*A Nobody* *n.h.* -Finished-

*A Nobody* ~One Direction Fan Fiction~

Letting You Know Now, This Book And All It's Content Is Copyrited. It's My Work, Just Like My Other Stories.. Anyway. This story will be extremely different from my other books.  but it's also a fan fiction so yeah.....I Do Not Own The One Direction Characters But I Do Own Natalie, Jake, Their Parents, Her Friends, And Anyone Else That Comes Into The Story

 

 

Prologue

My mind, it races with different things. I’m not sane at all sometimes I catch myself wondering if the world would be a better place without me. I have so much held up inside that it hurts. My insecurities have gotten to me.

Everyone says I have pretty blue eyes and that my personality is wonderful but others try and tear me down. I’m 5’5 and I’m not skinny but I want to be so much it hurts. I have an auburn brown hair about to my stomach. Like I said I’m not happy with my looks, I feel so ugly that even with the little amounts of complements I get don’t help. I still feel ugly inside and out.

I have Depression with intensifies my insecurities by thousands. The way I look at myself is wrong. When I see myself I see a girl who’s broken and as no one to care about her. With Depression I also get Anxiety Attacks, they’re really bad where I actually have to sit down and calm myself if not I start hyperventilating and then passing out.

Throughout my life I was told I was never good enough for anyone, no one would love me. I thought about the quick way out a lot. Suicide would cross my mind a lot. I felt like if I just ended it now that people wouldn’t make fun of me; the bullies, there words hurt.

Fat

Ugly

Waste of Space

You name it they probably have called me it. Sure I have friends but none of them know about my inner struggles with myself, they think I am the happy, carefree, bubbly, and loud person I show on the outside.

But they’re wrong, so wrong. I don’t tell them because I don’t want the sympathy from them. Or that I don’t want them to think I am some kind of freak for my scars.

Yes scars. Just because I thought suicide was out of the question didn’t mean the cutting wasn’t an option for me. At first it was just little scratches here and there but THEIR words just got more intense as did my cutting.

I have them on my arms. I don’t do them too often because I know the outcome. The urges are getting more frequent though. Sometimes I write what I am feeling whenever I want to cut. It blocks it out most of the time but whenever I can’t find anything to write I cut. I’m not proud of it but it’s my release from the world for a few minutes.

My parents know nothing of my thoughts either. They’re too busy trying to lead a perfect life with everyone else. They barely have time for me anymore and when they do it’s awkward so I usually leave and go to my spot.

It’s weird because that spot is actually the same spot I thought about ending it all. It’s a ledge on the side of a bridge. There’s a small river underneath it that I watch whenever I need my time to write.

The only people that see me are the ones who have really tall cars or trucks and that’s a lot when you live in West Virginia. There’s a lot of nice people here but the rest are just complete assholes; mostly the guys. If you aren’t skinny, blonde, and a cheerleader than you’re not pretty or skanky enough for the guys here.

Some guys are sweethearts and those guys are already taken so it not much of a choice you either be somebody or you’re a nobody.

I made my choice when the bullying started.

Hi, my name is Natalie Janet Hanes and I am a nobody.