Geeky Turn On!

The 2 AM mess

One wild and crazy afternoon of trading nudes and cyber sex later, I was all knocked out and fell asleep. When I woke up, I noticed it was two in the morning; about two hours away from when I usually went to bed. I cursed under my breath; probably should have waited for night time before I got frisky with April.

I yawned and headed upstairs to see if Sarah left me anything to eat. I went to the kitchen and found a bowl of spaghetti in the microwave, along with a note that said:

Dear Daisy:

I went downstairs to call you for dinner, but I saw you were busy, so I left it in the microwave.

Love:

Your stepmom, Sarah.

To this day I don't know how Dad scored a girl like Sarah, but I'm glad he got with the cool type of step mom instead of the colossal B-word type of step mom like in the fairy tales. Anyway, I ate that spaghetti; halfway through eating it I realized I probably should have heated it up, but Sarah forgot to tell me how much time I'd need to heat it up for, so I just ate the spaghetti cold. Not the first time I've done that.

After eating...whatever you call a meal you eat at two in the morning while reeking of sweat, I headed back down to my room and turned on my comp. I checked my email; no new job offerings. Whatever. So I booted up some good ol' League to see if DragonLord666 was on. He wasn't, but he sent me a message...

Him: Sorry I haven't been on lately; life's crazy over here. I have to go on this boring trip tomorrow, and I won't be able to play. Sorry. Message me when ya get this!

So of course I messaged him...

Me: Nah, it's cool, bro! My weekend was CRAZY! I met this fine chick at the store the other day, and we hit it off! Totally scored her digits and all!

I guess I had hoped he'd come back online, but I figured he was asleep by that time, so I logged out. Honestly, League isn't fun anymore if it isn't played with friends. In fact, the only reason I ever got into League was because Gabe and Todd dragged me into it...

It was 2010, and I had just been dumped by my online girlfriend. I really thought she was The One, you know? But, she wasn't. She left me, and then she started dating a married dude. That killed me. Anyway, Gabe and Todd forced me on this game called League of Legends, which was getting HUGE back in those days, to get me out of my funk.

So we played some games, and with time I got better at it. Then, by December of 2010,  I met DragonLord666. We played a match together and had a ton of fun. Then he invited me to another match, and again we had some great fun. We played and played, and with time we became best buddies.

All that time, he's always assumed I was another guy, too. I decided to let him think that because, well, being a girl online isn't easy. When you're not getting harassed by guys who're not as good at the game as you are, you're being thirsted over by horndogs who think all girls look and act like in porn. And, you know, I really like the guy and I don't want to ruin it by having him thirst after me cuz then I'd have to break his heart by telling him I'm gay.

It's a mess all over.

Anyway, I decided to see what other games I could play on my computer. I checked my Steam library; I had recently bought Persona 4 Golden, but I already beat it thrice. I also bought Final Fantasy 12 The Zodiac Age, but I didn't really like it. I mean, Final Fantasy's OK and all, but I feel that when I compare it to how the JRPG genre has grown in the past two decades, Final Fantasy as a franchise isn't as good as others. I personally prefer playing Persona and Tales games.

Aha! I knew what I wanted to play; Persona 2 on my PS1 Emulator! Honestly, the Playstation 2 is a pain to emulate because of its CPU and GPUs. I'm working on making an emulator that works as smoothly for the PS2 as ePSXe does the PS1, though. It's just taking me a long time to do it.

Just as I was booting up ePSXe, I received a message on Discord. Jolie was messaging me, giving me a link towards some streamer playing online.

"Look at this!!!" She typed to me, sending me the link. "She's sooooo SUGOI!!!" And then she typed like five thousand smiling and starry eyed emojis.

So I clicked the link, and my jaw dropped; Paige was streaming Dark Souls 3. She was fighting the second boss in the game, a HUGE guy who moves quick and can freeze you to death in three moves.

"This guy isn't so tough," she said as she had her character, a gorgeous redhead in nothing but a loincloth wielding a rapier and a small shield. "Like every Dark Souls boss, it's all about your movement, your positioning, and most importantly, the timing. Even if your parrying skills are trash, all you really need to do is to watch your enemy's movements. Honestly, most bosses in this game are all too predictable; it's not impossible to beat them with zero damage."

I watched as she dodged EVERY attack that big ass boss threw at her; she just rolled out of the way like a CHAMP! And when the boss turned its back on her, she'd stick that rapier up its butt three times before backing off! She was SO COOL! UGH, when I play Dark Souls, I get my butt handed to me EVERY GODDAMN TIME!!!

I made the mistake of looking over at the comments section; there were over a hundred guys online, and they were all giving her money. Five dollar donations, ten dollars, FIFTY dollars!? And then there's the comments, like...

Come on, let those puppies out!

I love you!

Marry me pls?

Nudes plx

Got an Only Fans?

But Paige, she ignored them, only ever acknowledging the people paying her. Even then, her acknowledgment was curt and quick; like a "thanks for the money, User Name Here," and then she went back to talking about the game. And I'm like "shoot, if it had been me, I woulda lost my cool ages ago."

Paige really was something else. She had this air of dignity to her, this calm; she was like a concrete tower that stood strong against five million Category Fifty hurricanes at the same time! And like...I started feeling really bad, ya know? Because, here was this totally cool, totally awesome chick. And then there's me, the complete opposite of her.

I'm thirty four years old. I've only had sex twice in my life, and the second time was drunk sex from my ex who rang me up at 3 AM on our senior year of college. I barely have a job, my room is a basement that smells of Dorito farts, and I live with my folks. I ate cold spaghetti because I'm too chicken to use the microwave. I don't have a car because I'm scared of driving. And my girlfriend is sixteen years my junior and I spent an entire goddamned afternoon having cyber sex with her when I could have been doing something productive.

My life sucks.

I suck. 

I decided to play some Persona 2; that oughta help me deal with it...