so far this is my life

..Kye?

God, this'll person im about to talk about. Beware shit is messy as fuck. so prepare yourself.

This person randomly found me. This person randomly came into my life and turned me upside down and inside out. This person will never measure up to Him. This person is not perfect, but they are a  beautiful mess. This person has loved me through everything ive put them through, This person has put up with all of my bipolar moods. this person has never judged me. This person has been through a lot of shit. Much more than what ive been through and they have opened up to me some. More than i would've expected if im being completely honest here.  This person has been through a lot and they still put up with me although i never fully opened up to them and i dont know if i can ever fully open up to them or anyone to be honest. This person is a beautiful messed up ball of light. This person doesnt need to love me, they didnt need to stay but they did. There still here. I mean we've pushed eachother away, pushed eachother to fucking limits and there still here which is surprising to me. if no ones noticed im used to people leaving lol. I have been pushed a lot by this person and i get mean. I dont even know why. I dont like being mean to them but i need someone who can match it back. If im mean then either get me to calm down, be mean abck match me or walk away. But i would never purposely hurt them by saying something i didnt  mean. Yes, i know ive hurt their feelings but not like they hurt mine. Im not going to go into details there's no point. They have been with me for the past 3 years now. Since they were 14 and i was 15. Then we were 15 and 16. Now we are 16 and 17. This person is officially one of my favorite people who surprisingly can match me if im angry. The person who matches me when im happy is this girl named Mitzu although i swear she pisses me off like no end. Shes another chapter i promise. But Kye. We met when they were 14 and i was 15, we were both in relationships, so we became friends. eventually though we started dating and it was great but then something changed and they had to take days off of the relationship for their own reasons which i understand, eventually i had to leave the relationship which i did for two months, i tried to check in when i could but for the most part i took off of people on my phone not rlly even talking to the people at my school. When i came back i was welcomed with open arms. When i came back everything felt like it was right where it was supposed to be. Then we got into fights, and we broke up a lot. We were stupid, i was stupid. My friends would always ask me why i stayed or why id go back. My only answer. They made me feel whole again, I felt like i could breathe again even when we fought, even when i was crying so hard i literally couldn't breathe. I felt like i was alive again. It didnt feel like i was suffering anymore. When there with me i feel like me, i dont feel like a shell of who i was before and i miss that. I miss that feeling, I miss them but i had to break things off. I needed to find myself as a person again where i didnt rely on others to fix me. I needed to fix myself. I would go back to then in a heartbeat. I would drop everything if they called me.If you asked me what i missed about them the most it would be there voice late at night and how i felt safe with them. I could literally fall asleep on call with them with no issues, we didnt even have to talk i just would hear them talking and just feel like i was home. They were my home. And so now when i say that i have nothing left i literally mean ive got nothing left here for me. I could disappear and no one would notice that i was gone. I could literally get shot tomorrow and no one would notice...isnt that sad? To know that you wouldnt be missed? Anyways this person will forever be someone i recognized as to be home to me. There not my home anymore, I dont have a home anymore but i have the memories of it. I just hope their okay and there not letting anything slow them down. If your reading this Kye..I love you okay? That i promise you forever. I love you mi amor.