Geeky Turn On!

You live like this?

 After a day of shopping and what not, it was time to go back home. First, Dad and Sarah dropped Gabe off at his apartment, where we waved goodbye to him. Then, the three of us went back home. I opened up the trunk of the car and picked up the shopping bags. My tank tops, gym shorts, and new gym towel were all in here. I sighed to myself; yup, I'm really doing this. Damn, I'm doing this...

We had a nice, quiet dinner. Sarah made us some ravioli; it was pretty good.

"So I'm waking you up at seven in the morning," said Dad. "Not negotiable."

"OK," I said as I slowly ate my dinner.

"This gym stuff will do you a world of good," said Dad.

"I hope so..." I said.

After dinner, I went back to my room/basement. When I came in, something seemed off. My room was so dark without my computer at least being in sleep mode. I reached for my light switch and turned on the lights. Huh...my room's a pigsty.

My bed was messy and unmade. My carpet had stains on it, probably from all the times I've masturbated. My trash can was overflowing with soda cans and candy wrappers; when was the last time I took out my trash? I opened up my closet, and for the first time in my life, I felt embarrassed looking at it. Just a bunch of anime shirts and sweat pants, no shoes, and only a few socks and panties.

Then I looked over to my cabinet of spare computer parts; the ONLY part of my room I kept orderly, besides my computer. I saw Kevin's Mac; I lifted it and held it for a while. My lips began to tremble, tears fell down my face, and a wave of shame crashed over me.

Damn,  I live like this? This is my living space? This is so messed up; no wonder Paul said all those terrible things to me! Look at this place! LOOK AT IT!

A knock on my door. "Yeah?"

"Coming in," said Dad as he entered my room. He climbed down my stairs; I hope he doesn't eye my room. "That Kevin's?"

"Uhuh," I said, clutching the Mac. "It's pretty much useless now."

"That's a thousand bucks down the toilet," he said, growling. "Heard you built him a new one; thanks, by the way."

"It was nothing," I said.

"He told me it works really good," Dad said. "And you built it out of spare parts?"

"Uhuh."

"That could be a career for you," said Dad. "Building PCs, fixing computers..."

"Kevin and Sarah said the same thing," I said.

"Well, now it's three outta three that are telling you to do it," said Dad. "So...consider it."

"I will," I said, putting the Mac down.

"Sooo," Dad said, sitting on my bed. "You scared me yesterday."

"I'm sorry."

"You were in a dark place again," he said. "What made you go there?"

"Uh..." I was too scared to tell my dad about what happened. With me and April, with me and Paul...

"You and me used to be closer," said Dad, looking down. "But that's my fault; you learned to bottle your emotions up from me."

"Huh?"

"I never talked to you about Liliana," said Dad, crossing his arms. "Instead I did everything to distract you from what she did...and now, well..."

"It's not your fault," I said, sitting down next to him.

"I guess I did it for me, too," Dad said. "When she left, she hurt us both, and neither of us processed it in a healthy way."