Only If

chapter 46 ( trauma)

ARIS's POV

It's been a week, Ellie is sweet in front of our kids, but when only the two of us she's cold and distant. Her face is gloomy. She seldom speaks.

I never heard her cry, but I know, deep inside, she is bleeding.

Every morning she wakes up ahead of me... She makes herself her glass of milk, that's why she wanted to wake up ahead of me, she doesn't like me to prepare her milk.

She will have her morning walks, she never invited me. When I follow her, she will just have her walk in silence.

I feel so hurt, but who should I blame?

One afternoon, I went home to check on Ellie...

"Ma'am Ellie is in the library, sir,"

"Okay,"

I went straight there to see if Ellie was still asleep.

I opened the door carefully not to make a sound, I  might awaken Ellie.

I saw her on the couch asleep, her eyes swollen, with marks of dried tears, and hugging our wedding album.

It breaks my heart... I step towards her...  My feet wobbled which made me kneel. I hugged Ellie and I cried until my cry became weeping which awakened her.

"Aris? What time is it? Did have your dinner?"

"It's just 3oclock in the afternoon,"

"Then why are you here?"

"Am I not allowed to go home early?"

"No... No... I am just surprised... I am used to you going late at night...  How is your family?"

"Family?"

"Yes, your wife might wonder if you will not be with them for dinner,"

"What?"

"Don't worry about us, I told Arra and Ella that do not wait for you for dinner, you are busy,"

There I realized that since I went back from Boracay I never had dinner with them... It's not because I don't like it, I cannot look straight in their eyes. I am so ashamed. I am guilty.

"I don't have any family... And will never have any,"

"Whatever Aris... Whatever... It will hurt more if we fail in our expectations,"

"Anyway, want to have a cup of coffee, I'll prepare for you," Ellie