I Thought I Was A Devil

Choon Hee Part 3

“Hello?....who is this?...” Choon skips a beat hearing the receiver’s voice, tears sparkled at the corner of her eyes, her lips trembled. She takes a deep breath mustering up her courage before speaking.

Choon Hee: H-Hey…..its….me…..(she gulps her spit trying to calm her mind)

Ari: C-Choon?....is that you….(her voice starts cracking) C-Choon….(she started crying over the call) Captain….

Choon Hee: (tears rolls down her cheeks) I….I am….sorry….(she cover her lips with her hand trying to control her emotions)

Ari: We missed you…..(she chokes while speaking)

Choon Hee: I am sorry…..(she says while wiping her tears) I….I had my reasons….(she says with great difficulty)

Ari: We know…. Everything. (She replies after a pause)

Choon Hee: W-What? (She stammers, her eyes widens in surprise hearing Ari’s words) H-How?

Ari: I think you don’t remember. That day, Hwa-Young saw everything….while you were getting harassed by that woman…. Hwa-Young opened the door and witnessed the tragedy, unfortunately after you left, that bitch started manipulating and threatening Hwa-Young to keep her mouth shut regarding the incident. She locked herself in her room for months and was traumatized; she refused to interact with anyone. We connected the dots, realizing that maybe….maybe it has something to do with you leaving out of blue. When we approached Hwa-Young and told her about your departure to another country, she broke down in tears and opened up about the incident…..(she gulps her spit before getting quiet)

Choon Hee: Ari….what happened then?....tell me! Please……(anxiety seized her) D-Does everyone hate me?.... Everyone blames me, right?.... They must think that I was….I did it …isn’t it?....I-I am sorry…I never wanted to hurt anyone…..I never knew Hwa-Young was going through so much because of me….I never knew that coach…..(she starts having a breakdown while her heart beats fast; I sighed before pulling her into a warm hug, trying to calm her)

Ari: Stop apologizing, Choon….it wasn’t your fault….it was our fault for not trying harder to reach out to you. It was the coach’s fault for being sexually interested in children. It was the school’s fault for hiring someone without checking their background. (She takes a deep breath) Don’t worry; that monster cannot reach out to you anymore. After learning everything, there was a considerable protest; many children stepped forward to reveal her crimes, and parents demanded she be kicked out of education institutions; she kept on denying charges, and initially, the school tried to support her, so the parents started withdrawing their children from that school, even we left. Finally, they came to their senses and kicked her out, and since then, she hasn’t been hired anywhere else. Unfortunately, we couldn’t take legal action against her because you weren’t here. But we tried our best, captain. (She says in a soft voice) I hope you found peace there and everyone accepted you for who you are. I hope you have great friends and are still playing football. I pray that you become a great player in the future. Thank you for being with us, and I'm sorry for not being there when you needed us the most.

Choon Hee: (a smile spreads over her lips as she starts crying again; this time, it was the tears of joy and relief) Thank you…….I am sorry for being selfish…..thank you so much…..I miss you all, and I hope everyone is doing well in their life….

Ari: Mhm…. Don’t worry, anyway, I need to go now; take care, captain. (She says before disconnecting the call)
Choon Hee: Take care…..(she says while wiping her tears before finally looking at me. There was a long silence between us, as she kept on staring at me quietly)

Me: (suddenly, guilt seized me. I tried making her open up her feelings for my own benefit, and now, I felt sick) Uhm….(I hesitated, feeling uncomfortable facing her eyes. Clearing my throat, I tried mustering up some courage to speak,) Let’s finish this race? It’s getting late; everyone will be worried by now. (I made sure she didn’t notice my inner turmoil while I changed the topic)
Choon Hee: Ah! (She exclaimed, snapping back to reality and realizing that it was already late afternoon) You are right; how is your injury? I forgot about it….I am sorry. (She says in a regretted tone)

Me: Everything is alright now, so don’t worry. (I smiled, standing up) Shall we? (She nods while standing beside me)

She wins the race, or maybe I let her, I don’t know. She rejoices with her athlete team; Victoria looks disappointed while Jules seems depressed, but Julie is really optimistic regarding the situation; she congratulates Choon while reassuring Victoria and Jules that it isn’t a big deal. Unlike me, who stood far away from them, she could be emotionally intense in such situations. I stood there, rethinking what I did. “You are selfish….a monster.” I blinked, staring at my side; there was ‘she,’ my younger self, standing and glancing at me with hatred. “Are you satisfied after making her cry?” I bite my lower lip looking down, my heart beating loudly, “just for your selfish reasons, you can go to any extent, isn’t it? Just like your father and Mrs. Smith, you are a demon!!!!”, she screamed at me, even though I knew it was just my imagination, each of her words stabbed like a dagger in my heart. I knew I was a devil, and my blood was acting up, and my hands were stained with blood; I am a vindictive and manipulative person, a cold-blooded bitch, who can devour anyone if it means benefit.

My hands trembled, and I wiped my sweat using my handkerchief; we cannot go back in time; there was no point sitting around and regretting your actions. Losing the race was the only thing I could do to ‘fix’ this mess I created.

Choon Hee: Anne?....why are you standing alone? (I looked up, finding Choon standing in front of me with a wide grin on her face)

Me: (I gave a faint smile at her) Hey….(I extended my hand) Congratulations on your win.
Choon Hee: (she stares at my hand for a second before shaking it) Thank you, but I hope (she says in a murmuring tone) next time you will play fairly instead of losing on purpose.

Me: (I blinked, surprised that she saw through me) I ….uhm….

Choon Hee: It’s okay, I understand, don’t feel guilty. (She pulls me in a warm hug) Thanks a lot, I will always be grateful to you for this day…..you don’t know how much burden you have reduced from my heart today…..thank you……(she says, patting my back) Cheer up already, you don’t look good being serious.

Me: (I laughed nervously) I am glad to be helpful.

Choon Hee: Hey….(she hesitates while staring at Julie, who is busy chatting with Victoria and Julie) I kinda liked her vibe, you know…..(she says, feeling mesmerized) She is so brilliant….I cannot express, there is something about her that’s attractive….I don’t know how to explain. (She sighed)

Me: I know. After all, she is Julie. (A soft wind starts blowing, the sun is setting in the background, the rays fall on Julie’s face, her brown eyes glow like honey, and the wind blows her hair as she laughs in joy even after a loss) She is an angel….(I murmured to myself)
Choon Hee: I have decided to join this team, for everyone’s sake…. Above all for myself. I am done running away from my problems. Thank you, Anne; you made me realize that the more we run from our past, the more it haunts us. (She takes a deep breath and then releases her stress)
Me: I am glad to be at your service. (I said while smirking)

Choon Hee: Oh….fuck me, how can I be so stupid! (She said, biting her lower lip, frustrated)

Me: Huh? What happened? (I glanced at her, feeling confused)

Choon Hee: I am so sorry! You were telling me about your problems, but I ended up making the conversation about myself. (She says while placing her hand on my shoulder) Go ahead; I am here to listen. (She said smiling)

Me: (my heart skipped a beat, I gulped my spit, my throat felt dry) It’s….. nothing…..just a minor issue. I am sorry for being a bother. Maybe some other day, I will tell you about it.

Choon Hee: You sure? (She asked concerned)

Me: mhm….I should get going now. (I said before starting to walk away from her)

Humans are so weird. We tend to think that our problems are the worst until we listen to others' stories; then, we start feeling that we are leading a much better life and choose to hide our pains, thinking it’s insignificant and that people will make fun of us if we try to open up regarding it. I was lost in my thoughts when Victoria approached me; she pats on my shoulder, looking at me sternly.

Victoria: Anne, stepping down from your next challenge is better. You have already embarrassed yourself enough. (She speaks in a demotivating manner)

Me: Don’t worry about me, Victoria. (I said mockingly) Congratulations on getting a new member for your team, though you don’t look entirely happy regarding it. (I shoved my hands inside my jacket’s pockets) Anne Elizabeth never backs down from a challenge. (I said coldly while staring down at her. She frowns before walking past me with arrogance; I could notice strain in our friendship but failed to understand why she was acting like that)

To be continued....