I'm here (English Version)

I had say no

-------------------- Garcia's pov --------------------

She was making a big racket in the hallway. I knew it was her right away from the way I heard her coming up the stairs. Confirmation came from her increasingly loud voice and the pounding at her door. What the hell had happened in that mine this afternoon? What had he done or said? Damn it Jay! My blood had frozen to know they were there together and alone. If they had waited for us it would have been fine, but they had shut down communications and I hadn't been able to talk to them. And yes I had warned him, I didn't even want to bring him, and he knew that well. In any case she now had it all figured out. Maybe she didn't have certainty yet but she was clearly looking for answers. I was convinced that at any moment she was going to kick his door down. Not that he didn't deserve it, I would have done that too in his place. In fact no, maybe I would have done worse. We were similar in character, she and I. I had told him it was a bad idea to come here with me, I should have listened to my instincts and left him in his office full of computers. But I hadn't been able to say no to him, because I didn't really want him, I could understand him, just as I could understand her now. Plus the feeling of not knowing whether someone you love is alive or dead I knew. I knew it well, it had been like that for me when my sister had been kidnapped. I felt like I was going crazy, locked in limbo with no answers. Where was she? Was she alive? Was she well or in pain? I saw her everywhere, awake and in my nightmares. But I had finally found her again. Or rather I had found her body and moved on.

Grieved, defeated, bent over, but I had gotten my answers and my revenge thanks to that little boy not much younger than me, a computer genius. He and I had a common enemy at the time only he didn't know it yet.
The same people who had threatened her and were after him were the ones who had killed my sister. They were ruthless people who weren't messing around. How had he managed to get a hold of them? He had hacked into the wrong system and discovered dozens and dozens of files concerning their activities. He had sent everything to us anonymously. But we were the FBI after all and we knew full well who he was and who they were. He had simply gotten there before us with his skills. And I needed him to finish the job. I needed his great skills, that's why we were looking for him and certainly not to arrest him as he thought. Yes, of course he would have consequences but in the end he would be acquitted and I would make sure of that myself. I promised myself that if he helped me, I would help him. There was great excitement in the FBI when the video came out that pointed to a hacker involved in the disappearance of one Hannah Donfort. I knew it was him, we'd been after him for a while, and I knew if they got him I wouldn't get justice for my sister soon. Because he was damn good and he was going to give us a run for our money if his skills served them. My sister was little more than a little girl, a beautiful little girl, who had rejected the wrong person. That happens when you are born in certain neighborhoods, but here she had not rejected just any man. My sister and her courage deserved justice.

When I heard that outside the mine we had caught him trying to escape I exulted but unfortunately for me and also for him, it was not us. Uniforms had been missing for so long that I didn't even remember it anymore. They had mingled with us, but there were so many of us that we couldn't all know each other. So I lost it again and thought forever. It was only after a raid that someone decided to sell information. I found out that this boy was still alive and now I also knew where he was. They would never allow him to escape or die, it was obvious, I knew they would keep him alive and use him for their own purposes. I also knew of that girl's existence. He would protect her in any way, I imagined, I had read their chats, they were in love and would use her as blackmail to make him work for them because he could obscure their activities and movements, he could create false identities, he was a useful resource and they had to make him pay for his mistake. Every now and then they would show him a picture. A picture of her. And they would warn him about what a horrible end they were going to make of her not before they actually hurt her or hurt him for the sake of reminding him not to do shit like contacting her. He told me this himself. I can't imagine being in a similar situation myself. It was because of that tip that I found him and saved him from those people. A brilliant guy. A nice guy tried in body and soul. He was not people who used velvet gloves. The only visible scar is on his face, near his eye. But he has many others under his clothes, besides the ones on his soul, and these were always the worst.

I think just the thought of her kept him alive and kept him from going crazy. It made me so tender when we found him. You couldn't approach him without him flinching, as if every hand was there just to beat him. He would flinch at everything, whether you spoke suddenly without being noticed beforehand or simply handed him a cup of coffee. His senses of self-defense were at an extreme level. I took him to stay with me, because he was not capable of being left alone and because I did not find it at all fair that he should suffer any more, perhaps locked up waiting for them to clear him of everything. I took full responsibility for him, as if he were a brother to be protected. At night I lost count of the number of times he woke up gasping for air or woke up screaming. So I would talk to him, sit on the bed and talk to him without getting close. He learned over time to let me hold him and understand that everything was okay. We did a lot of work together, he deserved to overcome his trauma and get back to life. But I never thought of myself as a better person than those people. I didn't beat him, of course. I didn't deprive him of sleep or food. I didn't threaten him. But I needed him, and in any case he wouldn't be safe until we got every last one of them anyway. And neither would she. I also used her as a kind of blackmail. Even though I didn't know her. I used to tell him that she would not be out of danger. It was the truth and I used it yes. But I also promised him that I would give him a new identity and freedom if he would help me. He could be who he wanted and go where he wanted. Even to her. We had not done our calculations right and it took time before we succeeded. He stayed there, with me, in the shadows. Just to protect that girl. Love makes people do crazy things, even lose themselves and their loved one. I found him at first the name Jay, it resembled his real name, so he wouldn't completely lose who he was. By the time we got them it had been years, which added to the years he was in their hands, led him to decide never to contact her again and never to use his real identity. He knew well where she was and what she had become, he was proud of her, but he did not want to cause her any more suffering. He imagined that she had suffered when he disappeared into thin air, because he too had suffered.

However, when they warned us that they were sending two of us to get that laptop, he wouldn't listen to reason. He wanted to come with me.
" No. Get it out of your head Jay. I know what it would mean to you."
"Amanda you owe me. I just wish to see her at least once in person. I swear I'm not going to tell her who I am. I just want to see her, not destabilize her life."
Could I say no to him? Could I after all he had been through? After helping me? No, I couldn't. I loved him, very much, and I owed him and her too.
"All right. But Jay...please. Don't complicate things. Remember your own words. I have told you before that you should have gone to her to tell her the truth. And in your place I would have done it already. But you made me promise to stop you so that she would not suffer. I am your friend and I love you." I tried many times to convince him to deal with this, but each time I hit a wall. He did not want to cause her suffering, end of story.
It had to end with the delivery of that laptop. He would see her and we would leave. He saw her with him twice, with what I assume is his partner, that really really hot bartender at that club he wanted to go to. Had I not seen him with her I probably would have allowed myself a diversion with someone like that and I usually always get what I want. I saw him Jay slamming into her to get the excuse to see her up close. Did he really think I wouldn't notice? She was really beautiful that night. She had character, she didn't let people walk all over her. I really liked her as a person and I liked her as an agent. With her intuition she had saved that little girl. Maybe my sister would have been saved too if she had found a woman like that in her path when she was taken away. And I liked his dog even more. I thought at least he would be able to keep them away. But then those two kids decided to disappear.
She is screaming a lot and her voice is shaking. I don't want him to go through trouble, he doesn't deserve it, but he's waking everyone up. I have to go out and convince him to open the door for her. He owes it to her. And I owe it to him.