Glacial

32

My head aches. The pain wont go away and its starting to drive me even more insane than the Thomas The Tank theme that I hear so much, I've started humming it damn it. I got up out of bed and  stumbled out of the room, making my way unsteadily to Estella and iris' room, peeking in on James on my way past. I opened the door and my feet froze. My eyes shot to both of girls cribs and I breathed out in relief when I saw them still sound asleep. My gazed averted back to the opposite side of the room where the window was wide open. "strange" I whispered to myself and closed the window, shivering as the cool morning air waved in. I didn't remember opening the window at all. "what's strange?" a voice said behind me and I almost jumped right out of my skin. "fuck don't do that" I whispered louder than expected and Ed laughed quietly and stepped towards me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "sorry, but what's strange?" he said and I shrunk back a bit, did he need to know?

"the window was open" I said and he looked at it quickly. "oh uh, did you leave it open?" he asked and I shook my  head, I surely would've remembered if I had've. "no, that's why its strange" I said as I let go and picked up Iris, who had since woken from her gorgeous newborn sleep, although they are now two months old, they're still newborn to us. " hello gorgeous" Ed whispered over my shoulder as I held her out in front of me, he wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder, gazing upon his daughter as she stared at him with a small sleepy smile. As I was holding her, she started to look funny and just as I Ed had left the room to make coffee, she made a funny noise, before her eyes rolled back and she turned an odd shade of blue. "ED!!" I screamed and ran to him. we met in the middle of the kitchen and his eyes widened at the sight of his daughter. he started screaming out profanities and we heard footsteps running down the hall. "mummy daddy! whats wrong!?" he yelled over Ed's outrage. "go play James its okay" I lied as I placed a finger down my baby's throat, trying to make her breathe or something. "okay" he said quickly and ran back down the hall.

Ed was on the phone to an ambulance operator and he was yelling at them, "what do I do!?" he said frantically, "She's two months old!" he yelled and I saw his face become red with what seemed like anger. " Ed calm down" I said and he turned to me with a look that told me to shut up. I was patting my baby's back when I heard a cry from Estella. "fuck" I yelled and called out to James. "James get Estella for mummy!" I yelled and he shouted a yes over all the commotion and ran to the room. I heard the crying becoming louder and he appeared at the door frame with Stella. he walked towards me with Stella carefully over his shoulder, since when is a three year old so mature?  I pointed to the sofa and he nodded, he sat on the sofa with Stella and rocked her gently, the crying subdued and the sound of sirens was becoming louder and louder. I ran to the door with Iris still a deep purple color, her body was getting limper and her eyes struggling to open. "help" I said as the paramedics rushed up to me, carrying a bag of medical supplies. "its alright love" one of them said as stood with my eyes wide, tears flowing down my face.

Ed had left the room, it was all too much for him. I walked out of the living room and I saw him leant up against the wall with his head tilted back against the wall, tear stains on his face. " Babe" I whispered and he opened his eyes, sniffing as he saw me. " is she okay" he said huskily and all I could shrug and cry with him. he stood up next to me and I pressed my self into him and completely broke down. "why the fuck!" I yelled and Ed tried to hush me, I was having none of it. "shut the fuck up" I said and walked into bathroom, slamming the door as hard as I could behind me. I sat there as silence filled the house. Ed had gone with the paramedics tot the hospital and told me he would ring me soon, all I did was mumble "mhm" through the door and let myself drown in my own morbid thoughts.

My head was spinning and I felt nauseous as I thought about my baby. James, Ed and Stella had driven behind the ambulance to the hospital and I hadn't heard any news for half an hour. I stood up and walked to the cabinet across from me. I searched through numerous make up bags until I found what I was looking for.  I went outside into our small courtyard and sat on the grass, the sun heating my skin. I rolled a cigarette, I wasn't one to do this, but I needed to get high. I needed to so bad. I lit the end and breathed in heavily, it took a few minutes for me to begin to feel fuzzy. I started to feel light and it was great. As I sat enjoying the happiness flooding my tired body, my phone rang next to me, giving me a fright. I picked it up and accepted the call. "Lanie?" Ed said and I giggled, my name sounded funny. "yeah?" I said cheekily, rolling out the long 'e' sound. "are you okay love?" he said, his voice was noticeably tired. "yes" I said as calmly as I could, although the giggles were building up inside me. "uh. yeah. baby, Stella is very sick" he said I felt confused. "Stella?" I questioned and I heard him breathe in and out quickly. "what's this game you're playing with me?' he said, his voice was getting more irritated and I felt weird. "im not playing...a game" I said, stuttering like a was drunk. "are you drunk?" he aske3d and I laughed out loud, "of course not, I just had a smoke" I said and I could basically see his frown through the phone now. "you're fucking high!?" he yelled angrily and I started to get upset. "yes..i mean Im...Upset" I breathed and I heard him sigh. "its okay, im coming home to get you" he said, and before I could protest, he hung up, leaving me standing with my phone to me ear.

I heard a car pull up in the driveway and I ran outside and clung to Ed, my arms wrapping tightly around his neck. "hi" he said simply, I could tell he was mad at me. "don't be mad...im...im sorry" I cried into his chest and he pulled me close, resting his chin on my head "its okay, I understand" he said and I pulled away, wiping my red eyes, half red because of crying, half red because of the drugs. " I feel sick" I said suddenly, as a wave of nausea flooded me. I leaned over the grass and I vomited violently, my chest tightening painfully.  Ed  stepped towards me and pulled my hair back as the liquid from inside me kept coming, like a rain shower from my mouth. I coughed violently only to be greeted with more puke, it was hurting my chest. I finally stopped and Ed looked worried as we watched a trail of vomit run off the grass and onto the pavement. "eww" I giggled, and so did he, "lets go inside, we need to talk" he said and I instantly felt nervous. "o..okay?" I said and followed him inside.

"lanie" he said and I sat next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. he put his head on mine, his hair tickling my forehead. "yeah?" I said and he sighed, I knew this wasn't good. "for a start, are you okay? you've been funny lately" he said a d I sighed back, " I haven't felt good, I forget things" I said and he just stayed quiet, I don't think he had words. "oh" he said simply. "what's the other thing" I asked and I felt him tense up. "uh, its Stella" he said in a whisper. "what's wrong with her?" I whispered back, I knew this was the bad news. "she...she, has uh" he started and then he stopped, like the words forgot to come out of his mouth. "what Ed?" I said more demandingly. "shehasepilepsy" he said in a quick low mumble, making it impossible to understand. "what." I said, feeling a bit anxious. " she has epilepsy" he said audibly. "wh...what?" I said, I felt hot tears burn the corners of my eyes, threatening to escape. "im sorry" he said and it pushed me over the edge, I burst into tears and I jumped onto Ed's lap and straddled him, I put my head on his chest and just let all my emotions fly out, I even laughed a few times.

The phone rang.

* * * *

Oooooh cliffhanger!

im so like sahjjdgbasdflukjgsdflhcfs

this was intense, in think I cried a little.

Holly!! BACON BACON BACON BACON ON SUNDAY

(don't try to understand me if you aren't Holly)

hehehehe hope you enjoyed this!

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