Geeky Turn On!

Feels bad, man

  Welp, that didn't work out like I wanted. At all.

I arrived home after a loooong ass trip. I smelled, I was exhausted, my back hurt, it was all a poop show. I wasn't in the mood to explain anything, but I guess Dad and Sarah understood that it didn't go how I wanted it to. This sucks, yo.

After a shower and a change of clothing, I went down to my basement. I laid on my bed just...not doing jack, ya know? I just stared at the ceiling, thinking about nothing.

She rejected me. It's not the first time someone's rejected me; I've been rejected dozens of times. Starting from high school, college, and even for most of my adult life, I've been rejected. It's nothing NEW to me!

So why does this time feel so different? I feel like I got rejected for the first time in my life...

"Daisy, honey?" Dad called from upstairs. "May I come in?"

"OK..."

Dad came downstairs and sat on my bed. I scooted over so he could have room to sit.

"It didn't go how you wanted it to, did it?"

"No."

"She reject you?"

"Yeah..."

"It sucks, doesn't it?" Dad said as he patted my head. "I've been there, sweetie. I've been there..."

"Uhuh..."

We stayed silent for a few minutes; he seemed to be thinking what to say, or something.

"I don't know what my dad would say," he said, looking sad. "He died when I was just a little kid. But my mom, I know she'd tell me to suck it up, forget her, and move on."

"I miss her."

"Me too," he said, sighing. "Every day I miss her. So much I wanted to show her, to tell her..."

Again, a few minutes of silence. I decided to get up from bed.

"Did you tell Kevin about his laptop?" I asked.

"Sarah did," he said. "He was relieved to know the money we spent didn't go to waste."

"Yeah," I said. "Just don't let the Genius Bar ever find out; otherwise, they can refuse to work on it in the future."

"Why go there, when you can do a better job?" Asked Dad. "By the way, still interested in starting up that business?"

"I think," I said. "I'm not sure; when I said I wanted to do the business, I was in this emotional high, but now-"

"Stop," he said, sounding really serious. "Know what, Daisy? I won't let you do this; I won't let you second guess yourself because of your emotional state. You've graduated from college twelve years ago and have been a freelance coder for all that time. It was fine at first, but you've allowed yourself to vegetate. You've stopped climbing the mountain when you were halfway up."

"Dad?"

"I have seen you build your own computers for over a decade now," Dad continued. "In the twelve years since you've graduated, I've never ONCE heard you say so much as a word of enthusiasm about coding. But I've seen the way your eyes light up whenever you build or repair a computer, or a phone, or any other gadget. I think you could have been a great computer engineer, Daisy."

"No way," I said. "The community college didn't offer that, and no way could I have ever left town for-"

"Funny how the girl who was too scared to go to college when she was younger, took a plane and flew halfway across the country yesterday for some girl," Dad said, chuckling. "You're not who you used to be, honey. You've changed, for the BETTER. And you can keep changing, keep improving, keep moving forward."

"I can?" I asked.

"Yes you can, sweetheart," Dad said. "I know it looks bad now, but believe me, it gets better."

"How do you know?"

"Because I've been there," he said, smiling at me. "Your mother left us because my business wasn't making us the money she expected; she wanted us to be rich already, but I was barely able to afford our old house. When she left, I thought for sure I had failed in life, and that all I did was screw everything up."

"Dad..."

"But I didn't give up," he continued. "I put in my time, I tripled my efforts, and I slaved and toiled so I could get us ahead in life. I promised myself I was gonna get through this, and I was gonna help you recover from what happened. My business started picking up in a while, and eventually I reunited with Sarah."

"She really is great, isn't she?" I said.

"The best," Dad said. "She gave me the emotional support Liliana thought herself above giving. Thanks to her, I managed to get my head back in the game and turn my business into what it is today."

"Good job marrying her," I said, sitting up next to him.

"I know," he grinned. "Maybe that blonde wasn't The One for you. Maybe the one you're meant for is still out there."

"Maybe."

"Or maybe," Dad said. "Maybe it IS her, and she's simply not ready for you."

"Maybe," I said, shrugging. "But...that's not on me, is it?"

"It sure as heck isn't," he said. "So...forget about her and move on. You did your part; if she rejected you, that's her loss. You're someone who cares deeply for others, always overcomes the obstacles in her way, plus you're pretty smart. If that's not good enough for her, then it's whatever; there's someone out there wishing she could meet you. Don't give up yet."

"I won't, Dad."

As soon as he left, I took a deep breath. Yeah, Paige and me? That's over. It was over before it even started. I got up and turned on my computer. I decided I'd tell the gang about what happened tomorrow; today's been too exhausting anyway.

There was this one person I wanted to talk to, though: DragonLord666. I logged onto League, hoping he'd be on. He wasn't, but he left me some messages...

Him: Hey, long time no talk. Sorry about that; life's been a beach lately.

Him: So, IDK when you'll get this or if you'll read this, but my life's been in the toilet lately. I broke up with my girl the other day; good riddance, though, she was awful. Total beach; she abused me.

Him: The girl of my dreams, though, she was dating someone else, and that made me feel like sheet, so I went back home to my parents.

Him: And she FOLLOWED ME HOME! Flew thousands of miles, just to see me! Then she confessed that she liked me!

Him: But I chocked, dude. I chocked and said nothing. Then she left. The girl of my dreams, dude. I had her, right then and there, but I chickened out and now she's gone forever.

Him: I'm a dumb a55, bro. I hate myself.

I dried my tears; my poor Dragon bro. I decided to write him back...

Me: I know how you feel. I made a mistake myself just this morning. I confessed to a girl I liked.

Me: She rejected me.

Me: I know it sucks, but you really like this girl, right? I don't think it's over for you.

Me: Find her, bro. Find her and tell her everything. If you really like her, FIGHT for her!

And then I waited ten minutes to see if he'd log back in, but he didn't. Ah well; he must be busy.

I thought about what I did regarding Paige. I really did go halfway across the US just to see her! Huh, I never thought I'd be able to do that! I wonder; what else can I do if I just get over myself and actually try?