Glacial

31

I woke up to the sound of silence. silence is the only thing I crave now, if silence was a person I would take it to Vegas and marry it. It has now been a week since we bought our girls home and the noise is over whelming. James always yells over top of the crying and drowns it out with the television and its driving me insane! The girls wail constantly and im beginning to think im not doing a good enough job, although all Ed does is compliment me and tell me how good I am.

"james! turn the freaking TV down!" I screamed as I rocked Estella back and forth, shushing her constantly. he had the volume on ninety nine and the Thomas The Tank engine theme song was on repeat, I could feel myself becoming more angry at him and although I didn't want to yell, my head defied me and the words flowed out.

"JAMES fucking hell! turn the freaking tv down NOW!!" I screamed and the tv was flicked off, leaving the room tense and quiet. "baby, its okay, calm down" Ed said and he placed the remote on the table, making a gentle click on the glass. "fucking hell, why cant life be simple!" I said and I walked out of the room, practically forcing Estella into Ed's arms as I made my way to the bathroom. I turned around and watched him as he stared me down until I slammed the door shut. I slid down the wall and I felt hot tears of exhaustion and frustration roll down my cheeks, burning my eyes on the way out. I sat with my knees bent and my head leaned back onto the door when there was a light knock. "Love are you alright?" Ed asked me and I took a deep, but shaky breath in and answered "yes im fine, I just need time" I lied, I wasn't fine, I was over everything, over life. "if you're sure" he sighed. I felt bad for lying to him, but I knew if I told him he would try and get me to see a doctor, and there was no way in hell I was seeing a doctor.

I pulled my self up off the floor after what must've been an hour, with a headache pounding the back of my head. What was this moodiness? I mean, yeah im tired but I have never been so mad with James before. and im pretty sure I scared him somewhat. I opened the door and leaned on the wall as another head rush drowned my body. I felt so dizzy I could barely stand and as I took a few steps forward, I felt myself falling. I crashed to the ground and the world above me began to spin, I fell with a thud and I heard Ed yell my name but I couldn't reply, I was crying, but with no sound escaping my mouth. "Lanie!" I heard a muffled voice yell as I felt myself getting sleepier. The drowsiness over took me and I let it win. it went black.

"love?" I heard the muffled voice speak again, I saw a flash of white glow in front of my closed eyes and I forced myself to open them. Ed was leaning over me with a look of shock spread across his face. "are you okay love!?" he said frantically as I blinked, i was confused to why he was fussing over me, I was feeling fine. "wha-why i'm fine" I said and stood up, wobbling slightly as I regained my balance. Ed looked at me strangely as I walked out the room, I don't remember falling asleep but I must've, because I woke up on the sofa with Ed over me, asking if I was okay. "Lanie, you're not okay" Ed said, following me down the hall to our room. "I am Ed, I was just tired" I said, I felt like something had happened but I couldn't remember what. " The girls need feeding love" he said and he walked out of the room, then I remembered. "Righty then" I said and I got up, heading down the hall to where my babies lay, gurgling in frustration. I picked up Estelle and lifted my top to feed her. She was having trouble feeding at first, but she was fine now. As I was feeding, James came towards me cautiously, probably waiting for another telling off. "its okay love, mummy is sorry for yelling" I said calmly and a smile crept onto his face, he sat next to me and stroked Estella's head. "im sorry for being naughty" he whispered and I felt a warm feeling in my stomach, easy forgiveness I thought. "how are you love" a voice said from behind me, I jumped as Ed placed his hands on my shoulders, rubbing gentle circles. I felt myself melt and goose bumps arose on my skin. "that feels great" I said and I yawned, I wasn't aware of how tired i'd become. "should we put the kids to bed and have an early night?" He asked me and I nodded through a yawn, as I burped my baby gently. "please" I said and I lifted Stella above my head, waiting for Ed to grab her. He did so and I stood up, retrieving Iris from the floor, She had to be on special formula as she was allergic to dairy products, so my milk wasn't good for her. She nuzzled into me and I walked her down to the room behind Ed, who was already placing Stella into her cot. "we set their mobiles and turned them on, "goodnight my babies" I whispered and I took Eds hand, leading him to the room.

" im not tired anymore" I whispered to Ed as I pushed him back first onto the bed, he looked at me with a familiar smirk and I nodded. " I love you" he said in a lower voice, his lust visibly showing in his eyes. They were now a dark shade of blue and his pupils were enlarged, making him look like a possum in the night. " I love you too" I said quietly. He began to kiss me more hungrily and I felt my breathing speed up rapidly as he found the sweet spot on my neck, a moan escaping my lips. He pulled off my shirt with great force and I felt the air around me become suddenly cooler, and the air more tense s he undid my bra and threw it away also. I tugged his shirt over his head and I kissed his chest, trailing down to his stomach as my hands followed, looping my fingers into his belt loops. I pulled his jeans down his kegs and he kicked them off his feet with force, eager to get started I suppose. He slid off my panties, as I wasn't wearing pants, just a giant shirt, and he crawled over me, placing a hand on either side of my head and looked into my eyes. "you are perfect" he whispered, his eye were still full of lust and they were an unnatural shade of blue. "so are you" I said and I pulled him down to my level and kissed him passionately, using my hands to pull of his boxers.

He moved back, positioning himself as I mentally prepared myself. I breathed in deeply and exhaled, giving him the nod. he pushed in and I felt pain for a few seconds, I wriggled a bit to get comfortable and he began to move in and out, quickening his pace as I became more comfortable, I began to feel a tight knot form in my stomach and it kept getting tighter until he hit a certain spot, and then it all unravelled. my body shook and my back arched to my his body above me, sweaty and hot. I let myself fall back onto the bed and he came down with me, drawing out and rolling to my side. we lay there, cuddled together, although our bodies were hot. Our heavy breathing filled the room and his breath travelled down my neck, making me shiver. "its been so long" he whispered. "gosh, I know" I replied, breathing heavily.

* * * *

HI

Oh my gosh.

damn this life.

im sick of being unwell, although im good at hiding it most of the time...

anywhoo

hows it going? I hope this wasn't boring!

I recommend you read books from Hollylong13 as she has some good ones!

well then.

that's it.

bye!