I Thought I Was A Devil

Season 7 Chapter 13

[Trigger Warning]

I licked my dry lip, as I stood in front of the club room, today was my final chance, I needed to change their mind before it was too late. I have to make them understand that football is a team game, and they can’t place their bet on only one player, they need to realize their mistake and start working on it immediately. I thought everything through my head before taking a deep breath, and opening the club room door, my heart pounded loudly wondering how they would react, only to find the whole room empty. I was taken aback, none of them bothered to show up for the practice.

Me: Where are they? (I murmured to myself)

Julie: They left. (She said standing behind me)

Me: (I turned around staring at her in surprise) Left? (She nods) Where?

Julie: They had some work and left early. (She smiles masking her disappointment)

Me: Left early?....(I murmured, as my throat felt dry) You didn’t try to stop them? (I clenched my fist staring down at Julie)

Julie: (she hesitates and rubs her arm feeling uncomfortable) I tried, but they had some work so I couldn’t force them.

Me: (I scoffed while my eyes were fixed on her) You tried? (Then my face became cold) Useless. (I murmured before walking off)

Neither did I care about her feelings, nor did I bother to look back. How can a captain be so useless that she can’t even keep her team under control? I could hear Maria and Jules calling my name, but their voices fell on deaf ears, as I continued walking aimlessly, my chest felt tight, my vision was blurry, I could hear my heart making loud noises, my throat felt dry, my thoughts dizzy. The simple question “What’s next?” echoed incessantly in my mind, amplifying my sense of defeat and uncertainty. I had no answer to those questions in my head, deep down I knew that I have fucked up badly and there was no turning back now.

After dinner, I found myself in the kitchen, standing beside Naomi as we prepared for the next morning. The rhythmic sound of chopping vegetables filled the room, but my mind was far from the task at hand. I kept my hands busy, slicing through carrots and onions, yet my thoughts spiraled elsewhere.

I could feel the opportunity I had worked so hard for slipping through my fingers. Despite all my efforts and dedication, it seemed unfair that I was the one being pushed out of the team. Why should I be penalized for their lethargy? The question gnawed at me, growing louder with every chop of the knife. My brain felt foggy, as if a heavy cloud had settled over my thoughts. I continued to chop, my frustration simmering just below the surface, mingling with the smell of fresh vegetables.

Me: Seeeeh (I hissed slightly, instinctively withdrawing my hand as I realized the chopper had sliced through the tip of my finger. A sharp, stinging pain followed as fresh blood oozed from the wound. I stood there, staring at my finger, emotionless, the pain grounding me and snapping me back to reality.)

Naomi: Anne! (She grabs my hand) What is wrong with you?! (She fixed her eyes on me, while frowning out of concern) Why are you so distracted?....(she sighs) Go back to your room, and tend your wound. I will take care of the remaining chores.

Me: But….(I insisted)

Naomi: Now! (She says sternly)
I stood frozen for a moment, Naomi’s words ringing in my ears. The sharp pain from my finger mixed with the emotional turmoil swirling inside me, making it hard to think clearly. I nodded silently and left the kitchen, feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over me as I made my way to my room.

Once inside, I sat down on the edge of my bed, staring blankly at my injured finger. The blood had slowed, but the sting was a constant reminder of my scattered thoughts. I grabbed a bandage from the first-aid kit on my nightstand and wrapped it around the wound, trying to ignore the frustration gnawing at my insides.

As I finished tending to my finger, I leaned back against the headboard, closing my eyes in a futile attempt to push away the thoughts that had been haunting me all day. The weight of the situation with the team, the pressure from Coach Aoi, and the feeling of being on the verge of losing everything—I couldn’t escape it.

I opened my eyes, staring up at the ceiling. The silence of my room felt suffocating, amplifying the chaos in my mind. I needed to do something, anything, to clear my head. I thought to myself before getting out of my bed and grabbing my dumbbells, as I started exercise, to divert my mind. As I pushed my body, there was a knock at the door. Opening the door, I noticed Jules standing there with lighter and cigarettes.

Jules: Wow, you looking hawt. (She grins staring at my sweaty body)

Me: (I hardened my jaw and glared at her) Stop talking nonsense, and tell me what you need.

Jules: Jeez. (She sighs then pushes a cigarette in my hand) Thought you will need it. (She smiles)

Me: Thanks. (I said sighing before walking towards the balcony, as I turned back and looked at her) Accompany me. (I said before pressing the cigarette in between my lips and placing my hands in my pockets. She smiles before quietly following me to the balcony, as she helps me light the cigarette. We stood in the balcony enjoying the silence, while my mind paced through various thoughts) Do you think that I deserve this? (I said as I felt defeated)

Jules: (she shook her head in disagreement) No.

Me: (I took a long puff before taking the cigarette out of my lips) Tomorrow, Coach will kick me out of the team. (I said with a defeated smile)

Jules: Do you have any plan? (She places her hand on my shoulder to reassure me, but I shook my head quietly.) Don’t worry Anne, Everything will be fine. (She smiles faintly)

Me: (As I stared blankly at the bustling street below, her consoling words faded into the background. Ashes from my cigarette drifted down to the balcony, unnoticed as I bit my lower lip in thought. A smirk tugged at the corner of my mouth, and I murmured softly.) Eureka….(The word slipped out just before I brought the cigarette back to my lips, taking another slow, contemplative puff.) I have a plan, where I don’t need to get kicked of the team and at the same time, those bitches will learn their lessons. (I said fixing my eyes on Jules.) I just need to back out from this particular match.

Jules: (she looks at me in disbelief) B-Back out? But Anne, will they let you? What will you tell them? Why are you backing out at the last moment?

Me: (I smirked moving my fingers through my hair) I have a plan. I just need it to work.

Jules: (a chill runs down her spine) I don’t like the sound of it, you sure you won’t do anything dangerous? (She asks concerned.)

Me: (I grinned) Don’t worry, everything is under control. (I slapped her back reassuring her.)
The next morning, we stood in front of the staircase, as Jules glared at my face.

Jules: Didn’t you say, that everything was under your control? (Her eyes were fixed on me) Then what is the meaning of this? (She said in a whispering tone)

Me: Part of my plan. (I grinned looking down at the stairs)

Jules: Anne this is too risky, if something happens to you, Naomi will kill me. (She says getting stressed.)

Me: Don’t worry, I just need to break few bones. Then no one will question my decision. ( took a deep breathe.)

Jules: Anne, I am really scared, what if something goes wrong? (She gulps her spit)

Me: Jules, isn’t broken bones better than broken dreams? (I said smiling, and without giving myself another moment to hesitate, I lifted my foot and deliberately misstepped. My body pitched forward, gravity taking over as I tumbled down the stairs. The world spun around me, the sharp pain of each impact barely registering as I braced myself for the inevitable.)

But the final thud wasn’t as painful as I expected, even if there was metallic taste of blood in my mouth and sharp pain on my body, it felt like I landed on something soft. As I opened my eyes and tried touching the floor, but instead it was a broad chest, as I heard a familiar voice.

Gouenji: If you are done, can you get off from me? (He said in a cold tone.)

Me: (I jolt, as I stood up, noticing him laying on the ground) Wait….What are you doing here?

Naomi: Anne?! How did you fell off the stairs?! (She says hurried towards me.)

Jules: Anne! (She hurries down the stairs. As I stood there confused and bleeding, as my mind froze unable to grasp the situation.)

To be continued....