what would people say? || b.e

twenty nine

billie's pov:

somedays, i wish i could just go to bed and wake up as a new person. dramatic, i know. but i can't help it. everything just makes me want to bang my head against a wall these days.

my fiancè is a fucking jerk, yet i can't seem to end things with him. all he does is crib and whine about how i never spend time with him when, in reality, he's never home when he's supposed to be. he spends the whole day at home when i'm working at the school and the moment i set foot in the house, he leaves to god knows where.

i don't even know why i'm still with him. i should've said no when he proposed. hell, i was planning on breaking up with him a few days before he asked me to marry him.

but i couldn't just break his heart like that. he was so.. sweet. even if it only lasted a day or two.

my standards are so low to the point where all he has to do is act like a nice person for a few minutes and i come running back to him. it sucks, but it's true.

and everyone would've been so disappointed if i'd ended things with him. i sure as hell am not ready to listen to my parents lecture me about my love life, no thank you.

on top of his bullshit, work is a pain in the ass. and he only makes it worse by randomly showing up to my workplace and demanding that i spend time with him.

zoe says he's not worth my time. she's probably right too. but i can't help it, i love him.

..right?

then there's.. y/n. god, i don't even know what i'm doing with her. do i like her? do i want her? do i want to be with her?

yes.

but i would never admit that to anyone. i can't admit that to anyone. she's so much younger than i am and she's my student.

as much as i want her, i have to stop myself before things go too far. i can't be cheating on my fiancè like this and i can't break her heart either. she needs to know we can't be together, no matter how much we wish things were different.

calling her a fling probably wasn't the best move.. but i can't help it, i panicked! i panicked and i fucked up, and now she won't even let me talk to her.

that was a week ago too, and she still won't even look at me. currently i'm teaching her class and she looks everywhere but me. and i don't even know what to do about it.

i should probably just leave her alone, honestly. i've already hurt her enough and i've been hurt enough as well. i should just focus on trying to love ty because clearly i'm never getting out of that hellhole of a relationship.

"all of you flip to page two thirty-" the sound of my phone ringing cut my sentence short and i sighed as i looked at the caller id.

speak of the devil..

rolling my eyes, i declined before turning back to the class. i swear to god, if this man calls me one more time while i'm working i will explode.

i looked over at y/n, noticing her head down with her eyes on the book, not even looking at me once. just like everyday this past week. shaking my head, i tore my eyes away from her before speaking. "anyway- on page two thirty four, you can see-"

it was a knock on the door that stopped me from speaking this time. i fought the urge to roll my eyes as i went over to the door of the class, swinging it open to be met with none other than my fiancè.

y/n's pov:

you've got to be fucking joking.