011. Destiny's Game (Eda)

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Title : Destiny's GameAuthor: _Mini_Padfoot_Reviewer : Eda_evans

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Title : Destiny's Game
Author: _Mini_Padfoot_
Reviewer : Eda_evans

Cover: first of all I'm obsessed with your title, it's not cringe like most of the fan fictions tend to be. But i can't say same about the cover. I think it's too basic and I've seen it alot before on many books with different characters of course, but similar style.

Blurb: the blurb is too short to be honest. It's suppose to be atleast a 100 words long. Please do not expose all the qualities and traits of your characters. Also let the relationships between the characters be unexpected, don't let it all out in the blurb. Like the enemies sort of relation between Fiona and Sirius is okay but revealing that Fiona is James's twin could have been a surprise for readers. If you're thinking then what to write, try to expand your simple small sentences into big ones , it'll help you to make a 100 words blurb without telling much about the story before chapter one.

Grammar: I must say you are good at framing dialogues. Also the paragraph are well distributed with appropriate words. Vocabulary is very intriguing as well. So full marks for grammar (lol)

Summary: frankly speaking, Sirius is one of my favorite characters in the Potter Universe. And seeing you portraying him so well in this book is very exciting. I just want you to work on your blurb and cover which is optional
I hope none of the above things I wrote hurt you, I apologize if it did, thank you

 I just want you to work on your blurb and cover which is optional I hope none of the above things I wrote hurt you, I apologize if it did, thank you

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