𝐁𝐔𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄

21

"How did last night go?"

I'm in my father's study again, PJ's on and a crop top Amina smuggled in for me. Damn, am I at boarding school? "Your people didn't tell you," I shoot back.

My father took in a sharp breath. Clearly he wasn't used to this from Amina, or even Ali. Maybe he was reconsidering bringing me back into his life.

"I know what they have reported, but I also appreciate first-hand accounts."

"Why are you talkin' like this? Like we didn't come from the same part of Arizona, Dad?"

"I've elevated from the hood. You haven't Courtlynn," he snapped. "There, I said it," he sighs.

I blink, looking away from him. "Damn."

"Courtlynn, I still remember where I came from-

"You don't," I tell him, staring him down, "You don't even remember the old you. The one who cared about his daughter, her mother. His family. You forgot about us. And you forgot who you were."

"And for that I'm sorry," he says deeply.

"You wanna be what Hadassa wants you to be so bad," I gesture around at his study, "This fancy life was never you. And it damn sure isn't me. Amina could have trapped Dieson in this-

"She couldn't have," he says immediately.

"Because you actually love her. Because she's the one you raised. The one you got an emotional connection with," I laugh bitterly, "I'm just a stranger to you. Why not use me? That's how you think, don't you?"

He sniffed, putting on his reading glasses. He wore his pajamas too, however a more fancy version of anything I'd ever have, a mixture of satin and something else. "You remind me so much of her, that's all. And you know the ends and outs of that club, Amina doesn't."

"It was nine-year old me's fault that I reminded you of my mother, so you had to abandon me? Because you know that's what you did, right?" I argue. "And I think you underestimate Amina a lot. She's a strong young woman."

"When is this discussion going to get old, please Courtlynn," he stared me down, his hard look so similar to mine that it made me stand still in awe. "I abandoned you. That's in the past. Let me put that in your English: Forget about that shit, and move the fuck on."

He pointed to the doorway, and I turned, numbed by this experience as I pushed my way out, holding my tears in until I could reach my bedroom.

I was in the middle of crying my eyes out when a knock came down on my door.

"Who is it?"

"Does it really matter?"

Ali came in, sitting down besides me on the bed as I laid face down, before I could invite him in.

"Why are you crying?" he asked curiously.

"Because that father of yours is an asshole. And he doesn't realize how much he hurt me and he doesn't even seem to care about it either-

"No. I mean, why are you crying? Why cry when you could be doing something to fix your problems." I brought my face up from the bed, giving him a death stare. "He wanted me to tell you that he's allowing you to go out on Saturday's and Sunday's now. But I have to be there as your escort. So you don't try anything wild, and stuff like that."

I sit up, bringing my knees to my chest, thinking that over. "I have a few stops I need to make," I tell him.

About an hour or two later, I'm ready to go to NJ's, hoping that he'll be home and that he could call M over too. I have on cotton biker shorts and a white skeleton t-shirt that falls right at my waistline, freshly cleaned Forces, and my hair in the same style with the clips as yesterday. We head to Oared in one of Ali's cars, some sports vehicle he tries telling me about that I have no interest in. Did I look like I knew what a V8 engine was? That sounded like a juice I drunk as a kid.