The Aftermath of Callie and Arizona

Either Sink, Or, You've Got To Swim

Arizona's POV:

It was the second night Madelyn was sick with what we suspected was the flu. I had summarily crashed early that night, directly after dinner. After barely sleeping the previous 24 hours, I had zero problems falling asleep that evening.

Apparently neither did the rest of my family, because when I was awoken, sometime around 3 am, Callie and Sophia were both snoring away. 

Soph's legs had become active during her slumber and she had unconsciously started kicking my right leg a few times. Thus the reason I was up, or I wonder how much longer I could have slept? Oh well, with my insomnia, the five continuous hours I had just gotten, was epic in and of itself.

After putting on my prosthetic, I got up to check on Maddy. She was sleeping, but was congested and not breathing the best. Not wanting to disturb her, I decided to grab my phone and tablet and headed to the kitchen. I could tell I was going to be up for a while, so I decided to bring my personal devices, just in case I needed something to do besides stare at the kitchen wall. 

We'd "learned" many weeks ago that no good came from looking out our kitchen window at odd hours of the night! While sitting at the table, I was busy musing to myself about the Ari/Renee treehouse incident, but only because everything had worked out. Trust me when I say there is no way I'd be laughing about Ari seeing Renee make out with her ex-wife, if Ari and Renee weren't back together.

We already had taken the day off in order to care for Madelyn, so, as I sat staring at the wall, at least I knew I didn't have any pressure to be alert for patient care in a few hours. 

Now, what to do with all my unexpected free time at this ungodly hour in the morning...? It's the age old problem many insomniacs have... how does one occupy their time when the rest of the world around you is most likely asleep? Being as skilled as I am with sleepless nights, that was not an issue for me.

I think my ease with finding how to spend my insomniac waking hours started in my childhood, but hospital life definitely helped solidify it. I'd like to think I'm someone that is generally good at taking care of myself, for the most part. I truly believe that is how I've been able to cope on limited sleep all these years. Since I can recall, I've always been, 'self-sufficient,' or at least that's how my Mom has always described me. 

My brother, Tim, although smart, lacked focus and organizational skills. Which, was always a mystery to me as those skills came naturally and easy to me. My Mom constantly needed to 'henpeck' Tim (her colloquialism, not mine) to make sure he got to school, did his homework, cleaned his room, etc. 

On the flip side, I was always organized (to the point of a fault), neat, punctual, etc. Basically, I was the antithesis to Tim, which he solidly hated, but what's new between an older brother and a younger sister? Sibling rivalry comes in many forms.

Sitting in the dim light of the early morning, I started ruminating about how frequently I think of Tim as if he were still here. I sometimes have to stop myself from thinking that way, but then realize, what's the harm? I know he is gone, but at certain moments, thinking about him still being with me, is reassuring. I had been thinking about him a lot recently, since I realized Madelyn has the same cowlick in her hair, that Timothy had. 

The patch of unruly hair in question, is on the front, left side, directly at her hairline. It makes it impossible (with her current hair length) to get that spot to lay flat, it just refuses to. Every time I see it though, that spot on her head reminds me of my brother. It almost makes it feel like that was his addition to Maddy's family genetics from beyond the grave. It's like Tim wanted me to have a daily reminder that he was still with me. I'm not going to lie though, from time to time, the thought also makes me tear up.