Will We Talk?

71- Behaviour

I'm unsure how long I'd been asleep on Sam for, but he's quite a comfy soul so I'm happy he was the one I'd fell asleep on. As I gained back consciousness, I felt his head on mine and a loud tapping noise came from his phone screen, making me have a peek at what he was doing.

"Work never stops, eh?" I croaked, snuggling further into the man, revelling in his warmth, "What's up?"

"Divnt kna. Nervous? Excited?" he replied, tossing the phone onto the seat next to him, "Did you have a nice kip?"

"Decent, aye. Would've been nicer if I actually had a bed, you'll suffice though." I stretched my body out, letting the ache of my sleeping position settle, "You're a funny colour darlin'."

"What?" he gulped, "I'm fine, promise."

I placed a hand on his cheek, rubbing my thumb against it, "You're gonna be just fine man Sam, when aren't you?"

"Just... pack it in- please- I'm good so stop asking." he slowly snapped, making me certain he was far from good. I know Sam better than he knows himself, sometimes, and I am highly aware he is lying to me. All I simply did was nod my head and walk away from the situation, letting both him and I calm down. After all, I was post-nap, and post-nap Evie can be a little feral.

At the time, we were in some hotel in France literally moments away from heading to the Netherlands, and it felt quite strange being away from home with the group of lads. As fun as their craic was, I feel equally as bad for practically abandoning my family in such a bad time. Sometimes, I felt left out of the loop and considered going home, almost yearning to be back home and in the comfort of North Shields. Without Cassie with me, I took it upon myself to limit my alcohol intake to two bottles or cans or pints per day, not knowing when I'd next spiral out of control.

Just before everything cascaded downwards, I was beginning to sleep again and just not think about being assaulted that night, no matter how much that face tortured me. Everything was going so well for us all, getting along and making happier memories than other less positive ones we'd created, and I'm always the one to change things and fuck it all up when we don't need it to be tattered with. These negative feelings I constantly have is what's gnawing at me to have a drink, soothing myself for a while, but would it be worth it in the end? I think we all know that answer to that one.

Mam had been keeping me updated with Yvonne, letting me know every minuscule detail- she knows I'd get vexed if she told me anything but. I'm unsure with how she's coping with Zara and Zander, but I don't entirely trust she's taking care of herself. Currently, I don't see the problem with heading back home seeing Sam the way he is: I should've remembered what he was like touring with Catfish last year and the mileage between us both physically and mentally.

Maybe a rockstar's bird isn't the way for me to be. I guess I'm not made to live this kind of lifestyle, and that's what makes me feel so out of it.

It must've been a while since I'd left the arms of Sam, hearing a whole load of commotion and shouting coming from the building behind me. Like the pessimistic bitch I am, I ended up deciding to walk in and just test the waters, preparing for the absolute worst. As I'd expected, there was some friction between Sam and Joe.

"Shurrup, yous are embarrassing us, I could hear yous from oot there." I pointed outside, giving each of them a smack over the head as I stormed in, "Mebbies that'll knock some fucking sense into yous."

"What's the matter with your boat?" Tom asked me as I sat on the foyer's settee and tossed my head back.

"Nowt."

"There's something up, Evelyn. I might not know you well, but I can tell when someone's out of sorts." the bassist warned, "Let's be honest, who will I tell?"

"Fair point." I murmured, completely trusting the man adjacent, "I love Sam, but this travelling business is hard."

"I feel the same." he admitted, his elbows finding his knees and leaning into them.

"Hadaway and shite do ya'." I chuckled.

"I'm being serious." he sighed, "I always feel like that, but I've committed now, and I can't do anything about it."

"Aye?"

"Aye." he waited a moment, "You'll get used to it, darlin'. If I am, then you certainly will."

For being a geezer who I'd never properly spoke to before, or been emotionally in touch with, I feel like I know a hell of a lot more about him as a person. He's one of those people you click with straight away and feel like you've known them for years. I stayed sat beside him until Sam came over and pulled us both up.

His eyes were red raw and deep circles located themselves around his eyes. The man was either high or tired, no in-between. His hair was sticking up in all different directions, that I flattened out of goodwill. As I did so, his arms slithered around my waist, "I fuckin love you." he nuzzled his head into my neck.

"Likewise." I mentioned, wrapping an arm around him, trying to get him from clinging onto me, "Sam." I groaned as he didn't budge.

"Hm?"

"We've got places to be babes, howay." I stroked his head once more, "I'm not playing Sammy boy."

"I'm sorry." he sulked as we walked hand-in-hand to the bus.

"For what? Are you on something Sam?"

"The fuck? No!" he scoffed, "Who do you think I am? I'm just sorry for this morning s'all."

"Sam, you needed space, I don't mind giving you that."

"But I want you around all the time." he wined.

"Reet you sound like a bairn now." I snorted, stepping into the bus as guided by his hand.

"I've got a question." he said after a while, obviously becoming increasingly nervous while his feet kicked whatever was around.

Honestly, was I in the mood? Abso-fucking-lutely not. However, I nodded my head to allow him to ask me the question.

"Want to go on a date?" he mumbled, almost inaudible yet making me smile.

"Can't hear ya'." I whispered.

"Do you want to go on a date with me when we're in Germany?" he asked again, fiddling with his fingers.

"I suppose so." I sarcastically replied, "My schedule isn't too busy."

He exhaled, softening his once tense and unsteady demeanour, pulling me into him and kissed my lips lightly.

"That why you've been shitting yourself all day?" he nodded, "You're a reet plonker man."

"Yeah, yeah. But I've done it and we are going so that's that." he smiled, "I proper fancy you y'kna."

"Well who doesn't?" I boasted, flicking my curls behind my shoulders.

"Fuck me, do yous ever keep your hands off each other? By the way, Sam, you have PR to do when we get to Germany." Dean commented as he stepped into the bus, looking at us like we were scum.

"Which day?" Sam inquired.

"The one that's not your birthday." Dean responded, "I take it she said she'd go then?" he smiled.

My body froze, my eyebrows joining at the top of my nose as a broad smile washed over my face, "So this was planned? Not spontaneous?" I giggled, "Sammy boy, I didn't realise how childlike you could get."

"He's not changed since secondary man, right pussy." Dean added, making Sam's face turn an odd shade.

"Aw, let's leave him alone, he's went all red." I pouted jokingly, holding my hand on his cheek and kissing the other.

Well, it's safe to say that the man was pissed for the rest of the journey to the Netherlands. He didn't try and make conversation with me or Dean or Owain or Drew- literally everyone on that bus. Dean and I couldn't help but laugh at his strop, constantly mouthing stuff at each other about him. Long story short, we were practically bullying him in front of his face, but it was lighthearted tomfoolery so nothing should occur from it.

And, fortunately, it didn't.