𝐋𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐥 𝐓𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞 | Fem reader x Gojo Satoru

Professional

*SATORU'S POINT OF VIEW*
He watches as you leave through his front door alone for the second time this week. Raising his hand up to his face, he feels his cheeks damp with tears as he stares unwaveringly at the floor where you were just standing a second ago. Where he had you in his arms. Was that the last time he would ever hold you in that way? Would his last memory of your touch be you thrashing against him and asking him to leave you be?

He looks to the front door, contemplating whether or not he should go after you. 'Get away from me' you had told him. Letting out a strangled yell he falls to his knees by the staircase. How could he have read the situation so wrong? Pressing his head into his hands in an attempt to make his throbbing headache go away, he remembers what he had accused you of.

He told you you were 'just like her', that you had cheated. In reality, he had become what he hated the most. He was the one who cheated, the one who betrayed your trust. Hearing his heart pounding out of his chest as his vision blurs with tears and alcohol, he lifts himself from the floor and enters the living room to find the bags you had dropped on the floor.

He remembers your face when you saw him with the other woman. Pure betrayal. You were here to take care of him, to reconcile with him, and what did he do in return? He broke the two of you apart further. Your kindness was met with his hateful diatribe of false accusations and cruelty, it's impossible for him to even fathom you coming back into his arms now.

He knows that he's broken the most precious thing he's ever had, your relationship. All of it, gone to waste because of his jealousy that wasn't even justified. And that stupid plan of his to get you to catch him cheating. He knew that you would come to his house after you finished work because he was sick. He knew that you would be there for him when he supposedly needed you, so he made sure that you'd see something which equalled the pain he was feeling.

The girl who he had called over was right when she told you that he'd never planned to sleep with her. The reason he had got so drunk in the first place was to lose his inhibitions to even be able to touch another woman in the same way he did you. Despite the pain he was feeling from when he saw you with Suguru, he still had to be intoxicated to be able to push you out of his mind and give you the retribution he had believed you needed.

But it all backfired. Too scared of being hurt again, too quick to judge your actions based on his past experiences. He looked past everything you'd done, everything you'd said to him for the past few weeks and fell into his old ways of believing no one could stay with him, that no one could love him. Seeing the picture you'd got for him was his final straw. He remembers that night the two of you shared, the way you smiled, the way you'd told each other you loved one another.

It was the happiest he'd ever been, and you'd encapsulated it into a painting only to disregard it as 'meaningless' after he betrayed your trust. Satoru believes that he will never be as happy as he was with you ever again, and it's all his fault.

*Y/N'S POINT OF VIEW*
I lie in my bed, wondering what Satoru must be thinking right now. All the days we spent together... were they really overridden by his jealousy? Was what we had really so weak to him that he could just sleep with another woman like that? If so, he was able to get rid of his feelings for me far too quickly.

That's not right though. He hasn't got rid of his feelings for me. I remember his distressed face when I attempted to push him away, when I attempted to create distance between us by not letting him touch me. I know what he went through with his ex must have been hard, but it's not fair that he projected his assumptions about her onto me.

I allow a tear to fall down the side of my face before I wipe it away angrily and hit my fist into my pillow, just as I had done onto Satoru's chest under an hour ago. How could he have been so stupid!?

After falling asleep consumed with rage and sadness, I wake the next day with the worst case of puffy eyes I've ever seen. Not only am I sleep deprived, but I've also been crying a lot.

I splash my face with cold water in an attempt to wake myself up and feel something other than this looming sadness I've been haunted by even in my dreams. My life outside of work may have gone to shit, but that doesn't mean I can let it affect my professional life. I raise my head to look in the mirror as I see my face dripping with icy droplets.

The problem is, Satoru isn't just my life outside of work. He's unavoidable in the office too. I laugh to myself when I remember that I'd done his work for him the day he was 'sick'. The day that he was with another woman. I can't tell anyone. I can't tell anyone that it ended like this.

It's not that I want to spare Satoru of the judgement, it's that I can't stand the pity I'll receive. I don't want people knowing I was humiliated like this. Knowing that whilst I was slaving away in the office he was cheating on me, the embarrassment would just be too much. Pathetic, isn't it?

I let out a strangled sob as I splash my face again, attempting to prepare myself for a whole day of hiding my broken heart. Although I know it's not just going to be a day, it's going to be like this for the foreseeable future.

Finally in control of my breathing again I pat my face dry with a towel as I stare down at the sink numbly. After getting ready for work I enter my kitchen and my eyes are unwillingly drawn over to the painting that's leaning up against the far wall. I look away quickly. Even though it's covered by sheets of bubble wrap, I don't even want to be reminded of what the picture shows.

As I take a sip of my coffee I remember what I had told Satoru yesterday evening. 'Meaningless' is what I had called the painting. I look back over to it, falling victim to my memories as I put my coffee down on the counter and walk over to it.

I stand before the covered canvas before tentatively kneeling down next to it and carefully peeling back a piece of tape which is holding the bubble wrap in place. I pull the covering back slightly, just to reveal the canvas partially. The right side of the painting is revealed, and I see myself. I see me, smiling, and an anonymous hand holding a slice of pizza to my lips.

I put my hand to my mouth as I see the expression on my face. My fingers holding the bubble wrap tremble, meaning I'm unable to pull back the wrapping any further. I don't want to see his face. I let the wrapping go and it falls back over the painting once again, enveloping the painted me in a white plastic haze as it does so. Smoothing out the tape over the corner of the picture with my shaking hands, I run my fingertips over it repeatedly.

I wish I could seal away my memories of Satoru just as I can this painting. I wish I could block them from my mind just as I can hide this painting from my sight.

Raising myself up from my crouched position, I smooth out my skirt before putting on my jacket. Professional. That's what I've always been. That's what I'll be today. I can't afford to let my personal feelings get in the way of work. I don't care if it tears me apart from the inside, I'll willingly shut away my feelings just to remain professional.

Just to save face I'll make sure that no one knows the specifics of what happened between Satoru and me. I can't believe I trusted him, even with his dreadful reputation. To anyone on the outside looking in, I'll come off as a complete fool if they knew that Satoru cheated on me. I don't think I could bear their pity.