Bird-Like Heart

shoes

I threw out a pair of shoes today.
They were black beat up vans
They've been with me since high-school
They had rips and tears through the fabric
Bleach and paint splatters
Dirt edged in the lines
They fit perfectly with the souls of my feet
Comforted me through every step
I threw them away
I even shed a tear I wanted to thank them give them a proper goodbye, a funeral, a fucking hug
They've been with me through so much and carried me when no one else would.
I know it's silly, relying on a pair of shoes. To feel emotions for them.
But for a second I wanted to give them a second chance
But in reality we've just made it through our 97 chance and if we made it to 100 they wouldn't be recognizable.
I could get a new pair. Would I get the same pair?
They wouldn't really be the same though.
They wouldn't have the same rips and the same shoelaces. No bleach or paint splatters. No dirt in the lines. Not the imprint of my soul. Not the memories that held me up.
All the hard shit I went through, I was those fucking shoes.
And now I've just thrown then away
I shouldn't be so attached.
But how can I not be when those shoes helped me stand my ground when I wanted to run.
I loved these shoes.
But now they're gone.
I took the trash out and set it in the dumpster.
I gave it an invisible nod
And walked inside and locked the door.
It won't be the same now