it is what it is // GLENN RHEE

e i g h t e e n

we finally left the camp. leaving our past behind. i kept an eye on jim. i never really talked to him at all. i felt bad for him though. that he got bit.

he was getting bad. really bad. jacqui was helping me out a cold rag on his forehead. "he's not getting any better." i frownded at my own words.

"think we should tell your brother?" she knew he was a tough subject right now since him and i got into that small fight.

i looked down at my feet not looking at jacqui. "yeah." i cleared my throat. "yeah, uhm, you tell him, though. be better if you did." i gave her a small smile before she went to go tell rick that jim wasn't getting any better but getting worse.

i kept messing with my fingers when i heard a voice next to me. "save a grave for me?" i looked up to see jim looking at me expectedly.

"nobody wants that, jim." i told him.

"it's not about what you want. it's about what i want." he told me.

"you really want to die?" i asked him in disbelief.

"i'll be with my family."

i got up after he started to throw up. dale looked at me, pity evident in his eyes. i looked away not wanting to have his pity.

dale stopped the RV and we all stepped out of our cars discussing jim. we didn't want to kill him. it would make us feel real bad about it.

we decided to leave jim since it was his choice. it didn't mean that we didn't feel bad about the choice, hell, it shook me up inside.

glenn walked up to me and smiled. j didn't give him one back. i was simply ignoring him. "was i good?" his ego was getting the best of him.

"it was a one time thing." i said, sternly. i went to go say my goodbyes to jim. "hey, jim. how are you?" i knew i shouldn't have asked that as soon as i said it.

"i feel like i'm dying, literally." he dryly laughed. i tried giving jim my gun but he told me i needed it. i got up with tears rolling down my face.

i got into the RV, sitting next to jacqui, crying. we hugged each other for comfort. i couldn't look out the window. i felt bad for leaving him. let alone him going to die soon.