FNAF group chat

FNAF1 (14)

A/N: I suck... LMAO
I fucking wrote this a week ago and just forgot to post this... fucking hell.

Mike:
OH MY GOD! NAKED GRANDMA BROKE IN!
Bonnie:
... EW! WHY?
Chica:
... Mike, can I beat her with a pan? She just pissed on the stage.
Mike:
YES!
Freddy:
WHY IS SHE CARRYING THE FRENCH FLAG?
Foxy:
... that's just a picture of the Eiffel Tower...
Freddy:
... you're telling me that's not how the French flag looks?
Foxy:
🇫🇷 Here's the flag... fucking idiot.
Bonnie:
Update... old lady down... she's laying under the table covered in pizza sauce.
Freddy:
Mike, go clean the table.
Mike:
I'm a security guard, not a fucking janitor. Also, you're not my boss Fredrick.
Foxy:
FREDRICK! 😂
Bonnie:
... Freddy's full name is Fredrick?
Freddy:
NO!
Mike:
It is now bitch.
Chica:
... I'll clean the fucking table...
Bonnie:
Mike, let's do a TikTok dance. POUND TOWN!
Mike:
Bonnie... respectfully, shut the fuck up.
Freddy:
I WANNA DO IT!
Chica:
You can't dance... you hop from foot to foot on stage and call that dancing.
Foxy:
Don't forget his signature move... waving his right arm in the air, then his left.
Bonnie:
Every now and then, he'll spin three times.
Mike:
And then he trips... LMAO
Freddy:
SHUT UP!
Chica:
It's true though.
Foxy:
Can we go back to the grandma... what are you going to do with her?
Mike:
I threw her out of the doors and she's laying in the middle of the parking lot. The doors are locked though so she can't get in.
Chica:
Good... she looked gross... where were her clothes.
Foxy:
Have you guys stopped to think that maybe she needs help or something? She may have something going on in her brain...
Mike:
No... she doesn't. Everyone in town knows her and she just does this shit because she's weird. She's fully aware of her actions.
Bonnie:
... EVERYONE KNOWS HER?
Mike:
Yes. Last week, they caught her putting hotdogs into men's pants at the Walmart. When they tried to stop her, she began cackling and throwing the pants and hotdogs at the workers. Then, she sprinted out of the door.
Chica:
She sprinted? She's old!
Mike:
And fast... she chases kids in her neighborhood all the time and most of the time, they can't escape her.
Freddy:
... anyway, Bonnie, when are we doing that dance?
Bonnie:
NEVER! DAMN!
Golden Freddy:
Bonnie, it's not like you can dance either. You have two left feet.
Bonnie:
... do I really? They look fine to me.
Golden Freddy:
NOT LITERALLY YOU DUMB FUCK!
Mike:
... where have you been throughout this conversation?
Golden Freddy:
I'm painting the bathroom... the workers are going to be pissed. LOL
Mike:
I want to come see.
Golden Freddy:
... each stall has a different theme. Stall 1 is...
Mike:
WHY DID YOU PAINT TURTLES HAVING SEX?
Golden Freddy:
WHY NOT?
Chica:
Why is stall 2 just R34 of Grimace from McDonalds?
Golden Freddy:
WHY NOT?
Mike:
... stall 3 just has a giant painting of my face covered in mustard... I hate mustard.
Golden Freddy:
... you suck Mike.
Freddy:
I used to drink mustard straight from the bottle.
Golden Freddy:
... you suck Freddy.
Bonnie:
LMAO, stall 4 has a painting of the grandma throwing hotdogs.
Golden Freddy:
Yep. I still need to do the last stall. Give me ideas.
Foxy:
Strip club.
Golden Freddy:
At a kids establishment? HELL YEAH! THE WORKERS WILL REALLY HATE ME NOW!
Mike:
And you're doing this why?
Golden Freddy:
... well, one of them decided that since I'm out of commission forever, I'm the perfect way for them to take out their frustration. All of the employees regularly come in and beat the shit out of me. I'm signing their names in each stall in hopes they will get fired!
Foxy:
That's fucking genius.
Chica:
Yeah... the signatures look perfect too.
Golden Freddy:
I've been planning this for a while... I had to make everything perfect.
Mike:
Those employees will definitely get fired... DON'T YOU DARE DO MY SIGNATURE!
Golden Freddy:
Have you kicked, punched, scratched, hammered or beaten me within the last month?
Mike:
... no.
Golden Freddy:
Then you're fine...