She turned her weak body to find where the voice was coming from, and her tears immediately ran down her face while she repeated the words that she'd been keeping for so long with a whisper-shout voice.
"I HATE YOU."
"I HATE YOU."
"I HATE YOU."
Plea...
I woke up with swollen and puffy eyes, but I'm not surprised by it anymore since I always get the same result every time I cry hard before going to sleep. But my dream last night looked so real. Every time I cry before I go to bed, I will surely have a dream of Jimin and my daughter, but last night was different, the way I touch him in my dream and the way he hugs me seem true. But maybe I was just carried away too much by my emotions.
It was just another dream.
I brushed away my thoughts and walked to the bathroom to take a quick shower.
I left Korea 15 years ago because I couldn't take the pain that my heart was experiencing after I found out that I couldn't really have the man I loved for myself. I was too weak to accept that he was already owned by someone else. I try to turn my eyes blind and pretend that I didn't see anything, but every time I see Jimin, I also see that woman's smile. I can't help but think that she is laughing at me, mocking me, and telling me that she has the man that I can't have. I left home with a heavy heart. I left not because I'm giving up and accepting that she wins and I lost.
I left because I wanted to hold the trophy on my own. I decided to leave Jimin and my daughter before Jimin made a decision and asked me for a divorce. I can't lose this game with that woman. I am sure I will win her over in a legal way. I will be the one and only MRS. Park Jimin and her will stay as mistresses. I know it was a wrong and selfish decision to leave my daughter, but Jimin loves Minji so much that she is the only thing he looks for first thing in the morning and even when he arrives home. Minji is also a daddy's girl, and I don't want their father-daughter relationship to be destroyed by me. I know Minji will hate me for leaving her and her father, but I'm hoping she will understand me in the future.
The day I saw Jimin with another woman, my heart broke into millions of pieces. I don't know how to handle the pain in my heart, I become crazy day by day. I can't stop crying once I enter the music room, which is the only place in the house where, for sure, no one can hear me, even if I cry louder because of my pain. Jungkook and the music room are my comforts. I imprisoned myself in the music room while Jungkook stood like the prison guard.
It was so hard for me every day, where in the morning I pretended to be fine in front of my daughter, Mrs. Jeon, and other maids, especially to my daughter's teacher and my co-parent. In front of everyone, I showed them that everything is good—me and my daughter, me and my husband—but when I came back home after sending Minji to her nursery school, I went straight to the music room with Jungkook following behind, and there I never stopped crying until I fell asleep. I imprisoned myself in that room and skipped so many meals. Jungkook did everything to help me, he force-fed me like a baby and scolded me every day in that room. I was so depressed, and that room witnessed everything, even those times I attempted to take my own life.
And Jungkook has saved me so many times.
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