August | Hermione Granger x OFC

Epilogue Part 5: Dear Dylan

august: first person version (kind of)

dont get me wrong i am a first person POV hater (exception: the hunger games. and maybe twilight ...) but i thought this would be fun (using "fun" loosely)

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Sunday, 17/05/98

Dear Dylan,

It's been 15 days since you died.

I have so much to say and yet nothing at all when I actually put quill to parchment. Or should I say pen to paper? Hermione brought a load of Muggle things to the house, including pens and paper. She also brought an old television which Willow is trying to charm so that it works around magic. The most important thing Hermione brought, though, is a Pingu video cassette tape. 4 whole series of Pingu! I'm waiting very impatiently for Willow to fix the telly (that's what Muggles call it for short).

I just realised you don't know what Pingu is. Sorry. It's a show on the telly about a penguin in Antarctica and they speak penguinese and there's a seal called Robby (like me). I watched the show when I was in hiding with Nadir summer after third year.

I don't let anyone call me Robby anymore.

Sorry, this letter is all over the place already. Also sorry if my handwriting is messy. I can't use my hand well after it was broken and left untreated for ages. Not to mention Hermione says my "motor skills" are impaired due to the (also untreated for ages) concussion(s). I have headaches all the time, my vision goes blurry, and my attention span is dreadful. I'm always tired. And angry. I have to drink like five potions every morning and they taste bad and make me woozy and exhausted. Also sorry if I go off on tangents. I think I just did. As I said, attention span. And now I'm angry again.

I think I should start with the part where I'm under house arrest, amongst other things.

They took my wand.

I have to wear a magical tag on my ankle (it's uncomfortable and ugly and clunky) and I have the trace on me again - not that that hardly matters anyway since THEY TOOK MY WAND.

I understand why but that doesn't mean I'm not upset about it.

I feel like I'm missing a part of me. Like I'm walking around without my pants on or something equally bizarre. It's all wrong. And despite the fact I'm tired all the time I also somehow have too much energy as I have no outlet through magic. I'm fidgety, twitchy, unable to sit still. I've taken to hitting slabs of rock (with my good hand) at my community service like I'm some angsty teen boy punching holes in his bedroom wall.

Yes, you read that right. Community service. I have to help rebuild Hogwarts. I don't mind the idea itself but actually doing it is really difficult. There's lots of heavy lifting and I'm not strong. Not physically, and to be honest not mentally right now either. There's also lots of cleaning (specifically dusting) which I dislike. I told Hermione they should let Winnie do it instead (she would love to) and she got angry. She said I don't care about house-elves and I'm not taking my community service seriously even after she fought so hard to get it for me and if it weren't for her I'd be back in Azkaban.

I said Winnie's my best friend and you don't know what you're talking about. She got angrier and left me alone in the house and then I got a really bad headache and cried until I fell asleep.

Marley hasn't stopped crying since Hermione broke the news that you died. She spends all her time hiding in the cupboard under the stairs. Hermione spends half her time trying to coax her out, but she won't come.

Hermione's angry a lot too, like me. I don't know. It's weird. She says I have "post traumatic stress disorder" (?) but I think she has it too. She's always on edge and she's exhausted and when she tries to sleep she has nightmares and she's always muttering about her parents which I don't really understand and when I ask she brushes me off and I don't know how to comfort her because I'm always sad too.