Professor, I Can Take Care Of Myself [COMPLETE]

CHAPTER 47 - Lose and Gain

TRIGGER WARNING: gunshots, violence, abuse, mentions of blood, and suicide attempt. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

~UNEDITED~

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"Ngunit tinago rin ng ina mo ang katotohanan na buhay ka pa kay Cypress dahil ayaw ng mommy mo na gambalain ka ni Zenebe sa Canada para magawa niya 'yung plano. How cruel, right?"

Cypress Varsha, my love, It all make sense now.

The sole reason you're afraid of letting me go was because you are too traumatized that I might leave you again.

"Cypress Varsha Zenebe is the woman who gave up her dreams in order to fulfill her girlfriend's dream." I heard him speak again. "Because she thought that you are dead."

My mother hid me from you so she can accomplish her plans and she doesn't want you to interfere.

As I suffered during my stay in Canada because I was longing for your presence. You are suffering also because you thought that I am dead.

"Are you even fucking listening?!"

"Yeah, I've been talking to my thoughts. Thanks for the info." I said, my hands still tied.

"You're not scared. Nagbago ka na." Sabi ni Seth sa akin. "It's been twenty-four hours pero wala pa ring dumadating para iligtas ka sa akin, kawawa ka naman."

"That's because dinala mo ako sa malayo na lugar. Gamitin mo ang maliit mong utak." Rebat ko at sinamaan s'ya ng tingin.

Natatandaan ko na lahat. Alam ko na rin lahat ng mga nangyari at bakit ako dinala sa Canada. Alam ko na rin ang mga sikretong pilit na tinatago sa'kin ni Cypress.

Ang wala lang talaga akong alam ay... tungkol doon sa plano na sinasabi ni Varsha at ni mama. I do feel bad, because I can't forget the way I badmouthed my mother because she made my life in Canada a living hell.

Nanay ko 'yun eh. Paano ko nagawang sabihin o isipin 'yun? Pero kasi... galit na galit ako. Ang hirap na hindi magalit sa ginawa niya sa'kin.

Napapatanong ako sa sarili ko; bakit 'yon ginawa ng mama ko? Paano niya ako nagawang saktan?! Paano niya ako nagawang matiis sa aking mga paghihirap? Lahat din ba 'yon ay kasama sa plano?

Si Cypress... nadamay ko pa si Cypress. Napagbintangan ko pa s'ya sa kasalanang hindi naman niya ginawa at kung tutuusin ay hindi niya talaga kayang gawin. Fuck, I feel so awful.

"Paano m-mo nalaman ang lahat ng 'to?" I asked, gulping.

"Because your mother is stupid. Wala talaga akong amnesia, diba? And I used that as an advantage and opportunity to get informations about you."

I want to cry, I want to scream, and I want to rest. Kung pina-abort nalang sana kasi ako ni mama ay hindi mangyayari ang lahat ng 'to eh. Wala sanang gulo na mangyayari.

But I can't. I can't show this man that I'm weak, he'll use that as an advantage.

My mother brought me home... because she thought that this man in front of me has an amnesia. She's been trick. Everyone has been trick by Seth.