Glacial

21

* one month later*

I woke up with a pain in my stomach which was becoming more and more unbearable by the second, I pulled my knees to my stomach and lay in a fetal position trying to forget the pain. A stabbing sensation spread throughout my stomach and I let out a whimper, Ed shifted slightly and then rolled to face me, his eyes still closed. I sighed and went to get up out of bed when a hand pulled my shirt back, making me fall back onto the bed. "what's wrong?" Ed asked as I lay, a few tears rolling down my face. " nothing" I said bluntly, I was basically decaying slowly now, id been so long without keeping food down. two months now. "whatever, don't lie" he said slightly grumpily. "Ed its nothing, just a stomach ache" I said just as harshly, sitting up quickly and stomping off to the bathroom.

I turned on the shower and undressed, I looked at myself in the mirror for the first time in what seemed like forever. I didn't see myself, my eyes had faded from their deep hazel to a grey color, my face had gotten even slimmer and I was paler color than usual. travelling down my body with my eyes, I saw my ribs, something I never thought id see on myself. I let a few tears roll of my nose as I let the hot water pour over my now delicate skin, I began thinking about how I used to be. I loved food, food was my life, and that's probably why I was never liked at school. I wasn't chubby, but I was teased because I wasn't a beautiful skinny blond, I had chocolate brown hair and hazel eyes. As all the memories of my childhood flooded my mind I heard knocking on the door as I was bought out of my daze. "what" I said expressionlessly as I listened for a voice over the loud stream of the water. "are you alright love, you've been in there a while" Ed's voice echoed around the room. "yes, im fine" I said a little less snootily this time.

"mummy" James said through the bathroom door as I wrapped my hair in a towel. "yes my little man?" I said back to him as I opened the door, James was standing there with a car in one hand and the SpongeBob movie in the other. "can we watch this?" He asked as I walked down the hall to Mine and Ed's room, throwing my towel over the door as I walked in. " yeah how bout when daddy's gone to work?" I suggested, Ed had some interviews across town for the press so we had the house to ourselves. "yesss" he said excitedly, running back to his room to play.

"baby, can we talk?" Ed came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder. "uh yeah?" I said in more of a question form, as nervousness filled my body. he lead me to the living room where he gestured for me to sit. I sat on the edge of my seat and I felt sick with nerves as he began to speak. " you know, I know you haven't been eating love" he said slowly, getting straight to the point with no hesitation. "i have so" I defended, instantly becoming protective. " well, you've been puking it, love you cant deny, you don't know what i've seen" he said quickly. I felt defeated, my plan had been uncovered thanks to his sneaky ways. " you don't know!" I said raising my voice as my face began to get hot. "yes I do!" he retorted, no longer calm, I felt myself start to boil over, he really did know about it, and he wasn't going to stop me. "you fucking don't Ed! its my life you don't know!" I yelled as I stood up, kicking away a few of James cars from under my feet. "Lanie! im worried about you okay! fucking hell!" he yelled back, standing and stepping towards me. I pulled away as he reached for my arm and stared at him, my chest rising and falling quickly as the anger fizzled inside me. "don't worry fuck im fine im just fucking fine!" I said, screaming this time as tears rolled off my face. "you're not fine, hell, when you puke up every meal you aren't fucking fine!" he screamed back, he had never used this language or tone with me and it scared me a little but I kept my attitude. "fuck if you don't like it i'll go!" I yelled, I stormed out and he ran after me, pulling me around until we were staring at each other with flames in our eyes. "let go of me!" I yelled and I stomped off to the room, locking the door and pulling out a bag, I was leaving, I was definitely leaving.

I heard Ed scream out profanities as I cried in the room, shoving some clothes in my bag, along with my wallet, phone, charger and a photo of James. I swung open the door and walked quickly out the room and into the living room, where Ed was sitting, his head in his hands, his elbows rested on his knees. as I snuck past my foot tapped the floor loudly and his head shot up, his gaze converting towards me faster than the speed of light as he noticed the bag on my back. "you aren't going" he said bluntly, standing up quickly. "wanna bet Ed?" I said angrily, pushing past him and making my way to the door. he slipped in front of me and pushed the door shut with force as I opened it. "no lanie" he said " you cant go out there on your own" he said calmly. "yes I fucking can, and im going to" I said as I pushed his hand away and pried open the door, jogging down the drive and onto the street. I looked behind me as I walked away, I saw James standing by Ed's side with a confused expression on his face, but I ignored it and carried on, it was over.

I made my way to the city and breathed in heavily as the coolness of the afternoon began to set in, it would be dusk soon and I had no place to go, unless I went back to Ed. and I wasn't doing that. I walked through the town and stared blankly infront of me, not bothering to make eye contact with anyone. I felt eyes on me and looked up to see a group of boys staring at me. I began to walk quicker and they kept their eyes on me until I disappeared down an alley. I knew where I was going, I knew where I was going to sleep tonight and I just had to get out of the center of town before I would reach my destination. I walked further until I came to the edge of the track Ed and I walked down on our first date, I began to walk into the darkness. I made it to the big open space where we lay together and stargazed, I walked right into the middle and lay down, this was home tonight.

* * * *

WHAT!?

Lanie left!? yes she did, Ed found out omg! okay so get ready, there should be another one after this>>>

YUS CYA LATER...