Geeky Turn On!

TFW you're an idiot

 Sam wanted to video chat with me, so I agreed to do so. Luckily I have a built in webcam on my right monitor, so that's not a problem. I began the video chat...

"Hey," she said as soon as she came on.

"Wassup?" I asked.

"Oh, not a lot," she replied. "Been a wild weekend, right?"

"Yup," I said with a grin. "Wild."

"So, I wanna hear about how Paige broke up with Tiny Dick Paul," Sam said, rubbing her hands. "Paige was a little scarce on the details, you see."

"Well, it all started when that jerk went up to me and her and my baby bro," I said. "And he started acting like a total snot head to Paige, and that ticked off my baby bro, because he was the one who was there to help her try and get back up when she was drunk on the floor."

"I remember him," Sam said, smiling and rubbing her chin. "He was super cute!"

"Uh, yeah," I said, frowning a bit. Sam, you're awesome and all, but my little brother is off limits!

"Anyway," I continued. "Jerkface McGirlhitter got mad at my bro, and legit tried to put hands on him! A thirty something year old man legit wanted to lay hands on a college kid!"

"He's almost forty," Sam said, frowning. "But he acts thirteen. Probably grew up with parents who threw money at whatever problems he started to make them go away."

"Probably," I said, shrugging. "Anyway, I stepped between the two, cuz ain't no jerk in the world lays hands on Kevin, not while I'm around."

"Nice," said Sam. "So what did you do?"

"I tore that Jerkface a new butthole, verbally!" I said, grinning. "And then he tried to deck me, but Paige TANKED the punch, and then she beat the SNOT out of him! With ONE punch! It was like BOOOOOM! An atomic fist!"

"Nice," Sam said, smiling. "So what did you tell him?"

"Nothing much," I said, shrugging. "Just that he's a sucker, and he sucks, and he's a pathetic bully who never deserved Paige."

"I see," she said, looking like she was pondering something. "Say, what do you think about her?"

"Whatcha mean?"

"I mean, what's your opinion of her?"

"Well, I think she's cool!" I said. "Like she's super awesome, ya know?"

"Why?"

"Why what?" I asked.

"What makes her so awesome?" She asked.

"Well," I thought for a second. "She's like this super complex person, ya know? She's super strong and knows how to throw a punch, but she's also super girly, ya know? Like, ya look at her from afar, and you'd never guess that blonde bombshell was a black belt in Karate!"

"Is that it?"

"And she's also SUPER pretty, too!" I said. "So you'd think she'd be conceited and shit, but she's actually one of the nicest girls ever! I'll never forget how she helped me feel better the day some dude got caught jacking it to a video of me kissing my then girlfriend. Like, she didn't HAVE to help me, but she did, you know?"

"Go on."

"And it's not like she just gave me some empty platitudes or nothing," I said. "She legit listened to me, didn't pass judgment or nothing, and even told me about how she feels the same way sometimes! And that helped me feel so much better, ya get me? Like...she listened to me, REALLY listened. And to me, that made all the difference in the world."