Will We Talk?

57- Improved (Sam)

Sam's POV:

She looked so pretty even in just her pyjamas, but I had to resist saying anything out of respect for both her and my own boundaries. Neither of us were ready to go back to where we were yet, and I was alright with that. Slow and steady wins the race.

I wish I was slow and steady when drinking last night, but no, I overfilled myself again and made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Luckily, she just seemed to shrug it off, but it stayed in my head, picking out the humiliation and guilt for randomly showing up. To be honest, I remember nothing but mam told me everything- how she was about to have a panic attack because of me.

When I came around to collect my stuff, I wasn't exactly expecting the welcome I had actually received. I was expecting her to shy away from me and avoid all social cues. Yet here we were talking about the goings on of life. You'd never imagine it was over a week ago that we'd split- its like she brings out the good in me, no matter the type of relationship.

I wish we were in a relationship, but friendship seemed quite nice to me at the minute. If it meant I could still see her, then it's always alright.

"How you coping with the ankle? Y'kna you can ring is if you need any help." I offered, genuinely concerned for her as she hobbled around the kitchen.

"Aye, its getting there. It's just proper annoying having a cast in the way of everything." she complained, "But I do have an appointment next Wednesday to see if I can have a moon boot, which I'm fucking hoping they let me."

"Well, if you need a lift over or owt, I'm a call away." I reassured, taking a sip of my tea, "You're not mad at me, are you?"

"Sam, I'm not ever mad at you. I can't be mad at you." she sighed, back against the bench, "Listen, I just think it's best if we stay close pals for now. It won't be awkward for anyone."

It confused me as to why she said that as I hadn't implied to ask about our relationship. I didn't disagree with her, though. It's way too soon to just leave everything behind and start again. We need to properly reconcile before we go any further with this.

There's one thing, however, that's been gnawing at me, "What are people gonna do if they find out?"

"Well, they're gonna have to decipher that themselves." she informed, "I think I'm going to have a break from socials for a while. I'm in need of it."

"Aye. Treat yourself."

We pottered around each other for the rest of that morning, a few moments we got dead close and felt as though something would happen. I could see the lust in her eyes too, not just mine. The more we wait, the better it'll be if we do ever get back together.

"I'm gonna head off now, Eves." I explained walking from the bathroom.

She was sat with her back turned towards me as she sat on the settee, but she mustn't have realised I was behind her.

"Evelyn?" I said a little louder than before, this time alerting her. She turned around and her eyes were bloodshot from supposedly crying, "You crying?" I stupidly asked. Obviously she'd been crying, you absolute mug.

She let out a strangled wail as I made my way towards her as fast as I could, pulling her into my arms when I got next to her. Her face was soaked in tears as she buried it into my chest, soaking my shirt, but I didn't mind. I liked how she still trusted me when she was in a vulnerable state like this.

"What's up with you? What you upset for?"

She shook her head and sniffed, "I just feel bad. You're too good to have let go of." I dried her tears with my thumbs, "I miss us. Like how we used to be. What went wrong?"

"We rushed things, I think." I admitted, holding her hand in mine, "I'm fine being friends. You're always going to be a big part of my life and you know that, yeah?"

"Aye." she sniffled, "Sam, I know this'll hurt you a bit but I need to say it." she gulped.

"Go ahead."

"I love you." she whispered.

I wanted to spin her around, twirl my hair, fling my legs back and forth, tell her I felt the same, but I just nodded and smiled. There was no way I was going to make her feel uncomfortable in this circumstance. Although, she was right, it did break me a little. But knowing she still had those feeling for me deep down confirmed that there was a future for us.

"I'll see you later on, Evie." I yelled over stacked boxes.

"Aye, ta-rah, Sam." she exclaimed back.

"Take care." I shut the front door and locked it, heading towards Ronnie's car.

He was probably wondering what took me so long, and I honestly don't blame him. Initially, I claimed I'd be five minutes maximum, but he'd stayed like the saint he is.

"What time d'ya call this kid?" he asked jokingly as I loaded my stuff into the back.

"Sorry, we just had a little talk." I laughed, "Things are looking good, mate."

He smiled and nodded before pulling away, "You think?"

"Aye, we've agreed to let time take its course, see where it gets us." I informed him.

"Makes sense."

*****

Suddenly, my mam hugged me as I sat down to have my supper, with a super gleeful look on her face. She pressed a kiss to my temple before walking into the living room. Ronnie must've told her about me and Evie being on talking terms. She was probably surprised I managed to have a civilised conversation while in the hungover state I was in. Now that I knew Evie and I were on talking terms, I just felt that I was going to limit on my alcohol consumption.

Improvements were being made already.