nothing new | b.e

Distraction | 020

Carson's POV

"So what are you doing today, baby?" Kassie asks me with a smile. She finally had some time off, so we're FaceTiming today finally.

"I don't know, doing something with Billie, I think. She's over right now, but she's taking a nap." I say, making us both laugh.

"Wow, she sleeps a lot." Kassie chuckles and I nod. "Yup, she does. Whenever she gets time off from recording or going to events and whatever, she sleeps as much as she can." I tell her.

"You been having fun with her?" She asks. "Mhm, I missed her a lot, Kass." I say to her. "I'm glad she's back in my life."

"I'm glad, too, my love. I can tell you guys are really close." Kassie nods.

"Carson! I'm hungry!" I hear Billie call out to me from the living room on the couch. I went to my room while she sleeps because she moves around way too fucking much in her sleep.

That's nothing new, though.

"Okay, hold on!" I shout back to her. "Alright, baby, I'm gonna go. Can we call later?" I ask Kassie.

"Of course, love. Go have fun." She smiles at me.

"Alright, I love you so much." I say to her. "I love you more, baby." She responds. "Not possible." I grin.

"Oh, but it is." She smirks playfully and I roll my eyes. "Bye, my love." I wave to her and hang up.

Fuck, Billie and I did that when I left for Florida.

No, Carson, stop it. She's your best friend, you have Kassie. You need to get over her.

I groan and get up off my bed. I walk out to the living room and sit next to Billie on the couch. As soon as I sit, she lays her head in my lap and I freeze up. She's always done that, but it feels.. different.

"You make a better pillow than that." She points to the pillow she was using before and laughs.

"My pillows are very comfortable, thank you." I laugh. "Are you calling your thighs 'pillows' now?" Billie gives me a weird look.

"Billie, I meant my actual pillows. The ones on the couch." I sigh and shake my head. "Oh, oops." She shrugs.

She's gotta stop fucking with me like this.

Suddenly, it's silent between us and she looks up at me from down in my lap, staring at my lips. I look down at her and she licks her lips. I notice we start to get closer till I pull away and clear my throat. "Um, so, what should we get to eat?" I ask, looking down at the floor.

"Car, I'm sorry." Billie sighs. "It's fine, Bil." I assure her.

"But, Carso-"

"I said it's fine, Billie." I snap and her face saddens. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell, I just- I don't know." I bite the inside of my cheek after I finish speaking, regretting what I said.

"It's okay," She shakes her head, avoiding my eyes so she doesn't have to look at me.

"Billie, do you wanna go on a date?" I blurt out.

"What- Carson, what abo-"

"Sorry, sorry! Shit, I meant, like, with one of my friends. My friend, Veronica, she's really nice and I think you'd like her, you know?" I tell her.

"Oh.. uh, I don't know about that," She shrugs. "She's super sweet and she's pretty, I think you two would be cute together." I give her a small smile.

Fuck, why do I keep talking? That literally killed me inside to say. I just want a distraction from her.

Maybe if Billie and Veronica went out or whatever, I'd get over her and I wouldn't have to worry about anymore of this and my feelings.

"Uhm, I guess that could be okay. You can give her my number." She awkwardly nods.

"Yeah?" I ask, hoping she'd change her mind and say no. "Yeah, that's fine." She smiles.

I wish she said no.

"Cool, I'll text her later." I tell her.

"Okay, thanks." She nods.

It gets awkwardly silent again and I stand up. "So, uh, should I order something to eat..? You said you were hungry, right?" I ask her.

"Yeah, I am. You can order whatever, I don't mind." Billie shrugs.

I give her a thumbs up and grab my phone. I DoorDash us food from our favorite place we used to get food from all the time as kids.

"Bil, I'm gonna head to the bathroom really quick." I tell her and she nods.

I walk into my room and shut the door. I literally don't have to go to the bathroom at all, I just feel like I'm gonna fucking scream. I sit on my bed and grab my pillow and pound my head into it repeatedly since I'm just angry with myself.

"Fuck, why am I so stupid? I should've kept my mouth shut." I mumble to myself. I get up and groan before walking back out to the living room. Billie sits up as she sees the look on my face.

"You okay, Car? You look upset." She frowns, pointing out my expression. I guess it was noticeable even though I didn't want it to be. "I'm fine." I sigh, sitting back down next to her, hoping this moment would just end and I could stop feeling this way about her.

I hate feeling this way. I feel like I'm betraying Kassie by liking Billie, but I can't help it. I've been in love with her for fucking years.

Shit, did I say that out loud?

a/n 🤍

hmmmm 🤔🤔

cough jealous cough

don't hate me i promise it'll get better 😞😞

love youuuu