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Chapter | Twenty Six

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Chapter | Twenty Six

I had successfully gotten into my apartment that night. Without getting disturbed, I had even gone as far as not turning on the lights in my own apartment when I entered. Just to make sure he wouldn't come.

I wasn't ready to listen to him, I was almost there. But not yet, I needed to dwell a little longer. So, I started out small.

I invited Clara over the next day, deciding that we needed to talk about it, which I could handle, but Taron was another story. Not yet, that was all I told her.

She had explained how she at the beginning thought I knew who Taron was. Then when she understood that I didn't know, she saw how happy I was.

"I couldn't bring myself to tell you, so I confronted him instead. I only saw genuine intentions from his side, yes he started out badly. I don't want to tell you his reasons, you're gonna have to ask him. But I saw how happy you were, and fuck Iz–I hadn't seen you this happy since you were 20. I couldn't do it and I'm sorry that I kept it from you this long" She apologized.

"When you saw me at Taron's door back then, you pushed him out because you thought something was going on between us, you were wrong–I was there because you had been on a date and a fan had posted you two on the internet, I went there to scold him. Literally, all mom style. I told him that if he wouldn't be more careful he had to tell you otherwise I would have to before you saw it on the internet" Clara explained.

"He assured me that he had everything under control, but then you started pushing him away and he almost told you, but then you made up, he was unable to do it to you and to himself" Clara said.

I nodded my head to her words as she took a deep breath. "I'm really sorry, I never meant to hurt you, I really did think it would work out" Clara said, tears brimming in her eyes.

"Well, it didn't" I half whispered and looked down at my hands in my lap. Clara scooted closer to me on the couch and she leaned her head on my shoulder and intertwined her hand with mine in my lap.

"I'm so sorry, whatever you choose to do, I'll be by your side all the way" Clara assured me. "Thank you" I whispered to her, though that was all it took for me to break down.

I sobbed as she pulled me into a hug, letting me soak her hair and her shirt. She stroked my hair as I cried on her shoulder. I was tired of crying, yet it felt like I was close to a closure.

"Let's get some wine, shall we?" Clara offered and I nodded. I ordered pizzas as she dug out the wine. We settled under a blanket and drank from a bottle each, screw glasses.

Hours later I was more than a little tipsy. I bit the side of the pizza slice and Clara laughed at me, I narrowed my eyes at her and realized where I was chewing and corrected it.

"Fuck you" I spat at her with a playful glare. She snorted and shrugged. "I would, but that's up to you" She retorted, I chuckled and then frowned a little.

"What's up?" Clara asked when she noticed. "I miss him" I admitted, my throat tightened painfully close. It hurt, I missed Taron. I missed his touch, his love. Him.

"Are you ready to let him explain?" She asked me, she knew what we had agreed to. He and I, so there were no secrets. No running.

"I don't know, I think I'm getting there" I told her and she nodded and took another swig of her wine bottle. "Maybe head next door tomorrow?" Clara suggested.

"Maybe" I agreed with her suggestion and took another bite of my pizza slice. "I know he's completely out of it, and I know that you probably don't want to hear it–but the man loves you, Iz. He's losing his mind, he keeps spamming me–look" Clara said and showed me her phone.

He had been spamming her, trying to get updates on how I was doing and if I was okay. A small ghost of a weak smile creeped onto my face, as I read the numerous texts.

"He's not functioning without you and you're not functioning without him, Serena told me everything" Clara said and I nodded a little.

"I'll talk to him tomorrow," I concluded. She nodded and gave me a sad smile. "But for now, I just want to relax," I added and Clara nodded.

"You got it, what are we watching?" Clara asked me and moved back on the couch. I smirked a little at her as I planned my small revenge plan for her lying.

"What? That smirk is scaring me.." Clara said and grimaced. "Rocketman" I said and crossed my arms. "Oh come on, no. I specifically told Richard I would never watch that movie" Clara protested.

"I don't care. At least you knew this movie existed with the scenes in it as well" I retorted and Clara sighed in defeat. "Alright, fine. Let's watch them have sex" Clara scoffed and crossed her arms.

I had seen Rocketman, I just wanted Clara to suffer a little more. I didn't even know that she had protested to Richard about this movie, it just made it even better for me to force her to watch it.

Both Taron and Richard had love scenes with each other. Imagine finding out this way how your boyfriend knows his best friend. Charming, right?

I put on the movie and started it. I glanced at Clara as she pouted at the screen, letting me laugh at her as she got ready for her worst nightmare.

I made Clara watch the entire movie and she was a groaning mess when it was finished. It was funny to torture her a little.

I had to admit that the movie did make me smile and laugh a little, Taron's acting was good, Richard as well. But I don't think I could get used to how good Taron was acting anytime soon.

I really did need to talk to him tomorrow. But for now, Clara and I fell asleep on my couch. For once peacefully and not shitfaced drunk and passed out from the alcohol.

In the morning, both Clara and I had woken up to the sun shining through my windows. We made breakfast and then Clara went on her way.

"I'm really sorry about everything, I hope you can forgive me" Clara said and took my hands in hers as we were about to say goodbye in my doorway.

"I can, I have" I said to her, she smiled thankfully and pulled me into a hug. "Promise me you'll go see him today" Clara said and I nodded, promising her and myself that I would.

"Good, call me," Clara said and pressed a kiss to my cheek before turning on her heel, leaving the hallway as she went down the stairs to exit the building.

I closed the door after her and sighed as I leaned against it. I bit my lip, I was so close to him, yet so far away. Walls and materials between us.

I wanted to go over there, kick the door in and hear the man out, but a part of me was also afraid of what this would end with, when I had listened and he had explained everything.

I started out by showering and then getting dressed properly. Yesterday when I had walked home from Serena's I had gone by the new apartment I had been looking at.

Tomorrow I had to meet the owners there, I was moving one way or the other. No matter how tonight was going to work out. The thought alone sent a jab to my heart, but it is what it is. I sighed as I made my way towards my door, to exit it. But my feet stopped me from moving.

I was anxious, afraid and still feeling heartbroken.

I shook my head out of my thoughts and yanked my door open. I stepped out and just decided to push myself out of my comfort zone and get it over with.

I locked my door behind me and before I knew it, I stood in front of Taron's door. Knocking quietly, maybe so gently that maybe–just maybe, he wouldn't hear me, then I could say that I had tried and then I could go back to my own apartment.

But that wasn't the case. The door opened.

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