I Thought I Was A Devil

Season 4 Chapter 10

Greta: I heard regarding your grades in the last examination, congratulations for getting the first place in mathematics, I hope Victoria gets inspired by your success and try working harder. (She said with an air of authority and hint of mockery mixed with disappointment)

The dinning hall was a quiet place, people are their meals without a single words or sounds escaping from their lips. Only Greta had enough authority to start a conversation, other than that, any sorts of gossips were meaningless and impolite. The hall was filled with silence, everything looked perfectly disciplined, even small Veronica was filled with proper dinning table manners. The servants stood at the back waiting for refill orders or serving other dishes. At first glance, one might think that this is a perfectly disciplined family and culture but for me, who was sitting right there, having a meal in this atmosphere, something felt odd. The silence was suffocating, unlike my family where meals were usually accompanied with usual bickering, this was a new experience for me. Maybe this was better than arguments, yet I felt choked by the cold distance. I cannot explain with my words, but it felt like, you are eating together, yet you are alone.

Victoria’s face turned gloom hearing Greta’s critical remarks, while Veronica tried to cut her steak,  her tiny hands trembled, no one came forward to help the poor child, her shoulders were bent like there was huge burden of expectations on her back. Her eyes met with Greta, who glared at her, as if telling her to sit straight, Veronica hesitated for a second before correcting her posture.

Me: Thank you for your compliment madam Greta. But being honest, I would love to clarify that you are clearly underestimating your own daughter. (I smiled politely) Victoria has always inspired me, she is a strong, independent, smart,  disciplined and hardworking woman.

Victoria: (her face lit up with happiness) Anne….

Greta: (for a second there was a sense of pride over her face before it turned hard again) Hm…(she said) I hope you love the meal. (I stared at my salad and soup that was served to me because I cannot eat meat) Victoria said that you are vegetarian?....I am sorry but we don’t cook separate food, everyone is supposed to have the same meal so that the servants aren’t disturbed by hectic workload, I hope you understand. (She said while sipping a glass of champagne).

Me: Thank you for the meal, I don’t really mind salad and soup, food is food. (I said while smiling)

Greta: (she was ticked off hearing my reply as she continued with a hint of sarcasm) I never imagined that you would have proper table manners, knowing about your background, it is a surprise for me.

Me: (I am grateful to my parents for teaching me to be polite. (I said with slight criticism then elbowed Victoria hinting her to start speaking before I lose control)

Victoria: (she licked her lips hesitating then stammered) M-Mother…uhm….(she gulps her spit)

Greta: (she glared) either speak up or keep your mouth shut. You are disturbing the decorum.

Victoria: (she bit her lower lip) I am sorry….mother. Actually I have decided to rejoin the football club and need your permission. But don’t worry, I will work harder and get better marks in my tests and won’t let my extra curricular activities affect my education. (Her eyes sparkles with expectations)

Greta: (her expression turns stern as she puts down the champagne glass) Except for Victoria and Anne, everyone else leave. (She said as the servants hurried out of the door, Butler picked up Veronica in his arms taking the exit and closing the door carefully) I thought we were over this topic? (She said while turning her attention towards me) So what happened? (She said as if hinting that I am the problem)

Victoria: Mother….I really want to play football. I know I can manage both of them together. (She said pleading)

Greta: Shut up! I have already told you, either you listen to me, or I will kick you out of this house! (She said fuming)

Victoria: (tears rolled down from her eyes) Please…..mom….this is the first and last time, I am asking something from you….

Greta: Enough!! I don’t want to listen to your nonsense! I am already busy, and you have to ruin my mood even more! (She gets frustrated)

Me: (I sighed, this whole situation was pathetic) Ma’am. (I said in a calm and cold tone) I hope you can notice, that you are hurting your daughter’s feelings.

Greta: Who are you to poke your nose in our family matters? (She said raising her brow)

Victoria: Mom! (She looks at Greta in disbelief) Please! (Her voice was rebellious)

Me: You are right, I am a nobody, yet….there is a deep connection. (I hesitated) I understand Victoria and relate to her problems. I know how she feels and what she wants. She respects you, and loves you, that’s why she listen to your orders wholeheartedly but you on the other side, have you ever tried to reflect on what your daughters crave for? (I sighed) Victoria, can you leave us alone? I want to speak with your mother in private.

Victoria: (her eyes were moist) But Anne…..

Me: Trust me. (I smiled squeezing her hand)

Victoria: (she nods) Fine. (She says before leaving)

Me: (I turned my attention towards Greta) Ma’am, for you, this might feel like a stranger meddling into your family business but for me, this is for the sake of my ailing friend. That poor child has already went through a lot because of her father, please don’t increase her sufferings.

Greta: (her jaw hardened) Don’t you dare compare me with that spineless fellow!! (Her voice was filled with sorrow and hatred) Unlike him, whatever I am doing is for my children’s well-beings!

Me: I don’t doubt your gesture….but (I took a deep breath) sometimes, life is not how we imagine. It’s not that easy, we might think that we are doing the right thing for our beloved ones, only to end up harming them unknowingly. Your thoughts are right, but methods are wrong. Victoria is a human, you cannot put barriers in her dreams, let her live, let her discover herself, let her understand the hardships and sufferings, let her grow and spread her wings. ”on’t crush her ambition.

Greta: This is how my father raised me. Are you questioning my father’s teachings? (She frowns) Look at me, how successful I am in my life just because of his teachings. If not because of his iron-fist, I would have ended up playing stupid violin and losing my focus. (She laughs sarcastically) Victoria should be grateful, her mother trusts and encourages her, unlike my father…who would rather give away all his properties to a stranger man than believing his own daughter’s capabilities. (she said bitterly) Do you have any idea, how it feels when your parents belittle you because of your gender? (She rubs her forehead)

Me: No, I don’t. My father trusts me more than he trusts my brothers. He never differentiated between genders. So I must say that I am privileged in that matter. (I sighed) But this isn’t about me. Are you happy with the way your father raised you? Is the young Greta satisfied that her father snatched away her aspirations and dolled her up to be the perfect commodity that can be sold as a business transaction?

Greta: You!! (She starts losing her composure, and I knew that I was crossing the line but something told me that I shouldn’t stop now)

Me: I know that you don’t want Victoria to despise you, but your actions are hurting both of your daughters. I think you should take a step back and reflect your actions, putting yourself in their shoes. Do you truly want your daughters to turn into mindless dolls?.... remember the little child who craved to play violin but couldn’t fulfill her wishes because of adults’ selfishness, don’t let the history repeat itself, or else….you will be the first one to regret. You are not your father, you don’t need to walk on the same path that he did. (I smiled) I know someone who was like you, tied up with barriers, but he broke free and choose to lead a life filled with dreams instead of turning into a machine. It’s not too late even for you, now that there is no one to hold you down, stop letting those ghosts bother you.

To be continued....