You're not that bad

Unsavoury memories TW -8-

You tossed and turned as you tried to go to sleep, you weren't comfortable but you soon felt yourself fall asleep. You were plagued with the same nightmare again tonight. It felt as if you were awake in your dream, like you were reliving it and you couldn't stop it or wake up.

You were running though the world accompanied by your childhood best friend Athena. You were both thirteen, Athena was a couple months older then you and she never let you forget it. You were headed towards the woods that were on the outskirts of Berk. There were no attacks that night so Athena thought it would be a good idea to go exploring the woods. Even though your fathers words rang in your head you still followed her past the borders of the village and into the thick vegetation.
'The woods are dangerous Kiara, you are forbidden from going in there, ever'
You ignored his words as you followed her deeper and deeper into the woods.
'Hey Kie, watch this, are you ready?' she called out to you as she swung upside down from a tree branch a little ways off the ground.

'Don't fall,' you called out as you watched her. The two of you laughed and ran deeper into the woods, so deep you couldn't hear the hustle and bustle of Berk anymore, but you still knew how to get back home, Because you knew she'd probably had forgotten by now.
'Tag you're it' Athena laughed as she pushed your shoulder and ran behind some trees.
'Hey that's not fair. I wasn't ready' you laughed and chased after her. You could hear her giggled as she ran away from you. As you ran after her, a growl came from behind you and you froze. You could feel that you were being watched, the feeling was so intense that it made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, you also felt your heart speed up.
'Athena, come back' you started to worry as you couldn't hear her giggles anymore.

'Boo' she jumped out from behind a tree and scared you from behind, but her smile fell when she saw your distressed face.
'What's wrong?' she asked.
'I think something is watching us, we need to go, now' you grabbed her hand and you started to walk back home.
You were half of the way back when you heard it again. It came from in front of you this time. You both stopped and clung to each other in fear. It was more clear this time and you instantly knew that it was a dragon, and that you weren't alone.

'Kie, what was that?' Athena asked as she clung to your arm.
'A monstrous nightmare' you spoke, trying to hide your fear but failing miserably. The two of you stopped there, frozen for what felt like hours but nothing happened. It had gotten even darker now, still light enough for you to see but significantly darker. You decided to start walking again, the faster you got back home the safer you would be.

The next thing you knew was that Athena was being ripped from your grip and thrown against a nearby tree. You looked up to see the monstrous nightmare glaring at you. It sliced at you, causing a sharp pain to cover half your face while also causing you to fly back a couple feet into the dirt. You hit the ground with a hard thud and you felt dizzy. It took you a couple seconds to come back to and when you did you saw the dragon towering over Athena.

The fearful look in her eyes when she looked at you. She knew what was happening. She closed her eyes right before the monstrous nightmare picked her up by the jaws and clamped them down around her. Her painful screams filled the surrounding woods until it bit down again, silencing them. You wanted to scream, to cry, do anything but nothing came out, you felt the tears stream down your cheeks but your eyes never closed. It dropped her body back down by the tree before it turned to you. Its teeth now coated red. It didn't attack you though, it just stared into you, as if it could sense your fear.

You could feel the blood running down your face but it didn't bother you, you stared into the creature's eyes to afraid to blink. Too afraid that if you close your eyes even for a second, that you wouldn't open them again. A movement at the corner of your eye caught your attention, it also caught the dragon's eye. It gave you enough time to draw your sword and slice at the creature right in the eyes. You didn't give it enough time to react before you crawled to your feet and bolted towards the village.

You heard the pain filled cries from behind you but you didn't turn back. You couldn't, you could hear it start to come after you. That just made you run faster, you darted through the trees and a light feeling entered your chest as you heard the noise of Berk again. Even at this time of night it was still so busy. Clearly the dragon heard it too, because it stopped. You heard it, and turned around to see. When you did you just saw it there, it was like it was taunting you. Daring you to come back alone again, like it would be waiting for you. You turned back around and ran towards the great hall, you bursted open the doors and ran towards your father.

The hall went silent as the eyes of the vikings inside landed on you. You could hear murmurs and whispers but you ignored them. You pushed past the vikings and ran straight up to your father.
'Kiara what's in Odin's name happened?' he asked as he kneeled the town next to you and engulfed you in a hug.
'You have to help her' you could barely talk, the words almost came out like a whisper. You tugged in your fathers hand and led him through the village. Most of the surrounding vikings armed themselves and followed. You lead them through the woods and to Athena. Who was still on the floor facing away from you.

You ran up to her and dropped to your knees next to her face. As soon as you saw her face you, you felt something break inside of you. It felt as if that dragon had physically ripped through your chest and crushed you from the inside.
'Nooo, no please no!' you yelled as you pulled her into your arms. The surrounding vikings took off their helmets and looked upon you with sorrows in their eyes.
'No why me, why couldn't you take me instead' you cried to yourself as you held her closely to your chest.

Now, you don't need to be seeing this lassie' you felt Gobbers hand on your shoulder but someone shrugged it off.
'She needs closure, she needs to let go on her own' Stoick took his hand off your shoulder but stepped behind you. He knew what it felt like to not be able to say goodbye, and he knew you needed this.
'No please don't leave me, we're not finished yet, please' you sobbed and placed her body back onto the ground.
'Oh Odin why, this isn't happening to me' You placed your hand on both sides of the ground next to her head and looked at her. Taking in all her features for the last time before you stood up. You turned to Stoick, and this was the first time he got a good look at your injuries. He felt his heart jump into his throat as he saw the right ride if your face was all scratched up and bloody and the heartbroken look in your eyes.
'Why me?' was the last thing you said before you felt your knees give way and darkness cloud your vision.

You woke up gasping for air, you placed a hand to the side of your face and felt the old scars. Which for a second their felt brand new again. You whipped the tears that stained your cheeks away and sat up against your headboard. You couldn't save her, you held her lifeless body in your arms, you felt real soul crushing fear and sadness for the first time, that is why you protect Hiccup and the riders the way you do. You don't want to ever feel that again, but you also don't want them to feel anything like that in their lives and you will protect them to the day you die.