Will We Talk?

Prologue

Ever since I was young, I'd always dreamed that I would find my prince charming and would've settled down with him by the time I was 23. But false hope comes with being from the North East. To be honest, I had fooled myself that that'd happen with my, now, ex. However, when I unfortunately miscarried earlier this year, he didn't like how I was incapable of carrying a child which 'should be easy' since 'that's what my body's made for'.

It does hurt, I must admit, but things were starting to become off with him anyways. For example: his work schedule became later and later as I got further into pregnancy. I might've been pregnant, but my baby brain hadn't got that bad by then.

We met in primary school when he moved from Scotland to North Shields. It was sort of an enemies to lovers thing, except for there not being a happy ending by the end of our relationship. There was many times where I'd kicked him or punched him for being a misogynist, even at that age, but I'd never taken that as the red flag I should have took him for.

Looking back, I really do see how toxic our relationship was when we had first gotten back together; we seemed to follow the constant cycle of argue, have make up sex, apologise and go back to normal. No wonder I got pregnant at 23.

Luckily, throughout this hard period, I had friends and family to keep my mind off things. In other words, they restricted me from becoming a spiralling mess who just drank every night. Everything just felt like it was turning against me but I knew being best mates with Fran and Rylee would help me.

Rylee and I have been friends since we went to nursery together, immediately causing trouble together. Since then, we've always been there to back each other up. Safe to say that we'd been in a fair few physical fights and small brawls over the younger years. That was until we went into secondary school and met Fran who just calmed everything down with us, but I'd always have my short temper and it really shows in my adult years.

My relationship with my family was great. I was close with both of my siblings and I appreciated the fact that I was the only girl. The twins (Bradley and Bailey) are 5 years older than me and will always have my life, and I've accepted that. Things did change last year, though, when Bradley accidentally came out to us both. If anything, its brought us all closer and I've became much more overprotective of the pair since then.

Mam and dad always fought but stayed together "for the sake of the kids" but I think it just made it harder when we were growing up. Now, after three kids moving out, they were still together and actually better than they were before.

I've always been daddy's girl, it comes with being the only daughter, but I have never taken that for granted and pushed my luck. I love mam but I argued with her a lot in my teenage years, so I sort of stay away from her to keep out of trouble. Occasionally, I'll take her on a mother-daughter coffee date or she'll take me out shopping in the city centre. Either way, I'll always love her- I'll always love them both.

Love is a massive concept that I'm unsure I'll ever be able to grasp.