Will We Talk?

20- Questions

What was meant to be a night spent with family, making memories for a lifetime, soon became another night in with Sam by my side. Not that I was complaining, because I wasn't, but I'd like to spend time with family here and there considering I rarely ever see them.

The 5 minute wait went by quick- Sam and I went down to dance around with the others for a little while. I lifted my nan from her chair as 'Come on Eileen' began to play, immediately lifting my whole family to their feet. We formed a circle, my nan right in the middle as she spun around, effing and blinding at us all.

Smiling was a common thing to see me do nowadays, but this smile was something else- it felt special, genuine.

It was time to go and check the test but I wasn't ready. So, to push time away, I handed Sam Zander and I held onto Zara, placing her on my hip and my hand supporting her head. 'Proud Mary' started to play over the speakers as I recalled all the times that my own godmother held me in her arms, dancing with me to this song.

As the rhythm increased, Sam and I started to jump around, but not too much to harm the babies. I felt carefree and uplifted, like a balloon.

*****

"Howay darlin, we canny be holding it off for this long." Sam whispered, guiding me to my room via holding my lower back.

"You ready?" I said as we got to my room, hand hovering over the three tests I had took.

"Whenever you are." he smiled, rubbing my back.

"Good, because that's never." I joked, him nudging me lightly.

I took a long breath, preparing myself for what was to come. My hands became shaky and clammy, but that's my bodies' instinct when I'm nervous.

Negative.

Negative.

Negative.

Exhaling in relief, I looked up at Sam who just smiled. He took me in his arms, kissing me a thousand times before pulling me back downstairs.

Immediately, Zara threw herself towards Sam's arms. Seeing him taking such good care of my godchildren made me feel so broody. But neither of us were ready yet, we were both so young and we had a long future ahead of us.

*****

"So, what's the damage?" Sam asked, removing his shirt, staying shirtless as he tucked himself into my bed.

I gave him a questioning look. Damage? What had he done that would create damage?

"Did your family like is? Was I a hit?" he explained.

"Ah, right." I snorted at my slowness, "Aye, they all thought you're proper canny. Especially Nana, and if she approves of you, so does the whole family."

"Good, that's good." he mumbled, seeming to be deep in thought.

The two of us cuddled in safe silence, before I cut it off, my thoughts getting the better of me.

"What would you have done if I was pregnant?"

"Committed. Whatever you wanted to do, I'd have stuck by your side. Obviously I want kids, but its still a bit soon for me y'kna."

"Aye, I get you." I lay a soft kiss on his forehead.

"What do you think about moving in together?"

"Sam, we practically live together just in two houses." I sniggered, then realised he was serious, "You being for real?"

"Aye, would you want to move in with is?" he asked.

Is this how it felt when you get engaged? Because I felt how I imagined that would feel.

"Silly question, don't you think." I gushed.

"I'm not trying to rush into things, but it just feels right. We could start looking during Christmas time? I have tons of time off then." he suggested.

"Well I'm doing tons of overtime in the lead up to Christmas, so we can do some searching on the weekends."

"Sounds class." he said, wiggling around to make himself comfortable, "Also, when were you going to tell me you did ballet?"

Uh oh. Had mam been showing Sam all of the photos and videos while I was taking care of the kids? I fucking hope she didn't show him the one of me on the bar for the first time.

He sensed my alarm, immediately laughing at me, "My favourite photo was the one where you have your leg on that thing."

Great. Just great. Thanks mam.

"Oh really? Can't wait until I see mam again." I seethed.

"Don't take it out on her, I asked. It was also quite obvious by your room that you did ballet." he mentioned.

Then I remembered my pointe shoes that hung on the headboard of my bed. Not only that but I had many trophies from competitions, exams and all that jazz. I didn't willingly do ballet, it was just a compromise so that I could also do football. Mam wanted to keep me as much a girl as she could with already having boys, but I made that hard for her up until I was 15.

Turns out, I wasn't the best at football but instead being an undercover ballerina. As soon as I was 16, I packed both of them in, turning to musicals. Musical theatre was great, it helped with my mental health tons, but being on the stage was too much for me.

So, yes, I was one of those kids who were thrown into every possible club mam and dad would sign me up for. I was their last opportunity of raising a child, so they had to do it great, I guess.

"Were you any good?" he questioned.

"Mam has some videos on a USB somewhere, I'll find it next time I do her big house clean. I didn't just do ballet."

"No?"

"Nah, I didn't really like it. Did football and musical theatre in all." I admitted.

"As if." he gasped in shock, "Does that mean you can sing then? I've only ever heard you hum."

"Sort of, aye. Nowhere near as class as you though." I chuckled, stroking his hair.

"Humble me, please." he said, jokingly flicking 'hair' behind his shoulders.