someone great // yeonbin

twenty fifth chapter

Yeonjun's pov:

What is it, that's about to happen? I step out of the backstage area, feeling a weird tingle inside my stomach.

Something will happen tonight, I feel it.

I make my way to the stage. Every step I take, I take it slowly, careful as if I would fall every second.

The lights are out, making me appear mischievous, when the dimmed lights are switched on again. I am standing there, not able to see the audience, cause the only light on is shining right at me.

I breath in slowly.

It is not the first song I played here today, but any song before was happy and dance like, this one will be the most personal and I need to prepare myself for that.

I breath out, showing my band the sign to start playing.

I close my eyes, imagining that the one I wrote the song for would be here, would be able to hear it and would be able to understand me.

So, I start, wishing for him. 

Sometimes I get emotional
And I can't seem to find the way I'm supposed to go
And all these so-called people that I'm supposed to know
They be the main ones, smile up in your face, but behind your back they hate
So I hope you know, you ain't the only reason I'm emotional
My tears fall like water so that I can grow
Not like I was before
Tryna make a change, I need something more

I open my eyes, observing the crowd, dancing slowly -mostly in pairs- to the song.

I can't hold back these tears, let me cry
They say a man ain't supposed to cry

So I'ma let the song cry
I'ma let my soul cry through these words
I need to try to free my mind
Sometimes I need to cry just to ease my hurt
But when I let the song cry
Hope you don't think I still won't ride for mine
Every rose needs the rain sometimes
But know that you can dry your eyes this time
Let the song cry

My eyes got stuck on one person. I can't move my eyes away, and it seems like it is the same for him.

I can't think.

I don't know what to do, how to act.

What is he doing here?

I know, I wanted him to listen to this, but I never thought he would be here for real.

What am I supposed to do?
Hold it all together when I think of you?
When in my heart I'm thinking you were gone too soon
May you rest in peace, yet I can't sleep
'Cause my point of view
Got me in a state of mind, I'm so confused (ah-ah)
Crying raindrops so that I can bloom
So what am I to do?

I can't hold back these tears, let me cry
They say a man ain't supposed to cry

I feel how my eyes water, when I see him standing there. He looks good, of course. But he also looks lost, and lonely. He stares at me, as if he is holding on for his life.

Oh god, I missed him so much.

I love him. 

So I'ma let the song cry
I'ma let my soul cry through these words
I need to try to free my mind
Sometimes I need to cry just to ease my hurt
But when I let the song cry
Hope you don't think I still won't ride for mine
Every rose needs the rain sometimes
But know that you can dry your eyes this time
Let the song cry

I can't take my eyes off him. I stay still, hearing some people cheer for me.

I can't concentrate on that, I only have eyes for one boy there.

But I can understand now, what my feeling was about.

I know it, that the end will come.

I go to the backstage again and towards my own preparing room, drying my tears with a towel laying over my chair.

Steps. That's all I hear, until I feel a figure behind me. And I know it's him.

But I don't want to turn around.

"All I think about is you", his voice is trembling. He cried right before, surely. And it was not the first time probably.

"Can we make up please? I miss you so much!", he sniffles.

I turn around, seeing the face I like the most in this world littered with tears.

"Why would you go to America? What's in America, that isn't here? I was there for years, and I don't get what you are trying to find there!", I say referring to the years I studied up road, my own tears start to flow again.

"It's a big opportunity!", he says, anger is now building up in his voice again.

"But wouldn't you lose so much more things than you would find?", my disappointment is taking over me. I can't believe he wouldn't even discuss it with me to hear my opinion.

He doesn't say anything. He can't say anything against it, or he think of it as more important than having me.

Every word has consequences, but every silence too.

"Let's brake up then.", I say. My words are harsh, so is my voice. But I am not.

Actually, I just want to hug him again, having him close by my side is everything I wish for. But this doesn't seem to be the same for him. I would have done everything for him. I trust him, I am sure we would have been able to do a long-distance relationship, but he doesn't seem to trust me. He has no trust in me, no trust in us.

Then, what's the point in all of this?

"That's it?", Soobin says. The look in his eyes, full of sadness, it nearly breaks me, but he doesn't even wait for an answer. He just leaves.

My eyes refuse to watch him leave, so tears blur my sight and with that the memories.

Only one thought crossing my mind, as he does:

"You left like I was never a reason to stay."

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helloooo, I'm sorry for letting you waiting, but here I am

it's sad right? even I am emotional right now, even though I obviously knew what was coming...

but not everything is how it seems, so stay tuned <3

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