Glacial

33

I raced out of the room to the kitchen and grabbed the phone, taking a deep breath in as I answered. "hello?" I asked in question form, I heard people talking in the background. "hi is Ed there?" a voice asked. "yeah hold up" I said and I outstretched my hand, giving Ed the phone. "what's up?" Ed asked casually. " oh...yeah. what. no way really?" he said excitedly and I stood their staring at him with a confused expression. He caught my gaze and pointed a finger at me, indicating for me to wait until he got off the phone. "okay, will do, bye" he said cheerily and hung up the phone, returning to me with a smile. "that was Murray" he said. "what's the good news?" I asked and he stepped towards me, pulling my hips towards his. "his wife is expecting" he said and i smiled widely. "send a congrats from me" I said and I kissed him, " it may not seem like much, but it is to them because they were told Grace wouldn't ever get pregnant" he said and I suddenly realized how exciting it is going to be for them to welcome a son or daughter into the world. "how far along is she?" I asked. "eight weeks" he said and i smiled, "that's great" I said, but I suddenly felt sad, as I remembered we had a daughter who is currently fighting seizures. "fuck Ed we need to go" I said and I picked up my purse and started to walk out the door. "wait, where's James and Stella?" i asked as i hadn't realized he didn't bring them in when he came to get me. " I had mum come and get them" he said and i sighed in relief.

We began the long thirty minute trip back to the hospital, and on the way there we turned on the radio. " Im gonna pick up the pieces" the voice on the radio sung. "that guys good" Ed joked and flashed me a cheeky. "if your head gets any bigger you wont fit in the car" i giggled and he reached out his hand and poked my ribs, making me squeal and press myself into the edge of my seat. "its weird to hear myself singing on radio" he said suddenly, breaking the perfect silence between us. "mhm" i said quietly, a feeling of sadness rush over me. he didn't reply, he just turned his head occasionally, flicking me quick glances. we drove for the final ten minutes and i felt tears trickle down my face, so i stared out the window so he wouldn't notice. "are you okay?" he asked as i let out an unwanted sniff. "yes" i whispered and he reached his hand to my thigh, rubbing it gently. "what's wrong love?" he asked again, and i turned my head to face him as we parked the car, i took a deep breath in "im fine, im just worried" i breathed out.

we made our way to the intensive care unit, the most familiar place in this hospital. "Sheeran" Ed said as we checked in at reception. "sure, head on through" the receptionist said. smiling gently. We walked down a long corridor, one if which was new to me, but Ed seemed to know where he was going. The sign above the ward door said " nuerosciences" which i knew meant something to do with the brain. "Ed where are we?" i asked him as lead me to a small ward within the one we were already in. "she's in here" he said and he opened a door for me. The room was pitch black, except for the lights on machines, and a purple ultraviolet light. I stood in front of my baby and i gasped in shock. she was in a crib with a helmet on her head that had wires snaking out of it, like something you'd see on a creepy science cartoon. there were beeping machines all over her, her face was swollen and she had purpley colored rings around her eyes. "what the fuck" i whispered as i stood on shock, staring my baby, who was laying motionless on the little bed in front of me, her chest the only thing moving, except the occasional twitch of her toes.

"im sorry love" Ed said as I let my emotions get the better of me. I pressed myself into him, and my body shook as i cried tears of both anger and sadness. he wrapped his arms around me and i pulled away, " i want to be alone" i said suddenly, making my way to the door. "wait" he said a she grabbed my arm. i ripped my  arm from his grip and glared at him angrily. "leave me the fuck alone" i said as i ran out, bolting out the ward so he couldn't find me.

I got a reasonable distance from where he was so i slowed my pace, changing to a fast walk. I began to walk down the road, to the nearest coffee shop. it was three in the afternoon, so it was reasonably quiet in town. I entered a small coffee shop and went up to counter, wiping my eyes and putting on a smile. "how can I help?" An older woman asked me as she stood at the counter, smiling sweetly. "ill have a chai latte, thank you" i said shyly, handing her a ten dollar note. "sure thing, taker a seat love" she replied and i sat in the corner, away from the windows, although they were screaming my name. I waited for my coffee and read a magazine, with all the celebrities breaking down over breaking a nail "hmf" i grunted to myself. I have bigger problems. The old woman bought me my latte and i thanked her, my smile must've been obviously fake. "are you alright love?" she asked and she sat next to me, putting an arm around my shoulder. "yes, uh im great" i said and she gave me a disapproving look, "are you sure?" she said, i shook my head and she leaned in a little closer. "do you want to vent?" she said and i nodded, i lifted my head until our eyes met and i sniffed. "my daughter, she's sick" i said quietly. "how old is she?" the woman asked. "two months" i said, My fiancé is with her, but i couldn't handle it" i cried, breathing as steadily as i could. "oh love, that's terrible" she said in a loud whisper, trying not to draw attention to us. " she had seizure, and now she's not responding" i said and her face dropped, she leaned in and hugged me, her warmth was reassuring, i know that at least some people in this world are human, and they care about strangers. " how old are you?" she asked me, and i hesitated. "uh nearly eighteen" i said, "oh just young" she said, and she smiled. "i had my first baby at sixteen" she said and i suddenly felt like i wasn't alone. " you..you did?" i asked and she nodded. " so its just you, your fiancé and bub is it?" she said and i shook my head " we adopted our son and my daughter has twin" i said and she looked surprised. " youre doing a good job love, now i better get back to work" she said and she stood up and went back behind the counter, smiling at me as i sat a little longer.

* * * *

Hey...

this is sad right now....im sorry

i dunno, i guess i write my emotions.

hope you like it.

and im gunna keep nagging until your read Hollylong13's books, they are great!!

vote, comment

bye!