To Infiniti & Beyond

Chapter Twenty-Nine

I can feel it in my chest, I am going to interact with Grayson somehow tonight. I don't know where this feeling came from but it hit me out of nowhere. I've never felt like this before. I used to be able to sense when he was going to contact me (i.e. a text, phonecall, hangout - something small), but that would be more like a little tingle, this was almost suck-the-air-from-my-lungs painful.

My phone chimes and the text from Brynn reads "looking forward to seeing you both tonight, 6pm don't forget."

I don't know how we managed to do it, but Brynn, Eva and I are all free. Not only that, but Eva offered to host. Typically I'm the host, so this will be a nice change of scenery.

Eva is already here seeing as I've arrived a few minutes late. I walk through the door without knocking (none of us ever do) and head upstairs to find them laying in bed scrolling on their phones. "What a liveley bunch we've got here!" I sarcastically comment.

Eva throws a pillow at me and Brynn smirks.

We take the next little while to determine what's on tonight's agenda. It's decided that we'll do skincare and then smoke - but first we need to pick up the essential items.

Eva (the skincare guru) has supplied us with all of her products. I offer to drive us to wawa to obtain snacks and drinks.

On the drive there, I get a wave of anxiety for an unknown reason. I subtly push it away by turning up the music and putting the windows down slightly.

At wawa we all go to our respected snack aisles - me and my chips, Brynn and her candy, Eva and her protein cookies - and meet up in the drink aisle a few minutes later. They each grab a Gatorade and I grab an Arizona Iced Tea.

As we wait in the checkout line, we hear a loud car either pass by or pull up, I comment to Brynn that it sounds nice to which she agrees. When we're walking to the door to exit wawa, it catches us by surprise to see Tristian, Darcy, Dean, Jasper, and Mason all file in. We exchange a choros of hello's and my eyes instinctively dart around to see if Grayson is with him.

I'm sandwiched between Brynn and Eva, accidently catching the back of Eva's shoe and I stumble. I look down and apologize, as I'm bringing my head back up, my green eyes instantly find his brown.

He is on the phone and holds the outside door for the three of us to exit so he can enter. "Hey guys," is all he says while still holding eye contact with me.

I think I manage a meek "hi" but I can't remember as my body is now in autopilot and I'm just trying to get to the comfort of my car. Walking to my car I can't help but look back, to which I catch him looking at me through the store's window before disappearing behind a wall.

In the solitude of my car, I drop my head into the palm of my hands. "No fucking way that just happened."

Eva asks me if I'm okay, to which I really have no answer to give her. My body is uncontrollably shaking. I wasn't prepared to see him tonight. I haven't seen or heard from him in just over a month, so why today of all days? Being with my girls I was in such a good and carefree mood, and then it all just came crashing down.

"Do you want to stay for a few minutes?" Brynn asks, knowing my answer will be yes. I just nod my head in response.

We stay for another five minutes pretending we're trying to get situated. When I'm not paying attention Brynn screams and it startles me, "what!?"

"He just fucking looked at you, again!!"

This sends all three of us into a brief screaming frenzy with overlapping comments.

I quite literally raced us home (after asking my passengers for permission of course). I know it sounds cheesy, but speed calms me. The adrenaline just pushes any other feeling or emotion out and I am able to feel peaceful again, even if it's for a brief moment in time.

At the house, Eva did our skincare before we smoked. This consisted of dermaplaning and her fancy serums / moisturizers. Brynn comments that she feels like a glazed doughnut and we all laugh.

I'm feeling much better now about the Grayson interaction, but it still lingers in my mind. I hope smoking will being me peace for the rest of the night.

Post smoking we're all sitting outside staring up at the star filled sky. It's trippy, I feel like I can feel the earth rotating and it makes me giggle. My giggle sends us all into a slow laughing fit for an unknown amount of time.

We're at the point where we feel like we can walk now. Brynn has smoked more sessions than Eva and I have combined - she's now got the whole walking part mastered. Eva and I cling onto each other trying not to fall over, calling out that Brynn is walking too fast.

Back in the safety of Brynn's room (technically it's Jaxon's room, but she lives here now and hes on vacation), Eva and Brynn take the bed and I take the gaming chair. Eva is eating, Brynn is on her phone, I'm back to staring into space getting lost in my thoughts.

It occurs to me that neither of them are paying attention to me. I take this opportunity to text Grayson. "It was good to see you, hope you're doing well."

I am pleasantly surprised when it takes him less than fifteen minutes to reply, "good to see you too, I wish we had more time to catch up."

Satisfied with his response, I leave it at that.