Will We Talk?

38- Thoughts

Sam's POV:

I manoeuvred myself to block her path as she stormed away from the window and towards the commotion that was going on outside. The whole house shook in her anger. She had a look on her face that I hadn't ever seen before and it honestly made me panic. Her eyes were practically bulging out of her head, and the tops of her ears were washed with a slight scarlet- I wouldn't have been shocked if steam began to billow from them.

"Fucking watch it man." she ordered, making my eyes widen and heart thud at how aggressive she was being. It scared me to see her the way she was being, especially as I hadn't done anything wrong. My heart was in my throat as she pushed passed me, slamming the door upon her exit.

Rubbing my shoulder she'd just nearly knocked out of place, I ran to the bedroom, throwing the closest hoodie on, whether it was dirty or not, and sprinted out to go see what she would do. Hopefully, I'd stop her from doing anything she regretted.

But seeing this side of her really made me wonder if she was always like this, if the way she usually acts is all a facade. She'd hurt me upstairs, but I was still going to protect her over anything. Would she do the same for me though?

When I stepped outside from the lobby, she had an accusing finger pointed into the man's chest as her body was flush against his. Her eyes looked terrifying, if I was him, I'd have ran away by now out of complete shame and fear.

He was much taller than her- much taller than me, even- so I was shocked when she wasn't threatened by his body. His eyes were dark and his nose was hooked towards the end. It was clear to see that he was mortal: the way he was swaying, the way his hands shook for more alcohol to be consumed, the way his eyes were a bloodshot red- I'd been there before. It disturbed me to know that Evelyn once looked into those eyes lovingly, the way she looks into mine. But the look in her eyes didn't show lust like they did a few minutes ago, they were stern and harsh- like the eyes your mam would give you after swearing at her or something.

"Don't hurt me." he pleaded, causing a wave of laughter from Evie.

What was once like music to me, became like a melancholic symphony as her laugh reverberated into the night sky. That wasn't a normal laugh- she was hurting, fighting back tears.

Slowly, I made my way towards the pair as I heard her scream, "Don't ever fucking say shit like that to me again, alright? You ruined me, Joseph. Ruined me! Yet here I am, actually making an effort to recover and moving on with my life." while punching the man's stomach.

So this was Joseph? The man who hurt her. The man who used her to his advantage. The man who I had to shake off the urge to batter as it seemed Evelyn was fine doing it herself.

"Aye, with that new lad of yours. Bet you get your money off him. I hope you don't give him kids." he taunted, pointing at me and smirking.

Ohhhh shit. He knew what he was doing. If I could've, I would've knocked him out right there and then. How dare he mention anything about my financial state, he has zero right to do so. No matter if I was doing better now, it struck a nerve whenever someone brought up money, and to hear this bitch say something about it completely enraged me. No wonder Evelyn was so vexed.

"Bringing my boyfriend into it? Really mature, Joseph. Grow a set of fucking balls and move on with your life, I'm done with you. Since day one, you hurt me, physically and emotionally. But Sam? He's better than you ever were. So do one." she stuck up for me, making me feel proud of her.

I watched her as she dropped to her knees following his grand escape and I was quick to crouch down and comfort her. Meanwhile, the rest of the neighbourhood stood cheering for her. They all knew her. They knew us. The knew them. They had front row tickets to whatever shit went down with the two of them prior to my arrival. I wasn't shocked when everyone approached her to comfort her, but I could handle this one.

She looked up at me with glossy eyes. Those eyes I loved staring into. Those eyes that caused me to be in a trance whenever I so much as scan over them. As much as I wanted to comfort her, she petrified me, I was shaking like a fucking leaf. I could tell she felt bad, but I had to prioritise her over me at this moment in time, no matter how dumbfounded I was. After all, her ex had just came and shared some nasty words with her.

It was understandable to see her feeling that way.

"I'm so sorry." she choked, placing a hand onto my cheek.

As her hand hit the warmth of my face, I flinched at the feeling of her ice cold hands radiating into my body, immediately giving me goosebumps. I placed my hand over hers, trying to share all the body heat I could, and lifted her from her knees. She gave everyone a slight smile and apologised to everyone as we made our way back to the flat, most people shrugged it off and congratulated her for what she did, but the odd mother with a child in bed scolded her. I could tell she was feeling embarrassed.

When we got into the flat, no words were shared until we got into bed. I switched the TV on in the hopes that it'd rock me to sleep. To be honest, I didn't know how to feel towards Evie, she'd hurt me while in the process of trying not to hurt herself. But I understood why she did what she did. It was a conflict I had to battle as I turned my back to her in the comfort of the bed. I closed my eyes in the hopes that I'd fall asleep as soon as possible.

Her chin met my shoulder, and I tried to keep my eyes shut, "You're not fooling anyone, Fender. I can tell you're awake."

Guiltily, I turned my body to face her. She was sat, legs crossed and her curls were set free, flowing to her mid back. The bags under her eyes were huge but that might just be because she was crying not too long ago.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. It was a heat of the moment thing." she began and I let her continue, "That man brings the worst out of me, he always has, and I fear he always will." her eyes looked into her lap, fiddling with the ring I'd given her earlier on in the day, "In no way am I excusing myself, but please just know that I don't often do that type of shit."

I sat in silence as she wallowed in self pity and regret.

"I've fucked it up, on Christmas day in all." she scoffed at herself.

I literally had no words. I didn't know what to do, what to say.

"Say something, anything." she begged, finally looking into my eyes, "Sam, please."

There was lots of silence while I tried to find the correct words to say in order for me to not worsen the situation or her mood. The fuck was I meant to say?

"Sorry." she sighed, getting up from the bed, running a hand down her face.

Say something quick, Sam. Before you fuck it all up even more.

"Don't be so daft." I remarked, causing her to turn back at me the fastest I've ever seen her move, "Get back in here you div."

She let out a sigh, hand placed on her heart, and practically ran back into the bed. Her cold body soon warmed up as we cuddled into one another.

"Don't worry about me." I tutted, pulling her further into my side.

What I wanted to say was please do consider what I was thinking, take care of me because I don't want to fall back into my old habits.

"Now you're the div, of course I'll worry about you." she chuckled.

God, it was like music to my ears to hear her laugh again.