Geeky Turn On!

Beneath the mask

 Saturday, 2 in the morning. At times like these I'm either flicking my bean furiously to Gina Torres or Xena, I'm playing video games, or I'm too deep in thought to bother going to bed. Tonight, I'm too stressed to sleep.

I kept writing April an email to break up with her, but I couldn't get past that first sentence. I know I have to break up with her, and I WANT to. Very, very badly. I mean, I know I've only ever had sex thrice in my life, but even I know that you're not supposed to feel guilty for having sex!

Right?

I sighed; this wasn't working out for me. Maybe it was better to do this in person? I mean, it's kinda cowardly to do this via email or text, right? Yeah, it's cowardly.

I decided to log onto League of Legends, see if DragonLord666 was online. I gasped and smiled; he was! I decided to chat him up immediately.

Me: Yoooo, dude! Long time no talk!

Him: Same, dude. How u been?

Me: Oh, so-so. U?

Him: Yeah, I been gr8. I hooked up w/ somebody.

Me: Rly? Who?

Him: Some chick. We met online. We both like movies.

Me: Sweet. How'd ya hook up with her?

I noticed he took well over a minute to respond, but I saw he was typing the whole time.

Him: It's just the same ol' story, dude. We met online, she said she thought I was attractive and interesting, gave her a shot, and now we're together.

Me: Niiice. Is she The One?

Him: HAHAHA doubt it! Either way, too soon!

Me: Boy do I know how that can suck. I'm breaking up with my girl this weekend.

Him: Wow, why?

Me: The age diff is too big. I'm 34, and she's-

I debated to myself whether I wanted him to know how big of an age difference this was. I finally decided to just be honest.

Me: And she's 18.

Again, he took a whole five minutes to respond. I expected him to be really mad at me.

Him: WHAT THE HECK, DUDE!?

Me: I know.

Him: Dude, you have any idea how gross that is!? When you turned eighteen, she was TWO!!!

Me: I know.

Him: Don't you have any shame!?

Me: All the shame in the world and more. I regret it, dude, I really do. I wish I could turn back time and stop myself from getting involved with her. I wish I could undo the shit I did.

Him: You know you can't.

Me: Right.

Him: Why'd you do it?

I took a deep breath, and began to type away the chat equivalent of word vomit...

Me: I was lonely. I was desperate. I was so happy to have someone like me that way that I did my best to ignore the age gap. Some of my friends told me to go for it because she's legal, but in the end, I can't get over the gap. I hate myself for letting it get this far.

He took a few minutes to reply, making me anxious. My face was wet with tears that wouldn't stop falling down my cheeks.

Him: Dude...

Me: Yeah?

Him: At least you ain't R Kelly, bro. I ain't gonna treat you like I'd treat R Kelly or other losers like him. I did expect better from you, though.