Will We Talk?

12- Pride

I woke up the Monday after the festival feeling shattered and hungover from the whole weekend. I hadn't slept properly since Friday night, apparently dozing off on our camping chairs when we had a break every now and again. Honestly, I wasn't surprised at how bad I felt, but past me had decided to go into work straight away.

I cursed myself the whole day for not calling in sick, but I was one strike away from being sacked. Being sacked wasn't something I could cope with at these times, especially without Sam here to guide me.

As much as I was proud of Sam, I was slightly annoyed that he didn't wait for me. But we weren't actually seeing, so why should he have waited? My body yearned for his touch again as I felt my self esteem spiralling without him here.

Straight after work, I had scheduled an appointment with Cassie that I wished I could've cancelled, but nowadays I couldn't trust myself. I couldn't trust myself around the stray alcohol in the back of my fridge. I couldn't trust myself not to starve myself as no one was home to keep me in tact.

Overall, my session went better than expected as Cassie completely understood my position, just coming from a festival and all. One of her questions was if I had gotten high when I was away. Luckily, I hadn't, but I found it extremely difficult to back away from the drink.

Cassie wasn't stressed about this, though. Instead she told me that she was proud. Proud that I could now drink to have a good time, rather than to feel numb and shit afterwards. Well, whenever you have alcohol, you're bound to feel shit afterwards anyways.

*****

Cassie: Great session today, want to see u on Friday if ur free but be quick as I'm filling up quick this week x

Evelyn: Will check the work schedule tmo and let u know, thanks for putting up with my groggy mood tn x

Cassie: It's nothing I'm not used to, keep up the good work. Drop me a msg if ur feeling down at all this week x

*****

All that week, I had absolutely nothing to keep me enertained: no Sam, no Rylee and Fran, no alcohol, no power.

More than once, I found myself at the gym. Who knew a lass in recovery would ever join a gym? Certainly not me.

PE had sort of traumatised me in school- all of those early mornings being forced to run laps in wind, rain and hail. All while the teachers stood in their massive puffer coats.

Something had been catching my eye while I was at the gym. Or should I say I was catching his eye?

"You're new." came a voice from behind me as I finished my rep of leg extentions.

I pulled my headphones from my head, "You don't say." I laughed before placing my headphones back over my ears, no music playing.

I took a breath in, preparing for my next set.

I completed the set.

"Care for a tour?" the man said again.

"I'm good, cheers." I replied, taking a sip of water and walking to the treadmill to do my cool down.

"Why have I never seen you?" he pestered.

I stopped, whipping my head round towards him, "Didn't we clarify that I'm new here? That might answer your question." I hissed at him, more aggressive than I intended.

"Feisty, I like that." he smirked.

I was revolted. Could he not just leave me alone? Not every woman wants a buff gym freak who's shaped like a dorito to follow her around. Instead, she might want a man who's lanky and loves music and guitars to be there with her.

I ignored him.

"Can I take you out sometime?" he plead.

"If you haven't took the hint, no. I'm ignoring you for a reason. And I'm sorry for bruising your ego that's quite unusually larger than your chest. So, please, leave me alone." I ranted.

"If I leave you alone, will you at least go out for a drink with me?"

"Let me think, no. My boyfriend wouldn't be very happy."

"Boyfriend? Who's the lucky man?" he grimaced.

"I'm done talking to you, goodbye sir." I spat before doing a 10 minute inclined walk.

As I sat in my car, it dawned on me that I'd called Sam my boyfriend. I don't think I've ever went a darker shade of red than the one I went in my car. Although nobody was around, I had still humiliated myself. The worst of it was that Sam seemed to be having a great time in London, not having texted me in a while. For all I know, he could've been sleeping with other girls while I stayed here, hung up over him like a sad puppy.

Even the thought made me mad.

That was until I got home and had a text from a geezer I'd never seen before, yet I recognised.

deanedwardthompson: Hiya, Evelyn. I'm Sam's best mate, before u get confused, I wanted to know what u felt abt coming down here for a week or so. I can't lie, Sam isn't feeling brilliant and although he hasn't mentioned anything, u can tell he's out of it. Give me a text if u fancy it.

Evelyn.Vic: Lush of u to text, Dean. Must be why he's not been texting or replying to me, makes more sense now. I'll have to sort shifts out at work and figure out where to stay and stuff, then I'll let you know. Tell Sam to ring me when he's up to it :)

deanedwardthompson: Good to hear, I'll tell him to ring u. Theres a couple rooms spare in the hotel we r at so we can get u a room here, on the band, of course. Dont tell him I told u but the last week hes been going on abt u nonstop ;).

Evelyn.Vic: Yous honestly dont have to, I can pay for myself. I give yous permission to tease him about me. If he doesnt ring, pls keep me updated on him, I've been proper worried about him all week.

deanedwardthompson: God, its only been one week? Feels like a lifetime with him moping around. Cheers again, cant wait to meet u x

Evelyn.Vic: Aye, same goes. All the best to yous x

Well, now I guess I was heading to London soon.

As I knew I was on my last strike of taking holidays, I figured I'd have to work double in the lead up to Christmas. Honestly, I didn't care, the urge to be with Sam was bigger than ever after Dean had texted me.