I Thought I Was A Devil

Jules Part 1

[Trigger warning]

“Anne…how could you do this to me?...how could you live peacefully after ruining my life!!” “M-Monster!!!” “her mother is a slut” “she has devil’s blood running in her body” I woke up with a jolt, how many nights have it been?...I put a sleeping pill in my mouth washing it down my throat with water, my clothes were wet with sweat, the nightmares are getting worse like my insomnia, there was dark circles under my eyes…my hair messy and the room was in ruin, everything kept in haphazard manner, it’s been two weeks since I got suspended, my parents have almost paid for the damages, meanwhile I remained locked inside my room, hardly going out and avoiding human interaction at all cost…sometimes there are faint knocking sounds outside my door, there are footsteps tapping against the floor waiting for my response then walking away after loosing patience.

Unable to fall asleep, I picked up my mother’s picture book and started reading it with my blurry eyes…The book was crumpled and the inks were fade by now, that day after waking up with a nightmare, I had a panic attack, my head stopped working, and I felt like I will go insane if I don’t hurt myself, I wanted to come out of the stress by inducing external pain on my body. Picking up the knife, I walked in the bathroom filling cold water in the bathtub, taking off my clothes I sat down in the tub, as the cold water hit my body….the water soon started turning red with fresh blood flowing out of my arms against the knife…I sat there relaxing enjoying the pain that helped me clear my mind…I craved for a cigarette as I touched my dry lips with fingers drenched with blood….I gave out a laughter while rubbing my face with my blood remembering their terrified faces while I thrashed them, Jules must have understood by now, that she has been picking on the wrong person. Washing myself, I wrapped the towel around my naked body, even pain was becoming numb no matter how hard I try to feel the sensation.

I stood in front of my desk, staring at the picture book that was given by my mother, opening the book I looked through it, the story of the isolated angel who ran away from heaven and ended up unsealing a fallen angel who was sealed inside her …during her adventure the young angel made friends with humans and turned the villain into a softy, “Bullshit” my mother really felt that I would be inspired by such an unrealistic plot? Cringe, this was the first time that I actually read the story properly and felt like vomiting, what was my mother thinking while reading out this imaginative stereotype plot of good vs evil to the children…why am I the inspiration for the hero? If I were in place of the angel, I would have shown middle finger to others problems and asked them to pay money if they need help. Opening the drawer, I took out matchbox, and walked towards the bathroom holding the book and matchbox in my hands, sitting at the edge of the bathtub, I opened the tap, while lighting up the matchstick and bringing it closer to the lower end of the book. The corner started heating up soon catching fire, as the papers slowly turned black due to the flame, I watched it with a sadistic smile…but before any major damage could happen to the book, I dropped it in the tub filled with water as the fire gets extinguished.

The faint knock at the door brought me back to present, I didn’t even realise when I drifted off to flashback while staring at the crumpled pages, closing the book, I put it under my pillow, while opening the door, Hazel was standing outside, there was a friendly smile on her face. I have been avoiding this bitch since that day’s incident but for how long can you avoid your fate?

Me: (I sighed looking at her) What? (Raised my brow)

Hazel: Meet me tomorrow behind our school…I need to tell you something. (She seemed in a hurry, there was sweat drops on her forehead, and fear in her eyes, I couldn’t make-out if it was another drama or she is for real)

I gave a slight nod before shutting the door at her face. Next day, Hazel was already waiting for my behind the school building, the sun was about to set as the birds were returning back to their nests, the sky was filled with beautiful orange colour, Hazel stood in a manner that shadow covered half of her upper face making her expressions unreadable. She held my hands excited squeezing them tightly.

Hazel: Anne! We can finally get our revenge! (She said almost crying) I discovered Jules’ secret!

Me: How? (I said while withdrawing my hands with a straight face)

Hazel: (stepping forward she hesitated for a while before finally opening her mouth) Uhm…yesterday night … Jules came to my room drunk….I guess one of her lover provided her drink…

Me: (I rubbed my forehead frustrated hearing that) how can she be so careless…anyways…. Continue.

Hazel : (she gulps her spit while I leaned against the wall folding my arms and closing my eyes waiting patiently) S-She s-said….her m-mother is a murderer…. (she gets overexcited almost shouting) while being intoxicated, she confessed that her mother murdered her father, such a messed up family she has. (She giggles while thinking about it)

Me: (I grabbed her by her throat chocking her while staring at her coldly) If there is a single lie about what you are saying, I will….kill you….(I said in a low murderous voice before leaving her throat) Give me the details.

Hazel: (she coughed while rubbing her bruised throat) Are you crazy?! I am telling you the truth! Jules’ father was an alcoholic gambling addict, he even tried to sell his own daughter’s kidney! And her mother murdered her father and ended up in jail. She is still in jail, Jules grew up with her cousin brother in her aunt’s house! (She looked at me) think, how much fun it would be ruining her reputation when everyone will discover that the school bully is actually a vulnerable girl who is running away from her past…Think after ruining our life, she has been living peacefully, finally it’s our turn. (She said placing her hands over my shoulders) Anne …take your revenge. Destroy her, so that she would never stand on her feet again!

Me: (I smiled patting her cheeks softly making her confused) So…this was the big news? I pity Jules, you are the perfect definition why some people prefer having enemies over friends.

Hazel: Why are you giving me lectures…when it was Jules who betrayed me at first….I thought you are just like me…. Someone who wants to get revenge. (She narrowed her eyes while looking at me in disbelief)

Me: My dear Hazelnut..(I said scoffing) I am surely a vindictive person …but I don’t use such weaknesses to destroy a person’s reputation….am more into digging up dirt. (I leaned towards her ear) like I did yours …by hacking into your computer….you are pretty brave selling out valuable information about our football team to our opponent school. Is revenge worst bringing your own school down?....(there was slight pity in my voice) Men comes and goes…doesn’t mean you will ruin yourself over someone who easily cheats on you.

Hazel: (her heartbeats loudly as she gulps her spit coughing) H-How…. H-how did you…

Me: I also know who spread the rumours that day about Jules. (I looked in her eyes with blank expression) Had fun using me?

Hazel’s lips trembled slightly as she turned around to escape almost falling on the ground, but somehow managed to save herself while disappearing from my sight. I rolled my eyes frustrated and was about to leave when I heard some commotion, one of the voices I recognised was of Jules, she was arguing having an heated argument with some four to five girls, few words that registered in my head were ‘Football match’, ‘money’, ‘betray’, I waited for them to leave while hiding behind a tree.

Female voice: Jules….if you don’t listen to us, we will make sure that you regret this day. Don’t forget about Tom. (She said while threatening Jules)

To be continued...