Thank god he let me go. I practically bolt to the restroom and into a stall and lock it. I made sure no one was in the restroom when i walked in the door. i dive my hand into my pocket and take the blade that was still inside and just sit there for a second or two. Thinking. Staring at my wrist that's already cover in old scars and new scabs frome last night. I think about my grades, my mother, kacchan. Kacchans words...the words he spits out without thinking.
I feel tears start to form in my eyes as my chest has the familiar feeling of sinking. Feeling like someone is pushing so incredibly hard on it, like my ribs are going to brake. Without wasting another second i take the blade i press it down into my skin. Feeling the blade start to carve into my skin. The pain that follows after is horrendous..but somehow so so addicting... The first 3 always hurt the most, but as soon as the blood starts russhing to my arm making it so red whilest forming droplets oozing out
Of the carvings ive made i start to calm down, sink into my pain, feeling all the thoughts start drowning away , dissapearing. Bringing peace.
But ofcourse thats only for a minute or two then it dissapears and the comforting pain starts reapearing again. And the voices continue-
ANOTHER. ADD ANOTHER!
YOU DESERVE IT YOU DESERVE TO FEEL THE PAIN. YOU ARE USELESS AND UGLY WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER LIKE SOMEONE...NO SOMETHING LIKE YOU. ADD ANOTHER, THATS NOT ENOUGH AND WE BOTH KNOW IT.
THINK ABOUT THE PLEASURE AFTER THINK ABOUT HOW GOOD IT FEELS. IT WILL HELP . IT WILL HEAL YOU. IT WILL MAKE THE PAIN DISSAPEAR. JUST ONE MORE...
"Just one more...".suddenly i snap out of the trance and relize i have been repeating. These words over and over ,mumbling them to myself as i convince myself that each one will be the last. But it never is. It never stops. I look down at my arm and see countless of cuts, each pouring out red. The bathroom fills with a metal smell. No- its more of a koper smell...like pennies. I never really noticed it until now. I unlock the door and peak out to see if im alone. No one is here. Great .
I walk over to the sink and start to rinse off my arm with cold water, it stings but I've gotten used to it by now. I take some bandages out of my pocket that i stuffed in there before i walked out the house, i started wrapping my arm. Most people find it hard to do by yourself but I've grown quite familiar with it by now, im pretty good at it. While im at it i wash my face with cold water to calm down my puffed eyes frome crying.i wipe up the red droplets on the floor tiles with toilet paper and gathered all my things as i walk out of the restroom .
I don't know how it happened but when i walked out the restroom i immediately bumped straight into Kacchan that was walking by.
"HEY WATCH IT NERD. honestly look where tf you're walking! Now get out of my way your goin to make me late for class you lousy retard."
Oh yeah hes right! Next period is starting. Shit hopefully i make it in time, i dont want to cause anymore suspision to aizawa.
I walk as fast as i can And take my seat. Just in time. As Mr Aizawa walks in i can feel his eyes gazing at me. I ignore it and keep my head down.
YOU ARE READING
" i'm so sorry deku."
FanfictionDeku has been masking his feelings for a long time and hiding his biggest secret, but recently things have gotten much worse and the thoughts have grown louder. Until 1 day bakugou accidentally finds out izuku's secret and everything he thought he...
