To Infiniti & Beyond

Chapter Thirty-Eight

After Grayson's confession the other day the first thing I did when I was alone was contact Brynn. She freaked out, we both did. I waited until I knew how I felt about the situation before filling in Eva and Maya.

The consensus? Even if I knew the outcome, I would go through all that pain again just to be happy with him for a few moments longer. The fact that he was actually saying it with his chest that I'm the one he wants, and the fact that he's taken time to himself before expressing these things - it shows positive self growth and I'm proud of him, he's always voiced that his biggest struggle is communication.

Maybe I'm not as healed as I thought I was, but who cares? I sure as hell don't! He came back, just like I felt he would. You can't possibly throw away such a connection so easily - him coming back just proved such.

Here's the game plan: obviously I can't make myself fall for him again, if the spark fizzled out then oh well, but there's no harm in trying again. With that being said, I will go in with the intention of being friends. I will let him do all the initiating of more, and match his energy when actions are displayed. I think that's fair.

I told Brynn my game plan and she's all for it. As I've said before, she's been our biggest supporter since day one and constantly makes it known. Maya just wants me to be careful and although she's not happy he hurt me, she understands me wanting to try again.

Eva on the other hand? She's furious at him - more so than I am. She thinks I should hate him for how he did me dirty. I agree that I should hate him, but I don't. I loved him too much to ever even fathom hating him. I've forgiven how he handled things, but I won't forget it. I just wish I could make Eva see that I truly mean it when I say I'll be more cautious this time around. I hate knowing that she's disappointed in me, but it's my life and my choices so she'll just have to respect that.

I ordered a new exhaust for my car a few weeks ago and it finally came in! It's an axleback muffler delete with burnt tips. I have always wanted burnt tips and although I know I could've just bought tips and straight piped it for cheaper - I decided to splurge. Nothing is too good for my baby!

I'm headed up to my mom's boyfriend's shop to install them and the vibes are immaculate. The heat from the late August sun is being cooled by my open windows as I rip down the highway with my music blasting.

The install goes seemlessly and I was able to do everything by myself. Hearing my car start up for the first time with the new pipes made me feel so accomplished. It's really coming together!

I have lowering springs in my room that I've been dying to put on. It's slightly above my skill set though, so I of course recruited my brothers to help me. These past couple of days have been hard to configure a good amount of time we're all free but thankfully they agreed to this weekend.

The week drags on and the anticipation to install my lowering springs builds as we get closer to the weekend.

I spend two of the four weeknights with Eva trying to make passing my free time more enjoyable. It definitely helped.

Grayson reached out randomly last night to see if I wanted to go for a drive. I ended up going but although he offered to drive, I suggested we just take a cruise. When we met up he hopped in my car like no time had passed between us. We discussed where we'd go, checked in on each other's lives (family, work, and other generic things of that sort), and then he went back into his car. Other than that, nothing exciting happened and I have no complaints. We're trying to figure out how to interact with each other again and taking things slow is fine by me.

It's finally install day! Beau texted informing me that Jake just picked him up and they're on the way. I take that as my cue to get things set up outside in the driveway.

By the time we're done with the rear, we're all sweating like pigs. The sun is relentlessly beating down on us as it nears its peak position in the sky for the day.

We put a pause on things to have a lunch break and cool down with the air conditioning inside.

Lunch ends too soon and we find ourselves dreading going back out into the brutal sun.

We suck it up and get it done though. The boys don't stick around to help me clean up, I don't blame them. I'm looking forward to taking a long shower.

As I shower I get lost in my thoughts. I catch myself smiling about how content I am with life. My dad and I are back on good terms, I have a decent social life again, work is paying the bills, I'm closer than ever to my brothers, Grayson came back. I deserve this, I worked hard to get here. I can't wait to see what the future has in store for the next chapter(s) of my life.