About A... | Yoonmin [English]

Jealousy

The next few days my emotions were on a rollercoaster.

I knew it wasn't going to be easy, with the situation Jimin and I were in, or weren't in, and the uncertainty and just everything.

First I kissed him, then he kissed me, then he let it be known that more with me was not an option, then he kissed me again and then....

Yes, then what?

I wasn't sure.

I expected a lot of things. Like to be ignored again. That he would play the whole thing down.

Meanwhile, I didn't even rule out the possibility that he would catch me unexpectedly in a quiet corner and make out with me like there was no tomorrow.

Once, when I was coming out of the bathroom, just lost in thought, and he suddenly strolled unexpectedly around the corner and greeted me, I jumped easily a metre in the air in shock.

But of course this thought was absurd.

And nothing could happen between us either way. Because I suddenly had two chaperones who didn't leave my side.

And that was what actually got me down even more.

Namjoon and J-Hope had decided to protect me and my heart from being rejected again.

Instead of them just letting me suffer in peace....

And they had come up with two different strategies.

Sometimes I had to be careful not to smile when I watched them. If it wasn't about me, it would be really funny to watch how they behaved.

Namjoon had decided it would be best for me to have as little contact with Jimin as possible. And he had a damn good radar for where each of us was and when.

In fact, I had tried to talk to Jimin several times in the last few days. But whenever I made an effort to go to Jimin or even took a breath to say something, Namjoon would find some flimsy excuse why he suddenly needed my help, has a question or just pull me away.

And Jimin wasn't exactly avoiding me, which meant these strange situations were piling up in a ridiculous way.

When he managed to address me on his own, Namjoon would suddenly join in and answer the questions for me.

At first I thought that was very sweet of him, because it gave me more time to sort out my thoughts. In the meantime, I would have liked to know what Jimin had to say to me.

And I missed talking to him.

It wasn't as if we hadn't done anything together before the fanservice incident.

We had even talked a lot, trained together and cooked together.

That was not to be thought of at the moment.

When Namjoon was not there, J-Hope took over. I was not at all sure what his strategy was supposed to achieve.

All of a sudden, he was especially touchy with me in Jimin's presence.

He would sit on my lap or hug me from behind and put his head on my shoulder.

When he talked to me, he often grabbed my arm or stroked my fingers with his.

In the first days, I had shaken him off every time with a playfully creeped-out comment. In the meantime I found it quite funny.

Maybe I was just missing physical closeness...

I blinked. 

We were all sitting in the common room about to watch a film together.

I had secured a seat on the sofa and was leaning back against the armrest, my legs drawn up and my arms wrapped around a sofa cushion.