TO BE LOVED

•♡•

Dear Virat,

I don't know where to start. It's the first time I am finding it difficult to tell you what I feel, maybe because we are having our first fight.

We haven't spoken to each from last 5 days, if you don't count our argument on the day of match. To be honest I am so mad at you.

On the day Harry had that injury, when Pooja blamed me, It didn't hurt so much she put blame on me, but it hurts me so much when you asked.

"Siya did you really asked Harry?"

I know, you didn't have any ideas about I asked him or not but when I said I did. I wanted you to trust me. I want to you just believe me. You always do that, you have believed in me when I couldn't believe myself, it's has been only 4 months since we are dating but trust me I am so much confident when I am around you, when I know you are with me. You are my strength. And when you asked me that question, my strength was gone.

But when you came to see Harry, when we had that intense eyes contact, it felt like you trust me, it felt like you are with me, you didn't have to say it I know what you mean.

But this fight doesn't seem to stop, we argue again. You said you were distracted, you didn't say it clearly but I know you were trying to say our relationship is the reason you are distracted. I don't think so Virat, you are so very focused when it comes to cricket. Why are you believing those stupid tweets?

Am I really the reason you are stressed out? If I am, I am really sorry. I freaked out in that conversation with you but I am angry at myself for just leaving you in that situation alone.

When you said just leave me alone, and I left how I wished I could to hold you tight at that time. I was so busy trying to make you understand the situation, I forgot you want to be understood more.

But my boy You know how much pressure putting on yourself, you are the best but you are human too, you need to calm down. Loss and Win are the part of the game, sometimes it's out of our control. You are not talking to Ro, infact you are not talking to anyone around you.

You are sitting right in front of me at this moment, we are looking at each a lot. And one of us looked away after sometime. When you look at me my heart smiles, I want to run into your arms. I want to tell you that I miss you, I want to hold you tight. But I am angry at you for believing that stupid tweet.

I can't do this anymore, talking to you at the end of the day feels like coming home. I want to find way back to you. You want the same I know.

I might be so angry at you but I hope you know I love you, always!
Even when we fight, even when we don't talk, even when I don't love myself I always love you.

Yours,
Siya.