouth with cake while thinking that I haven’t been to the gym for months now, I am 5’8 already, and my current weight is 55Kg, I need to start with my gym subscription as soon as I reach Germany. My appetite is reducing due to gaining weight, before I could have completed the whole cake within 15 minutes, but now, I think I would be able to finish only half of it. After having my snack break, I washed the dishes, then locked the house. “Time to spend some money” I thought to myself before walking down the street. Ever since I got hit by the car, I have been thinking about getting tattoos on my arms, one will be grim reaper and another angel of death. But the problem was, I got kicked out of tattoo studios because of being underage, anyways I spent my birthday getting a haircut, buying new pair of sport shoes, clothes, and a new white jacket from men section, then I visited a nearby ice-cream parlour and brought two ice-creams of different flavours and wandered around for some time before visiting the orphanage, after meeting up with the children, I finally returned home and cooked dinner in the evening.

To be continued...