About A... | Yoonmin [English]

Promise

Disclaimer: mention of eating disorders!

Over the next few days, I found myself walking past the dance hall more often than usual, peeking through the window.

I told myself that I was just looking in out of curiosity, but I knew that subconsciously I was hoping to catch a glimpse of Jimin. While we didn't have any pressing deadlines to practise for, he still tended to practise more often than the rest of us, pushing himself to his limits.

I continued to have a lot of work these days and was often in my studio in the main building, one floor above the dance hall, from morning until late at night.

This morning, Jimin had already been there when I arrived. I don't know what had driven him to train so early and so intensively.

I always took the diversions down the stairs and past the dance hall for my toilet breaks, peeking in at him as I went.

He didn't notice me, but I wouldn't have known what to say either.

By now it was 10 o'clock in the evening and he was still practising. Had he taken a break at all?

I was really worried.

Review:

Jimin has not been looking well lately. Pale, skinny and feeble. His usually cheerful smile had lost its colour and no longer reached his eyes.

I didn't remember seeing him eat during the last week. When asked, he only said he was dieting because he was not happy with his figure and his round face.

This was probably due to the current wave of hate comments.

A recently uploaded photo had led to a comment about Jimin's 'chubby' cheeks.

Some fans began affectionately calling him Mochi, after the soft Japanese sweets. But these comments were mixed with those about his figure, calling it chunky and fat, not to mention the even uglier terms used to describe it.

Which was absolute bullshit.

Jimin's abs proved that he was in top shape and absolutely not fat. And his face was definitely round, but attractive. Those sweet cheeks just defined him, it had nothing to do with his weight.

He obviously took these comments to heart and there was nothing we could do about it.

Most of us were dieting and taking care of our appearance because of comments from fans or management. Therefore, we did not have the right to tell Jimin what to do.

But what he was doing was getting dangerous. I just hoped the management would intervene soon. I couldn't get involved now. His decisions were none of my business. I had only just come to control my feelings for him.

On the tenth day of Jimin's diet it happened.

Also at that time, I had made several evening rounds to the toilets on the floor below my studio. Like every time, I checked the dance hall, but this time Jimin was lying motionless on the floor. I felt the panic rising in me and pushed open the studio door.

"Jimin, are you all right?"

He did not move.

A moment ago I had tried to stay calm, now I ran towards him and even slithered the remaining metres towards him on my knees.

He still didn't move.

I felt his pulse and checked his breathing. Apparently he was unconscious. I grabbed his face with both hands.