I Thought I Was A Devil

Jules Part 2

I pressed the chilled ice-cream covered in wrapper against Jules’ cheek as she flinched instinctively looking at me a bit annoyed, her eyes were reddish and swollen due to crying for hours. She took the ice cream from my hand and put it against her eyes to reduce the swelling. I was returning from my evening run when I noticed her sitting on the bench alone in the park crying, it is already late evening, I offered her some water before going to buy ice cream. Sitting beside her, I took a deep breath knowing it will be a drag of a night.

Me: Do you have a cigarette? (I asked casually

She rummaged through her Jean’s pocket finally taking out a cigarette offering it to me, taking the cigarette, I pressed it in between my lips, while leaning towards her face, our eyes met, I could hear her heartbeat increasing, and her warm breath touching against my skin, she looked flustered trying to look away. I was confused by her reaction but choose to ignore it, ‘light’ I said, she sighed in relief taking out her lighter and putting the fire against the cigarette.

Jules: I didn’t know, that you smoke?...(she looked curious)

Me: (I rolled my eyes moving away from her, as I spread my legs relaxing while inhaling a long puff then removing the cigarette with my left hand by putting it in between my index and middle fingers, I exhaled the smoke slowly from my mouth relaxing, I put my right arm stretched on the backrest staring at the stars) Do you, even know anything about me? (I said monotonously)

Jules: (she opened the ice cream wrapper sighing) I guess.

Me: (I kept staring at the beautiful sky filled with stars) sorry…I didn’t know which flavour you prefer, that’s why I brought chocolate….hope you don’t have allergy.

Jules: I don’t…(she said while licking the bar then choked due to suppressed tears as she gets emotional again…water dropping from her eyes) Why….why after everything that I did to you….even after knowing my past….why are you still here…. Helping me out? (She pressed her lips against each other tightly while having hiccups)

Me: Ah….so you knew that Hazel…(I glanced at her for a second) Nevermind, I don’t trust rumours spread from rotten mouths.

After all, even my mother is a victim of rotten rumours spread by my paternal grandmother which made my family suffer for ages, but I can’t tell this to her so I choose to shut my mouth. Jules hugged me tightly as the ice cream feel on the ground, I sighed throwing away the remaining cigarette making sure to not hurt her, I bite my lower lip frustrated as I hate when people touch me affectionately, I looked away while patting her head reluctantly as she cried loudly her hands still wrapped around my body.

Jules: I knew….because only she knows about Tom….but somehow our opponent team players discovered about him…who else would betray me? I trusted her so much! (She cried more as her snot falls on my jacket)

Me: (I pushed her away wiping my jacket with my handkerchief feeling disgusted) Gross…. Don’t ever touch me without permission again…I hate hugs.

Jules: Whatever Hazel said…. About my family…..it’s true. (She said hesitating) I know…you would think that…am just trying to protect her….m-my mother…s-she….a-actually…m-mur….(she looks down feeling embarrassed)

Me: So….is Tom….your boyfriend? (I already knew what she was trying to say…I didn’t feel like putting her in tight spot so I thought of bringing her back to the current problem)

Jules: He is a 5 year old boy! (She looked flustered)

Me: (I have her a judging look) I never thought that you are pe- (she covered my lips with her hands, her cheeks bright red as she stared in my eyes like ‘will you shut up?’)

Jules: H-He is like my little brother, you dumbass!!! (She pouts removing her hands) what the fuck, how are you still alive with your nasty mouth?

Me: (putting my right hand index finger against my right cheek while tilting my head slightly and giving out a smile, I tried to look as cute as possible then said in a soft voice) Just like that. (Winked at her)

Jules: (she cringed as her while body shivers due to ick) Gross Woman….CAN YOU BE SERIOUS FOR A SECOND??? (People stared at us thinking we are some weirdos before walking away) Look….(she takes out her wallet from her pocket showing me a photograph of her standing beside a woman in her 30s and her son who looked around the age of 5) This is Tommy and his mother Dr Emma…I met Dr Emma when she was pregnant with Tommy in her womb, she lost her husband in a car accident…and I felt attached towards them.... it was like a soft spot…(she bites her lower lip) Even if my father was an abuser…. Alcoholic and Gambler…..he was still my father….so…. somewhere I understood….their pain…..(she took a deep breath trying to calm down as she choked again) if something happens to him…because of me….I can never forgive myself ….. (She squeezed my hands tightly putting pressure on them, as her warm tears dropped on my skin) Should I listen to them….and back-out from the match?

Me: And? Let them win?... If it was me…I would have ignored their threats and moved forward. Such threats are mostly empty words to scare your guts. (I said in a serious tone)

Jules: W-What if it’s not…empty threats? (She said shivering)

My heart skipped a beat as I forgot to breathe hearing her words….Deja Vu…that day’s incident flashed in front of my eyes…Hana sis’s weak body laying on the hospital bed covered in blood….for a second instead of Hana sis there was this little boy from Jules photograph….’How can humans be so selfish?....’ for their own personal gain they can harm even innocent children…. Putting my hand on Jules’ leg, I patted once trying to reassure her, as I smiled at her.

Me: I promise….that nothing will happen to him…so rest assure and give your 100% in the match. (My voice was soft and warm)

Jules nodded wiping her tears, there was a faint smile over her lips, she rested her head on my shoulder, I promised myself that I won’t let Jules go through the same situation that I did when I was 8….and I promised myself that I won’t let Dr Emma face the same pain that Hana sis’ parents went through because of me.

To be continued....