I'm here (English Version)

You have to do the shopping

All that I cannot be
Is all that you should be
And that's the reason I need you here
So listen to this now

Come home
Come home
   
                     Come Home - OneRepublic

        
I stood in the middle of the road, it was a desperate gesture and closed my eyes as I waited for the impact. But I hoped he would stop in time because the road was narrow and one-way. He could not have avoided me. To hell with the moving car, I could hear it coming but I would have let him run me over if it would have made me listen. He braked at the last second perhaps convinced that I would move out of instinct, I felt his hand punch the steering wheel in a nervous gesture as he let out an expletive that went past the closed windows. I put both hands on the hood, my wet hair spread in disarray, leaned forward and looked at him. No, I wasn't going to let him leave like that. He rolled down the window, he was pissed, I could see it in his eyes, I could hear it in the tone of his voice. He sounded like the same guy who had yelled at me all those years ago. But I wasn't that girl, not anymore, I was a woman who knew what she wanted, I wasn't going to leave in tears. Not this time.
The car turned off.

"What the heck are you doing Hailey??? Damn it! Are you trying to get yourself killed? Find another way! Get out of the front! Now!!! Don't make me get off, don't make me move your weight!!!"

He was smoking. He had quit for years. He had quit because he said he didn't like it anymore but I knew he quit for me. Because I didn't like him. Now and then it's true, a few times a year I would light one for Richy but I didn't smoke it. I never asked him to quit, he had done it on his own and now he had taken it up again. Another sign that by now he would never have to deal with me again. He was reclaiming his life but it was okay if he was happy. Only I needed to tell him the unresolved things. My unresolved things. Then I was going to let him off the hook.

"No! I will not move until you listen to me," I raised my voice so that he could hear me over the roar of the rain.

"I don't have time, I have a flight leaving soon. I already told you, you can call me if you have something to tell me! Now get out of the way!"

Can you call me? Again? Fuck you again, why was he doing that, damn stubborn, damn him!
He wouldn't stop, I knew it. I knew that look, that voice. Yell all you want Phil, I won't cry, I know if I do you won't stop to comfort me this time. We weren't what we used to be.

He started the car again. Damn I had to find a way to stop him and I risked it all. And as the rain increased in intensity I shouted at him, looking fixedly into his eyes through the crystal :

" I spent the night with him!"

He stood there, frozen, and that was my intent, I hoped he would be surprised the time I needed to force him to listen to me but I had to be quick before he found a way to react.
I moved toward him, reached in with my torso into the open window, snatched the keys from his ignition, and holding my hand high I backed away without taking my eyes off him. A kind of furious statue of liberty. He reacted only then, exactly as I had hoped.
He got out of the car determined to get them back, grabbed me by the wrist, my arm always high, and yelled at me. Right in my face. This did not frighten me in the least as it had happened that famous time.

"Fuck, that's enough now! What are you playing at? Let go of me. Did you spend the night with him? Good for you!!! Are you happy? Good, I'm happy too. Now get off it's late, you're wasting my time and it's even raining!"

I knew he would be able to take them from my hands, he was stronger and taller than me, and he was furious. He was hurting me but I didn't want to hit him, I was trained to react to aggression but I kept unconditional reflexes at bay and so I did the last thing I could think of to keep him still with me.