Geeky Turn On!

The sins of the father

 "I, uh," she gulped, and I felt my soul die with every second she'd hesitate to speak. It was at this point I knew, I screwed up. I screwed up by coming up here. I screwed up by giving up what I had with Sam for this. I screwed up by opening my big mouth, because it's just like Jerkface said; even if she were attracted to girls, it didn't mean she was attracted to ME.

"Hey, it's OK," I said, waving my hands in front of me. "It's... well I just needed to get it off my chest, ya know? You don't have to like me back, and I totally get why, don't worry! I'm...I'm just glad to see you're doing OK! Well, I oughta get going now!"

"OK," she said, sitting down on her bed, looking down on the ground. If I needed more proof that she wasn't interested, there it was. There it flipping was.

This was a mistake. Coming here, spending all this money; what was I thinking? It's like...what, that she was gonna go "oh I love you too, Daisy! Let's get married!" That was NEVER gonna happen! NOTHING WAS EVER GONNA HAPPEN!

As I made my way downstairs, I noticed Pastor Thompson and his wife in the kitchen making sandwiches. They seem like such nice people, but that's only because they think I'm straight and that I'm only Paige's friend.

I wonder if Paige even considers me a friend anymore. I wouldn't blame her if she wanted to go frosty on me after today. I'm pretty sure I weirded her out.

I kept on hurrying to the front door, when suddenly I heard someone call out to me.

"Hey, redhead," said Paige's younger sister. "This you?"

"Name's Daisy," I said. She handed me her phone, playing THAT video of me tearing Jerkface a new one. "Yeah, that's me."

"Explain this," she said as she played the part where I go about how I'd feel like the luckiest woman in the world if Paige ever settled for me. In hindsight, that was kind of me unambiguously admitting my feelings for her, wasn't it?

"Um," I gulped. She had the look of the type of girl who'd bully me in high school because she caught me staring at another girl. "It's..."

"You some kind of lesbian?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I, uh..."

"Mommy, Daddy! Come here!" Paige's sister called out. "There's something about our guest you should know!"

"Brandi? What's going on?" Asked Mrs Thompson as she and Pastor Thompson entered the living room. The girl then gave her mom the phone, playing the video where I confess my feelings for Paige. I was done for...

"What?" Pastor Thompson whispered, with him and Mrs Thompson looking horrified. I turned my gaze to the floor, avoiding their eyes. I was sure they were filled with hate anyway. "Could you explain this, Miss?"

"I, uh," I said, my body trembling. That's when the word vomit started coming out. "I'm sorry, but I'm gay and I know you guys don't like that sort of thing and I know your Bible says it's wrong and that I'll burn in Hell when I die and all that and I promise I'll leave and never bother you again but I really like Paige and I was sad she was leaving without even telling me goodbye because Paige is SUCH a good person and I've become really attached to her to the point I think I caught feelings for her and..."

And then the word vomit was starting to become REAL vomit, so I hurried out the door to puke on the sidewalk or something. I didn't want them hating me more than they probably did.

"Are you OK?" Asked Mrs Thompson, sounding worried. "Are you sick?"

But the words couldn't come out. It was all just vomit.

"So...you're in love with my daughter," Pastor Thompson said, taking a deep breath. Here it comes. "I'm not...wild about it. The Bible is pretty clear about homosexuality."

"Timothy!" Mrs Thompson began to protest. Huh? Why?

"But the Bible also says a lot of things that we know to not be correct," said Pastor Thompson. It was in that moment that my stomach eased up a little. "The Bible says bats are a type of bird, that laying sticks in front of a goat will result in a striped calf, and that slavery's OK. If we know THAT to be wrong, who's to say the Bible isn't wrong about homosexuality as well?"

"But-"

"I know, I know," Pastor Thompson chuckled. "How can a Pastor say such a thing? Truth is, though, that my faith in God is stronger than what some book tells me. And I know that, for a Christian, empathy for our fellow man HAS to come before dogma. That's a lesson my own father accidentally taught me."

"Huh?" I asked, wiping my mouth.

"My father was a pastor, too," he continued. "He was a good pastor; had the Bible memorized to the letter. He was also a bigot; HATED black people, LOATHED communists, and he was a virulent anti-Semite. He was a man of the faith, but he was horribly prejudiced. He tried getting me to think like he did, too."

"And it didn't take?" I asked.

"It was the Seventies," Pastor Thompson said, shrugging. "By then that sort of thinking was becoming unacceptable in polite society. Anyway, Father always used the Bible to prove his points. He'd go on and on about how the Bible condemns interracial marriage, how Communism went against God's will, how the Jews were responsible for Jesus' death; it was HORRIBLE! And there I was, a child too scared to tell his father that his best friend was black, because I knew if he found out, my friend wouldn't be safe. My father made me feel unsafe in my own home..."

"He made all of us feel uncomfortable," said Mrs. Thompson. "Oh, I still remember his absolute FURY when he found out our hometown elected a black man as mayor!"

"Damn..." I said, shocked.

"You looked really nervous when we first met," he said as he placed a hand on my shoulder, and smiled. "I'd seen that look in your eyes before, when my friend Tommy first met my father. It's the sort of look that comes when you're face to face with someone who hates you for what you were born as. I'm sorry I scared you like that. I promise you, that's not who I am. I always promised myself that I'd never allow anyone to be scared of me or my loved ones because of our faith, but I failed..."

"Don't worry about it," I said, getting up. "I really should get going."

"I hope we didn't scare you away!" Said Mrs. Thompson.

"No, I just," I thought about an excuse. "I never planned on staying here for long, anyway; a day at most. I should be going home, now."

"I see," said Pastor Thompson. "Well, I do hope you come back one day."

"Well, it IS a nice town!" I said, smiling a bit. "Maybe...I can come back one day?"

"Hopefully not alone," said Pastor Thompson. "Maybe you can bring someone special!"

"Yeah, that's not in the cards for me right now," I said.

"Why?" Asked the sister. "Paige turn you down?"

A deathly silence filled the air.

"Soooo, uh," I said as I backed away from the shocked parental units. "B-bye."

And I ran as fast as I could to the bus stop, making it in time to catch the bus to the airport. As we drove away, I cursed myself for, well, everything...

The bus arrived at the airport soon after; I was starving, I was tired, and...just screw it all. I proceeded to buy a plane ticket back home, and then I went to the lobby (remembered the name) and just fell right onto a chair. I was just so done, ya know?